Do our leaders even care about this power crisis, MV 30

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

I sit here penning this piece on Monday morning at Java Joes -- one of the few businesses on island that seem to be aided by the fact that on a perfectly calm and clear day, there is no power on the south side of the island, and perhaps the rest of the island as well. I'm not sure at this point. It's a school day, but students have been sent home early. The school year will now be extended one day. No power leads to no water and that is a sanitary "no no," so parents must scramble to find arrangements to pick up and then supervise their children for the rest of the day.

On the drive over I notice the ghost town we are becoming -- a bevy of places where businesses used to exist. The survivors and the brave newbies sit in darkness this morning. The traffic lights are out creating a public safety hazard on the roadways. That fact led to a close call for me a few days ago. After I arrive, I chat with a friend on the cell phone -- a right wing businessman. Strangely, a proud liberal like me has mostly right wingers as friends. Some of my fellow lefties are a bit uptight and dull I've found through recent experience. He relates that the power at his place on the island's north side was out four times yesterday.

I order a coffee and pick up Monday morning's edition of this paper. The lead headline reads: "Governor exploring 'options' to fight federalization." I sit here and wish I still had hair so I would have something to pull out. I contemplate whether the leader of a place that can't keep the power on and may not be able to keep the schools open is seriously planning on taking on the federal government after the 91-4 stomping he just took in the United States Senate. If Governor Fitial can take on the U.S. Congress, maybe I can take my flabby tail and try for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. In both cases I imagine the result will be painful, expensive and bloody. No one disputes that the Covenant clearly states that the federal government can take over immigration, and Congress strongly feels the time is now and the president agrees. This might be the first time in almost eight years President Numbnuts gets it right, though in his case it will be for the wrong reason. The right sees federalization as a national security issue.

A friend of mine, another longtime businessman on island, idles by my booth and we chat. He relates intelligence he's heard that the lobbyist we hired is so inept that he is one colorful set of clown shoes away from signing on with the circus. Speaking of clowns, I note today's letter from circus ring leader Greg Cruz, who is once again enraged that the foreigners he despises won't be entering the islands with such free abandon, and the local people he so adores will have more job options and better pay as the labor supply is set to be reduced. The fact that this bill includes the CNMI congressional delegate everyone has been screaming for apparently is of little comfort. Cruz insists the local government that I wouldn't trust to make ice correctly remain in control of steering these islands into that iceberg dead ahead. Further comment on this guy is pointless. I just wonder if when Cruz breaks Ambrose Bennett's all-time letters to the editor record, will the record book show an asterisk and will it be tainted like Barry Bonds' home run record. Cruz clearly has a team of ghost writers decoding his thoughts -- that is unless the ghost writers are the ones pulling his puppet strings. I wonder when KSPN is going to do an ESPN style "Behind the Lines" show on this issue. I say put in the asterisk. It's "common sense."

Like George Bush who attacked the wrong country, the one that had nothing to do with 9/11, and who is the driving force behind this $3 trillion dollar folly in Iraq that could have been used for good such as reducing the deficit, fixing the broken down education system or helping the 46 million Americans without health insurance, I wonder how much better things would be here if our governor put as much passion into fixing the power plant as he does in keeping the poorest people poor through this absurd federalization and minimum wage fight. Last week's news was that CUC could only come up with two weeks of gas to fuel one month of power, yet we hear barely a peep from leadership on this issue. That's kind of like heading to the emergency room with your arm falling off and the doctors decide it's time to change careers and become mimes. Where are even the empty promises about fixing the power plant? The resident representative recently said there was federal money that could be used to do this. Where is the follow up? Where is the sense of responsibility to be a leader? Where does the buck stop? The governor seems like a nice guy, but I expect he will be completely trounced if he follows through on his recent promise to run for re-election. He has certainly been more fiscally responsible than his predecessor, but he over promised in the campaign and has under delivered in office, and his lack of focus on the power plant is unforgivable. The only thing our leaders seem to manage around here is the blame.

