Sunday, February 28, 2010

Hannibal Buress is a great new standup

I absolutely love this guy's approach to stand up. I caught him on Comedy Central last week and love it, saw a few more online, and definitely like the dude's take.
Hannibal Buress - Living Together
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Thoughts pulled from my Facebook account

As is pretty obvious, I have lost the blogging itch. I do still like to gather my thoughts. These days that is pretty much done in brief and on Facebook, where I try to occasionally throw in a witty or indignant barb. The blogs are better at organizing and displaying thoughts. Looking back, the media's frivolous nature seems to annoy me most. I pulled these from my Facebook profile from the past year.

On Tiger Woods:

The needle on my "don't give a shit meter" just broke from the strain of the Tiger Woods press conference. Not sure whether it's his safe, bland, corporate personality, the painfully dull sport he plays or indifference that he is one of like "all" athletic superstars who stray.

On the state of education, mainly the ethos that absolves kids of responsibility for themselves:

Education is the one place liberals shouldn't be in charge.

After getting Direct TV:

You find out new things about your spouse when you start sharing a DVR.

After TSA decided to keep people from the rest room on flights:

Kind of hoping there is an attempt to launch a respiration bomb on an airplane to see if TSA bans breathing during flights.

After seeing the Black Eyed Peas open for U2:

Have gotten into the Black Eyed Peas since I saw them with U2 last month. Found out the lead cat goes by Will.I.Am. I have decided that if I become a rapper I want to be called Boobs.I.Like

After allowing snacks in second period:

This week's sign of the apocalypse: The snack of choice for seventh graders appears to be raw ramen noodles

More disbelief at the lives of teenagers these days:

I had two seventh graders today claim ignorance of Michael Jordan. Last year I had an eighth grader emphatic in her obliviousness to the existence of the Rolling Stones. These weren't recent immigrants. I also had several emphatically claim not to have a book in the house.

Thoughts on the triviality of the media:

Is Michael Jackson still dead? I think I just flipped through channels successfully with no mention of it. Feeling confused.

On being a dad:

Baby vomit smells like really intense Parmesan cheese. I'm not happy to know this.

On irony about the complete corruption in our government that no one blinks at. That newspaper headline in quotes still amazes:

"Goldman employees told no big purchases." Isn't that what Jimmy told his crew in Goodfellas after the Lufthansa heist? Draw any parallels you wish.

More on fatherhood:

One good thing about being bald, I'm the only one in the family who doesn't get their hair pulled by the baby.

More on how much the media sucks:

I'm not sure, given the Michael Jackson feeding frenzy, whether the American media providing the needless details, or the population consuming it, should be more ashamed and embarrassed. Are we as a people really this gossipy and trivial?

General thoughts:

The greatest nickname in history has to be "The Edge," though "Magic" as in Johnson would be a close second.

On the dumbness on the extremes in public debate:

46 million Americans don't have health insurance, which is shitty and doesn't cover enough anyway. The richest 300,000 Americans have more wealth than the bottom 150 million. Can we stop this stupid socialist crap already!

On polls:

Jeff picked the five "People you would like to Punch In The Face!".
George Bush, Gilbert Gottfried, Bankers, 2004 Red Sox Team and Any TSA agent.

On media and public overreaction:

Wondering what Michael Phelps could have accomplished if pot didn't destroy his ambition.

More on our lousy media:

As best I can tell from the news, the only things going on in the world are that Tiger Woods has the peculiarity of wanting to escape from his boring job by having sex with very hot women -- other than his smoking Swedish wife, and Obama throws such amazing parties that two people risked criminal prosecution to do the... electric slide or something at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

On Black Friday:

Tired of the Black Friday hype. There is a good chance you don't really need it.

Reaction to seeing a world class incompetent re-elected:

Congratulations CNMI. Much like the U.S. in 2004, with the clear warning signs, you re-elected a corrupt, incompetent, misguided moron. That is what you deserve.

On Belicheck's call against the Colts backed up deep in his own territory on Sunday Night Football:

There are few greater sports joys than seeing an arrogant, joyless SOB like Bill Belichick facilitate one of the great single game collapses in football history by pulling an epic blunder with all eyes watching.

Thoughts on more physical activity:

Was asked to be Santa Claus at my school's holiday party for the little kids. Somehow I don't think I was asked because I'm so jolly. Time to exercise.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Analogy of the Day

I nominate this for analogy of the day:

"Thanks to botox, lasers, and all the other products and cosmetic treatments, so many older women look fantastic now that it's like trying to figure out which potential Hall of Fame receivers or sluggers from the '90s and '00s should be Hall of Famers."

From the Bill Simmons mailbag