Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Advice for Boni on telling Dems from Republicans and other musings

Our fair Boni Gomez is kicking it in the nation's capitol, Washington, D.C. She gave out this dispatch:

Today I sat with the "suits". They are a curious demographic, constantly pacing
and on their cell phones. They live mainly on Starbucks. I still cannot tell the
democrats from the republicans off the bat, but I am observing them carefully.
If anyone knows a quick litmus test for this, please let me know.
I feel I must help, so I offer the following advice. If there is a black helmet, a red light saber and heavy breathing it's a Republican. Sometimes a cape and pitchfork can be found as well. Other signs: Being extremely well fed, driving the environmental catastrophe that is the Hummer or tapping their foot to Tony in the men's restroom.

If they've got a kick me sign on the back of their jacket, or they're hunched over for lack of a backbone, it's a Democrat. Other signs, Birkenstocks, driving a Toyota Prius or if you hear someone yelling, "Thank you sir may I have another."
Is this new NMC President Carmen Fernandez a control freak, dicatatorial whack job or what. She fired Howard Cole, the 2004 NMC instructor of the year, for telling the truth, that she's trying to close NMC's academic programs in Rota and Tinian. He has worked there for ten years. When precious NMC money is lost for the inevitable lawsuit, I hope it comes out of this witch's pocket. I've never met her or Cole, but memo to Miss NMC, you're not George Steinbrenner in the 70s. Get real and I hope they fire her before she pisses more money away with lawsuit inviting tactics like that.
I went diving with Axe Murderer Tours President Harry Blalock a few weeks back. I had a brain fart and stirred up some sand and killed Harry's nudibranch photo efforts. Brad Derksen was on the scene and took video, drawn by the image of the two white guys with no hair. Last night Cynthia is checking out blogs with our son, and clicks on Brad's underwater video. Seeing the two bald, white heads underwater, my perplexed son asks, "Why are there two daddies?"


1 comment:

Bruce A. Bateman said...

The identification is simpler than Jeff makes it sound. The democrat will have his hand a bit deeper into the pocket of the other fellow than the republican. Other than that they are indistinguishable.

One must look closely at what they DO, not what they SAY they will do. The saying part sounds diametrically opposed. They are peas in a pod when it comes to the doing part.

What they both do best is steal from those who produce and give to those who do not, especially themselves, their friends, their political cronies or whomever they think they can buy a vote from.