Wouldn't it be nice if the governor could focus on something everyone wants: a stable power system! The fact that power is expensive is an unfortunate result of global factors and an economy of scale issue that is not in our favor -- plus we didn't maintain the plant so it's inefficient. But unreliable as well as expensive is just not acceptable, and even more irritating is that he doesn't seem concerned. Federalization and minimum wage seem to be all he cares about. Even if he were able to win a reprieve on federalization, the issue would still be out there and it's not going away. Business hates uncertainty and uncertainty is what could be accomplished at best.

Part of me wants to add a few more paragraphs blasting the leadership, but that absolves others culpable in our demise: the voters. An enormous number of voters fell for that election season gambit of lowering the power rates to take that issue off the table -- the one issue that had people really angry. Angry people tend to "throw the bums out." Now that the election season is over, the rate reduction no one planned to pay for is soon to be no more, and that rate reduction was a prime factor in why CUC can't buy enough gas this month. You, the voter, returned the same people to office, and some of the people you kicked out last time. Did you expect them to magically change their ways? People need to be more cynical.

The most cynical view says "we get the government we deserve," and sometimes that view is right. For the last several years most people sat silent or indifferent to the daily mismanagement. The attitude seemed to be as long as it didn't impact me personally, it doesn’t much matter. Now there is a huge problem with this power plant. It depresses people's spirits, it kills business, it wastes money and no one has a hint of a solution. The perks of office are so great that no one, other than Tina Sablan it seems, cares to take the risk to propose anything bold or take a principled stand.

Too much fixation on this government is bad for the spirit. I decide to leave and grab the lunch special at the new 360 Restaurant, go for a snorkel in the Grotto and bask in the sun at the Mandi Spa. There are some things about this island the politicians can't screw up, and those are the things that keep me and a lot of people here.

A conversation with Lucy Blanco-Maratita, MV 29

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

I opened my Monday morning paper this week and saw the headline: "BOE approves PSS furloughs, shutdown," and small vapors of steam started coming out of my ears. I decided to do a little of my own investigating before getting completely upset, and I found out that the school system does indeed have a severe financial problem on its hands. However, no concrete decisions have been made yet. A set of unpleasant choices exists should members of the central government continue their longtime policy of supporting education during the campaigns and then giving it short shrift upon being elected.

The fact that the most basic services of government such as energy, public health and education are left to flounder, while our elected officials remain defiant and refuse to give up or even reduce perks of office like government paid vehicles, government paid cell phones and a large discretionary budget, simply boggles my mind. I peppered CNMI Board of Education Chair Lucy Blanco-Maratita with several questions about PSS’ financial predicament, and she explained the choices the board has and their consequences, as well as ways to avoid those problems.

JCT: According to a conversation I had with your board colleague Galvin Deleon Guerrero, as things currently stand, PSS is looking at a projected deficit this fiscal year of $3.3 million largely due to greater utilities costs and $2 million that was "borrowed" from PSS in Fiscal Year 2006, which has not been returned to PSS. What are the options the board is considering to deal with this problem?

LBM: The first option, of course, is to secure a budget for FY'08 from the legislature that puts us over the current continuing resolution budget of $35.48 or at least get the $2M from the administration returned to PSS --- and that still will not be enough to meet our $50M budget to operate our schools. The second option will be to close our schools completely from mid-June and delay the opening until September 1st. This will reduce our utilities and we can then use the funds for operations. A third option that we may be forced to consider is furlough of employees for one month. This is not something that we want to do because we don't want the ill effects that would have on our student achievement gains and the livelihood of our staff. But, if we do not have the funds to last until the end of the fiscal year, we may be forced to consider it.

JCT: What impact will those options have on students and teachers if implemented?

LBM: If you are talking about furlough, we stand to lose our teachers and staff as they may decide to leave and we will definitely experience a slippage of the gains we have made with our student achievements.

