Sunday, October 21, 2007

New Rule

New Rule. White people in Saipan can't say Hafa Adai, Si Yu'us Ma'ase or wear a mwar. There are some things that just don't go together. Karl Rove and rap, dogs and walking on their two hind legs and the CNMI government and competence. When pasty white folks in Saipan say Hafa Adai while wearing a mwar, you're not doing as the Romans, you're trying too hard -- straining like you're having a recalcitrant bowel movement. You're white and in Saipan, hit the golf course, have a brew at Hamilton's or bitch about the government at Bobby Cadillacs. Leave the indigenous culture to the people who really understand indigenous culture -- the Chamorro and Carolinian teenagers in ski hats, baggy jeans and the Tupac Shakur shirts.


What can I say, Bill Maher is my idol.

29 comments:

Dennis said...

Man, I could hear Bill's voice in my head while reading your New Rules! Right On!

Boni said...

There's lots of pasty white Chamorros out there too Jeff? How about them?

Galvin Deleon Guerrero said...

Have you seen the Chappelle version of Trading Spouses where the black father drops the gangsta wanna-be white kid in the middle of the hood? I've always wanted to do that with all our island's gangsta wanna-bes.

bigsoxfan said...

Strangely enough we have them in Ulan Baatar. I blame it on the Yankee's brand marketing. Baggy pants aren't in, too much of a breeze up the backside.

bradinthesand said...

and the only time i hear locals using "Hafa Adai, Si Yu'us Ma'ase or wearing a mwarmwar" is when there's something official.

i've never heard someone say "Si Yu'us Ma'ase" around the house. maybe because it takes too long.

and "Hafa Adai" is something more likely used to open speeches and welcome newbies.

the only one i know who wears a mwarmwar with regularity is cinta. once in a while though she takes it off to show off her flowing locks.

Jeff said...

I think John Gonzales wears one even in the shower. I see lots of them. It's cool on locals.

bradinthesand said...

and i noticed you changed the post a little...

Anonymous said...

Attempting to use the local lanuage or wearing a mwarmwar on special occasions is one thing, but there are certain cultural customs us white boys should not try to follow, especially certain fashion statements. At the '05 Yap Days festival, I (unfortunately) saw a tall skinny white dude wearing a thu'us. It was not a pretty site and he looked very stupid as he tried to play the role of a local. There were also two hoale women dressed "local', which wasn't so bad (to me) as they were topless and I happen to like semi-naked women. But I must admit they also looked just as foolish. If I go to that extreme please take me (as an anonymous commenter) out back and put me out of my misery.

lil_hammerhead said...

Mwars used to be worn by many people.. just too expensive to invest $5.00 a week to wear one. Mwar look beautiful on everyone.

I've never heard "hafa adai" used amonst Chamorros in regular conversation. It's kind of like "aloha" it's used as a polite greeting to visitors. Both are used more in writing, usually at the beginning of letters.

Jeff said...

Consider the gun cocked and loaded, Bruce.

Boni said...

Mwar. It's a mwar. Pronounced m-where with a rolling r. And we do use si' yu'us ma'ase all the time, even at home. And we do use hafa adai, but we don't smile and extend one hand waving whilst standing with poise while we're saying it. And it looks cool on white people too.

bradinthesand said...

I always smile and extend one hand waving whilst standing with poise while we're saying Hafa Adai. Sheesh, and I thought you were local.

bradinthesand said...

...and are you sure it's not MWAR ?

Boni said...

Do you clap after "todo mauleg how are you?" too? If not, then it doesn't matter that you smile and extend one hand waiving, whilst standing with poise, while saying Hafa Adai. I am too local, got the coconuts shells to prove it.

Boni said...

coconut shells, drinking drunk, I'm on a roll

bradinthesand said...

mwar in the world is carmen san diego?

Boni said...

you funny, mwar you from?

marianas life said...

make love not mwar

lil_hammerhead said...

Mwar it with a smile
Mwar did all the good times go?
Mwars the beef?
UnderMwar
Don't Mwar it out
Home is Mwar the Heart is
Mwar the boys are
Mwar it well

bradinthesand said...

oh mwar, oh mwar did my little dog go? oh mwar, oh mwar can he be?