JCT: My understanding is that these are just options right now and no course of action has been definitively decided upon by the board. Is that correct?

LBM: Yes, those are just considerations that were being discussed at the time the reporter was there. The reporter left before the end of the discussion in which the board decided to send a message to the legislature to pass a piecemeal budget because we may be forced to consider such drastic measures.

JCT: I also understand you will be sending a letter detailing these possibilities to the legislature. The underfunding of education in the CNMI can't be news to them. What have they communicated back to the board of late about these issues?

LBM: They have told us they are supportive of education, but we need to see more --- perhaps more funding. I think they (legislature, governor) have to just put their foot down and make a policy call that their focus is truly on education and fund it as the schools see as adequate.

JCT: It seems like the BOE has had a number of financial issues in the past, and some people will view this as "crying wolf" or gamesmanship with the legislature and the executive branch. How are things different this time?

LBM: I don't believe in threats, "crying wolf", etc. I believe in laying it all out for everyone to see and make informed decisions. We also need to plan ahead and try to foresee anticipated consequences so that we can plan and deal with those consequences before they happen. This is why it's important for the legislature and governor to understand what we see facing us so they can help us avert those unwanted consequences.

JCT: What can parents, teachers and students do to help the board manage this crisis?

LBM: Students: Continue to focus on your studies; let the adults deal with these issues. The job of our students is to learn what they can so they can be prepared for the futureTeachers: Continue teaching our students effectively and do your part in helping our system conserve energy so those funds will be available for your classroom rather than for CUC, albeit we do need utilities. If you have the opportunity to share information with our elected leaders, by all means please take the opportunity to share our need for adequate funding every day, for repairs of our schools, etc., but the best thing you can do is to continue to teach our children well with the dedication and commitment that you all have. Let us know how we can further support you in doing your job well.Parents: Continue to be involved with your children's education, communicate often with your child's teacher so that a strong partnership is forged between home and school. We can work together to encourage our elected leaders to truly make education a priority for funding and support. But the best help you can give is to be involved in your children's education, to help us meet their needs.

Now for the good news, MV 28

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

I once saw a comedian do a bit about how the news reports should really just be called the "bad news" because of the media's proclivity to focus on the negative. The point seems spot on, but I'll try to confuse that notion this week by pointing out some people who have impressed me of late by displaying excellence around the islands.

Will DeWitt and his music students at Saipan Southern High School topped the band competition at the 4th Annual Tumon Bay Music Festival in Guam last week. This same band then proceeded this week to get an invite to the opening ceremonies at the Summer Olympics in Beijing, China. "Eighteen months ago the kids weren’t even playing an instrument, so within a year and half they elevated their skills to a level that is internationally competitive and they proved last week that they’re the best in the region," DeWitt said, noting that this was his proudest achievement as a teacher.

Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, "Without music, life would be a mistake." DeWitt and his students are showing how correct life is, and everyone in this community from the sponsors, to the parents, to the community at large should boast in what is being done by this former teacher of the year runner up and his dedicated group of student musicians. The students begin rehearsing each day even earlier than the rest of the 8:00 am SSHS school day to make this all possible.

Similarly, Saipan Southern High School Basketball Coaches Jesse Tudela and Joel Punzalan and all the coaches and players from all the teams in the MISO Basketball League ran a successfull program this year that resulted in varsity and junior varsity championships for SSHS. Basketball is the only high school sport that looks to be as well supported, popular and organized here as high school athletics in the mainland, and I know this season was a proud moment for all involved. This was the first year for the junior varsity team to suit up as well. Athletics teaches teamwork, self discipline and instills the ability to set goals.This program is extremely helpful to the island's youth, and everyone who participated or donated their time and talents should be proud.

On the student academic front, Hopwood Junior High School Language Arts Teacher Beth Nepaial seems to be doing wonders in teaching a writing program to her students at HJHS. During professional development last week she had several students in her classroom on a student day off getting extra instruction from high school teachers on their writing skills. I was able to assist a few of these students and see the fruits of their writing labor, as well as their genuine desire to learn -- always the fuel the powers teachers -- and it made me feel good to see what a well organized classroom Nepaial is running, which will help PSS meet its goals, and more importantly, put these students on track to greater academic, career and intellectual success.

Physical success is important as well. When a person lives on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, medical options are limited, but to be honest, I've always gotten great care on this island for five years now. I've previously written about my good experiences with Drs. Daniel Lamar, Norma Ada, Nathan Tan, Ben Sawer and Robert George. The latter three have moved on, but I can now add Dr. Jennifer Linden, who is managing a very busy obstetrics division at Commonwealth Health Center, to that impressive list. She is able to handle the relentless queries of this first time, from scratch at least, father to be with great aplomb, and she handles an extremely busy division with great resolve, patience and a sunny temperament that inspires confidence.

Speaking of confidence, the idea that any single individual human being could complete a 1.5-kilometer swim, 30-km mountain bike, and 12-km trail run back to back staggers my mind. The following CNMI residents recently did so in the 7th Annual XTERRA Saipan Championships: Eli Torgeson, Mieko Carey, Nate Hawley, Lewie Tenorio, Butch Sublemente, Florian Braig, Joe Ngiraibuuch, Brad Ruszala, Manny Sitchon, Rudy Villegas and Heather Kennedy. Another 29 local residents completed the race in some other form such as relay and sport relay race, and they only did it through great determination and hard work -- which also happened to bring good publicity to the CNMI.

When it comes to publicity, many people have felt that descriptions of the good, the beauty and the excellence around us have been missing. Dr. David Khorram recently self published a book called "World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails," which offers his views on the joys of island living. He is now planning on putting together a book culling the best writing on the CNMI from the many CNMI blogs that have sprouted up over the last two years to help counter the negative publicity the CNMI has endured over the years.

Another way to boast about our islands involves capturing the bevy of photographic possibilities around us. Fortunately we have people eager to do that. At the new 360 Restaurant are some fabulous pictures by local photographer Mark Robertson highlighting both the underwater world and the above ground landscape. He displays a print of Forbidden Island that is especially impressive. KZMI Director Harry Blalock also has his pictures displayed at the monument leading to the Grotto and has numerous staggering underwater photographs here: http://www.saipandiver.smugmug.com/ Those pictures lend the world a new appreciation to the underwater world around us, and his nudibranch photographs have been published in several scientific books.

Finally, for two weekends this month I was able to witness several local actors from the Voices of the Marianas ply their craft in the "Play Buffet," a set of original theater pieces written and performed by CNMI residents and organized by director Barbara Sher. Especially impressive were the pieces written and performed by Richard Hamilton, Nahal Navidar, Donald Cohen and a group of mostly Marianas High School students who did a sketch on life's changes, or lack thereof, over time.

So much for the bad news. It's good to remember we have a small, vibrant community of people here who do unique things with great passion. The CNMI is a place where people can invent and reinvent themselves.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

Energy and the credit market are the keys, MV 27

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

There are so many economic problems that go unmentioned with the endless and tiring immigration and minimum wage debate that perhaps we should focus on those that get scant attention in comparison.

High on the list of problems is our lack of a viable credit market. One of the factors that has sustained the U.S. economy post 9/11 is easily available credit. The fed is back lowering rates as the economy teeters again, and it lowered rates to the point of absurdity after that event. This cash infusion inflated home prices and weakened the dollar to a noticeable degree. The dollar is likely to get even weaker as rates lower and the supply of dollars continues to increase. People used that money through home equity lines of credit to go out and do what we Americans do best: Spend money like it’s on fire. It’s only now that the effects of a $9 trillion debt and all the easy credit are having a real economic impact, as many people have defaulted on mortgages they shouldn't have gotten in the first place. The situation in the mainland got out of control, but there is a use for a reasonable and judicious exercise of credit via home equity loans that would help things here.