Jeff said...

Glad this isn't getting ridiculous or anything. I'm pulling the plug on mwar puns.

lil_hammerhead said...

Alright.. back to the actual post then. While I understand where you and Galvin are coming from with regard to the current dress of our teenagers. You can ask any Chamorro or Carolinian teenager what there "culture" is and they aren't going to tell you "rap music, baggy pants and ski hats". They're going to talk about traditional dance, the mwar, traditional food and maybe chewing betelnut. Fads are fads, and here they haven't proven in most cases not to become a thread in any permanent cultural fabric.

Before hip-hop, it was R&B, before that it was dance, before that it was boy and girl groups, etc. There were some horrendous styles in the 70's and 80's. I'd much rather see my daughters in baggy clothes, than skin tight ones and mini-skirts.

Leave the kids be, it's all part of the learning process. Just do your best to teach your children not to be sheep and to say "Hafa Adai"!

Speaking of bellbottoms, I think I'll mwar those tomorrow.

Boni said...

When we visited my in-laws years ago, my mother in law made a statement I'll never forget, "around here we don't let our children dress like hoodlums". Tony was 5 and baggy shorts on. Darn! There just weren't any Dickies at Town House or Joeten. He still wears baggy pants, but he got the highest SAT10 of the freshman class last year. Mwah!

Galvin Deleon Guerrero said...

Well said. My bad. Mea culpa.

I, myself, am guilty of some of the worst fads ever: cuffed jeans (although I never succumbed to acid-washed denim), a rat tail (was I red-neck wannabe?), Ray Bans (but you have to admit Ray Bans are cool no matter what era), a Raiders cap (even though I knew nothing and still know nothing about football), and a signed copy of a Winger cassette (if you know who Winger is then you’re just as guilty of me).

I even still have my copy of Vanilla Ice…

Word to your mutha…

Boni said...

And, you got our whole class in trouble for your choice of music at the Valentine's Dance. I brought my dad as a date too! Remember that?

Galvin Deleon Guerrero said...

Yikes! Boni, does your dad still remember that? I hope not. I try to forget the whole thing. We were stuck on that boat the whole night and Principal Calvo yelled at me in front of everyone. The look on his face that night...Wow...

I don't blame him one bit. As a principal, I would do the same now. (I can't believe I played the entire 2 Live Crew album ad nauseum!)

And talk about payback. Now, I'm principal for Mr. Calvo's grandchildren. But I lucked out because they're great kids--not nearly as bad as I was.

By the way, one of the privileges in my current position: the power to expunge my record.

Now if I can only bury those yearbooks in a safe place...

Boni said...

Show some love Galvin. I have a rap sheet too:) BTW, I voted today!!!

lil_hammerhead said...

Yikes Galvin! I remember rat tails. Geez, those were just so wrong on so many levels. Right up there with Crocheted Hats with the coke cans woven into them, the neon-wear and the pastel preppy polos of the 80s.

lil_hammerhead said...

We need to teach our kids what's appropriate and what's not around certain company. We need to instill in them good base values. And to some degree we need to keep an eye on them and shelter them from things that are just way way way too inappropriate.

But when I hear folks complain about the music, or the dress, or the movies, or the games.. this to me is just a cop out.

You said it Galvin.. 2 Live Crew. I listened to that as well. I also listened to alot of hard rock which was frought with garbage. Everyone did. We're okay.. alright, you're okay. We watched the most violent movies, Rambo, Terminator, Predator, etc. We had real firearms. We played with GI Joe. We had lasertag and toy guns of every sort.

Foxnews has been featuring a boy that got suspension for drawing a boy shooting a gun. I remember many of us drawing soldiers and guns and weapons of every sort.

This politically correct nonsense goes way too far sometimes. Especially when it comes to children. Alot of it is simply a copout for bad parenting. If you have a parent or two at home, who care about what you are up to, talk to you, discipline you and participate in your life.. you'll be just fine.