The bizarre Article XII we have here pretty much destroys that credit option. One of the best sources of capital to start a business, buy a new car or take a vacation goes out the window with our ridiculous land ownership rules. Property values are severely depressed because we artificially destroy the demand pool for land and homes. If we only allowed people with blue eyes to purchase King Car Iced Tea, that market would be destroyed as well. Even credit cards are hard to get here, and the most common credit option is the loan sharks at Wells Fargo offering those obscene 29 percent loans. Without a working credit market, it is going to be very difficult to turn around this economy.

Our lack of priority is also an issue. We spent $6 million dollars on a corrupt, incarcerated lobbyist named Jack Abramoff to drag out a few years of our flawed economic model that has kept private sector wages depressed and necessitated our bloated, inefficient, unsustainable bureaucracy. Imagine if just five years ago, when the inflation adjusted oil price was $30, if we invested in alternative energy or at least maintained the power plant we have now. We’d be in far better condition. A few weeks ago oil was at $90 per barrel. Now it’s at $110. It has almost doubled since last year when it was in the $60 per barrel range. What is our energy plan other than the disastrous hope and pray model? There are a few debates about nuclear power in the newspaper, but is there one local official doing anything of substance to get us off a dilapidated, gas fueled power plant as we try to deal with runaway gas prices we can't control.

Every dollar spent on the fixed costs of power and gas takes away discretionary income normally spent in bars, restaurants, hair salons and everything else. These power costs kill businesses with the costs and with the consuming public having less money to spend. We fritter away our time on meaningless resolutions and legislative pet projects as this happens. It's almost hard to fathom that we have delegations going to the states fighting to keep its poorest citizens poor, and one useless bill after another introduced in the legislature, but nothing is being done to fix the biggest problem in our economy: the expensive and unreliable power plant. Fixing this problem should be the laser like focus, but nothing is being done other than talk of privatizing the plant to get that albatross off the necks of the politicians. Just last week another power outage destroyed my computer at school. We have digital projectors that will break quicker because of sudden outages. Every business has a similar issue with its capital, and this leads to capital flight. People don’t want to invest in unstable places. By unstable, I am referring to many facets: power, constantly changing laws, the constant worries about the government meeting payroll and increasing crime. Would you want to invest in a tourism business with the increasing crime against tourists? How about opening a restaurant where diners eat in the dark. I’ve had that happen twice in the last month.

We're fighting "the last war" as they say in military parlance with the minimum wage fight. If any of our leaders are serious about fixing this economy, they should work on something that helps everyone: Fix the power plant and put the policies in place to create a real credit market.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

Good Night Sweet Girl, MV 26

Note: In twenty years of writing for newspapers, this piece got more feedback than anything I've ever written. I received many kind emails from friends and strangers relating their story of losing a pet or just expressing their condolences. Writing it and sharing that pain helped me deal with the hurt, and I think and hope it helped others as well. I thank all of you who shared your story.

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

I lost a member of my family this week. There won't be a funeral. There will be no well wishers. No one will wear black. Some will even casually dismiss as absurd the melancholy that permeates my soul right now. You see, Shelby Turbitt wasn't my wife, child, parent, aunt or uncle; she was "just" my beloved dog for twelve years.

Shelby greeted me every time I walked in the door. She walked on the Oleai Beach Path with me. She watched television with me. When the Yankees won the World Series in 1996, the first time they did so in my mature lifetime, she got as excited as I did -- she just didn't know why. Friends move, stop calling or start ignoring our emails, but our pets are always there, especially if we take care of them -- at least for the relatively short time on Earth they grace us with their presence. She went to the vet each year. She was spayed. She got her preventative medicine. That gave her a relatively long and healthy life. I would urge all pet owners to find a way to do the same. In return for that investment, our pets add a bit of a soft touch to us -- even to a cynical SOB like me. They make us smile. They do things like give sight to the blind and teach children about love, loyalty, friendship and responsibility. They also act as companion to a lot of lonely senior citizens that tend to be forgotten.

It is indeed true that animals aren't people, and lots of good arguments can be made that we dote on them excessively. I "get that" on a pure reason basis, but we people aren't just Apollonian and guided only by reason. We have a Dionysian side that makes us human, not robot, and that makes the pain I feel very real and not the least bit diminished by any rational arguments from those purely practical people capable of minimizing this event -- an event that traumatizes many people who probably feel they need to hide their very real grief.

As couples tend to marry and have children later in life these days, pets tend to become surrogate children. Pet spending has doubled in the U.S. from $17 billion in 1994 to more than $34 billion today. When real children enter our lives, pets do tend to take that backseat. I noticed that trend myself. Shelby understandably went from being the only other living thing in my erstwhile bachelor pad, at least if I cleaned away the mold in the bathroom that week, to the dog that was part of a human family of four. She wasn't as prominent in my life. My older boy took on more of that role as her prime companion, but she and I still had all that history.

I still remember shamelessly walking with her when she was a puppy in the parks near Rutgers University in my mid-twenties for the express purpose of meeting college women. It worked, too. She was a great ice breaker. Every woman I dated had to pass the Shelby test. I knew I was going to be a hell of a lot more difficult to deal with than her, so she was a pretty good filter for potential romantic partners. When I took her into my life, I never imagined becoming an overseas teacher, but that was what I decided to do. I thought briefly about giving her up given the complex journey I was about to make, but she had woven herself into the fabric of my life way too deeply, so I brought her to travel the world with me. I like to joke that this little dog spread fertilizer further and wider than the John Deere Corporation.

In humans our hearts are our weakest organs -- perhaps our pets play a role in softening them. In our pets, kidneys are their weakest organs. Kidneys filter away toxins, kind of like Shelby did for me. Hers began to fail. The veterinarian noticed she was having trouble concentrating her urine a few months back, but there were no other symptoms, and I was never going to do any radical steps to extend her life anyway. I don't believe in that even for people, really. She continued on without any sign of anything unusual for a few months. All of a sudden, I noticed she had lost weight -- weight she perhaps could afford to lose given how well my wife fed her, but there really was not much else pointing to a problem. In a blink of an eye it seemed, she went into kidney failure, vomited blood several times and died quickly and naturally in the middle of the night as I petted her and begged God for a miracle -- or at least to ease her pain. It was a harrowing experience. Nature and the circle of life can be a cruel and relentless mistress. It hurts really bad. There is a scene in Pulp Fiction where Butch asks Marcellus Wallace, after their encounter with the hillbillies, if he is "OK." Wallace responds, "I'm pretty f****ng far from OK." I feel a lot like Wallace right now.

Good night sweet girl. You touched me more than you could ever know.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

A Conversation with Barbara Sher, MV 25

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

Last year I was struck by the quality and originality of the performances in the play "In Transit," which told the individual stories of various folks stuck in an airport and revolved around the central theme of the interconnectedness of all of us. That play inspired me personally to write my own short theater piece and learn a bit about the acting craft from long time theater director Barbara Sher, who is also an author, actress and PSS occupational therapist. The latest incarnation of Sher's theatrical passion is called "The Play Buffet: A Little Something for Everyone's Taste," and it debuts on Friday March 7 at 7:00 pm in the American Memorial Park Theater. Follow up performances will take place on March 8, 13 and 14. In this conversation, Sher discussed this upcoming play and the thirst actors and patrons here in the CNMI have for live theater.

JCT: You have a play opening on Friday. What is it all about? Where did the idea come from and what are your hopes, goals and expectations for this production?

BAS: We have a theater ensemble group called the Voices of The Marianas. The idea is to have original theater in which people from different cultures, walks of life and ages can have an opportunity to tell their stories. The hope is that by hearing other's stories, we can understand them better. It's our way, if you will, of helping to promote peace by accepting diversity. It's easier to accept others differences when we hear their stories and see the ways we are alike. This year's show is called "The Play Buffet: A Little Something For Everyone's Taste." In the show we have ten pieces that run the gamut from a Hollywood 40's type piece to very personal epiphanies and the cast ranges in age from teenagers to elders. As I said, a little something for everyone. We hope to entertain, enlighten and delight our audience and perhaps inspire them to want to express their voice for the next show.

JCT: How has the public reacted to the previous theater offerings you've been involved with?

BAS: Our first production was last year and we had a cast from a mix of cultures. The play took place at an airport where everyone was stuck because of a typhoon. To pass the time, people began to tell their stories and the action got pretty exciting and unpredictable. We weren't sure if we'd get much of an audience for this show, but figured if each us got our friends to come, it would be enough to pay for the rental of the theater. We were shocked and very delighted when each show was sold out and we got standing ovations. We were pleased to find out that there were so many people here interested in original theater.

JCT: How has live theater evolved here in the time you've been on island?

BAS: There has been a wonderful group called the Friends of the Arts that have been putting on productions prolifically for years. They are amazing. They mostly put on professional pieces, not original ones written by local people. That's where our group is different. There is now another original theater group called The Fabulous Invalid Theater Company, which is also very good. We are fortunate to have exciting live theater on this small island.

JCT: How would you describe the talent pool of actors on the islands?

BAS: It's a very mixed group. We have some people who are professionals and even have had their own shows Off-Broadway. Some have done high school shows recently or way back when. Others have never acted in their lives. There are many people who just naturally act in their lives and it's just a matter of getting them to do it on stage.

JCT: Do you expect to be involved in future productions, and if so, any specific ideas, and are you open to novices who would like to get involved? What advice would you offer to a novice interested, but scared and nervous, about actually performing?

BAS: We plan to do this every year. Maybe, someday, twice a year. I would want people who are inspired to start writing something right away. Generally people act what they write, but we have had people who just want to write and others who just want to act. If someone is scared and nervous about it, they should know that everyone starts off scared and nervous. It just takes a bunch of rehearsing and getting comfortable with the part to get past it. They'll surprise themselves with how good they can get with a little dedication.

JCT: How did you get interested in theater yourself, where are some of the places you've performed and what do you enjoy most about working in live theater?

BAS: I was part of a theater group in Northern California for 30 years and a dedicated audience to other groups. Everything done was original and many of our shows included elaborately choreographed dancing. I still often write pieces for an annual monologue show they do. What I like best about doing theater is getting a chance to say real things. I think the canned television shows and the reality shows teach people poor social relationships and superficiality. In live original theater we have a chance to be more profound.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

More New Rules for the CNMI, MV 24

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

It always warms my heart to delve into satire and unabashed ridicule of the strangeness all around us. Thus, I offer more new rules for the CNMI.

New Rule. Enough with the morning radio traffic report in the CNMI. We don't have traffic here, at least as the term is commonly known, we have traffic predicaments. Stuck behind a school bus is the most common traffic predicament. No wonder we have a juvenile diabetes problem on this island because apparently kids can't walk more than ten feet to their house judging by how many stops and bizarre U-turns the school buses make. I'll have to take a pass on the stuck behind a funeral procession predicament, but the next most common problem, stuck behind the hideous and ridiculous political rally convoy is most worthy of vitriol. At least this one is seasonal. How much does gas have to cost before people decide to get out and walk to support their candidate or cause? If I wanted to see an endless stream of cars polluting the environment, moving slowly and making a statement, I'd just move to Manila where the statement is: "Yes I can fit my 6 foot wide taxi in a non-existent lane 6 feet 2 inches wide. Look out and watch me!” Incidentally, none of those predicaments involve a "Mitsubishi Outlanderrrrrrrrr!"

New Rule. People need to start buying their own picnic tables and tents. If everyone had their own barbecue equipment, we could stop being bought off so cheaply and allow the army of lawmakers we overpay to have their focus and foresight, two dirty F words apparently, on the lousy power plant, the college that might have useless degrees or the hospital that can't retain physicians or supplies. Besides, being a real islander means being prepared for a barbecue. I’m from New Jersey, and I wouldn’t give my representatives there my vote if they let the colleges, hospitals and power plants fall apart, but tried to make up for it by loaning me the Bruce Springsteen box set.

New Rule. Complaints about single, middle aged white guys with hot, young Asian girlfriends need to cease. The dollar falls more often than a sorority girl doing Bacardi 151 shots, gas is higher than Bob Marley ever was, prostate cancer research gets a pittance of breast cancer research dollars and the NFL games come on here at 4 a.m. Cut these guys some slack. The ability to get a girlfriend half their age isn't ridiculous, it's the carrot that got them to risk life and limb in the military or to spend vast amounts of time on a merchant marine ship with a bunch of sweaty dudes. A young Asian girlfriend is one of the few remaining perks to being an American in the CNMI.

New Rule. Both newspapers need to stop writing stories about some random contract worker that was ordered to leave the CNMI. Everyday there are several hundred people leaving the CNMI on a large airplane -- probably because they ordered a hamburger at Hard Rock Cafe and blew their entire vacation budget. Newspapers don't write about those people. I don't really care that contract worker XYZ was ordered to depart the CNMI. Get back to the important news such as telling us what Greg Cruz’s ghost writers want him to think.

New Rule. If you're going to have your picture in the newspaper every week, you need to submit one that doesn't make you look like the left fielder on the Sunday morning beer league softball team. In the newspaper business all the pictures and graphics are referred to as "art." Something tells me this stock photo of Tom Pangelinan, who I'm sure is a nice guy, won't be hanging in the Louvre with all the other "art," yet this is the image repeatedly offered on all the Republican stories in this paper. Maybe the committee should buy one less picnic table and invest the savings in a photo shoot. Drop the "up all night jack and coke look," and at least for the press shot, dress like a real Republican -- wear a suit and tie, and don't forget the accessories like the pitchfork and cape, and show those horns and the long tail prominently. Remember, you'll be at the Republican convention this summer to cheer on calls to repeal social programs that feed half the island. It's important to "look the part" of someone heading up the local contingent of a national party that has absolutely no use for most of the people on these islands.

College should be rigorous and a priority, MV 23

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

Against a backdrop of Northern Marianas College fighting to retain its accreditation, the distinction that determines a valuable college degree versus a worthless piece of paper, stories about classroom overcrowding and the high failure rate for NMC's admissions test appeared in the local media this week.

Let me preface my thoughts by saying that for all the educational problems on the islands, compared to all the systems in the area and most definitely Guam and rural Hawaii, we are the most successful system in the region. The problem with that line of thinking in that commonly made point is that we live in a globally competitive economy, so being better than the rest of Micronesia just isn't good enough, and we should not want our local college to lower its placement standards.

For all the noise about PSS, there are two issues that dominate all others that I see. The first is that several schools are falling apart from a simple construction and facilities standpoint. The second big issue is that many classes are wildly overcrowded. Kagman High School is listed as having an average of 29 students per teacher. For a core class like language arts those numbers are usually higher. An art, music or computer class is usually much smaller than 29, so when the average says 29, there are usually more than 29 students in math, science or language arts classes to make up for those smaller elective classes. At SSHS, the freshmen pre-honors language arts class has 35 students. Three of my four classes are above 29 students per class.

As for the entrance exams, the criticisms of NMC have been somewhat ridiculous. College is supposed to be rigorous. Every college has admission tests generally in math, language arts and a foreign language. I had to take two remedial math classes myself when I entered college for the simple reason that my math skills weren't at the college level, which made it harder to graduate in four years, but it was still done. The argument that NMC is using this as some kind of money raising tactic is hokum. It could simply raise its already very cheap tuition fees if money was the prime focus.

This comment from a letter to the editor from Ivan Propst defending the NMC admission tests was interesting: "And for those whom the placement system indicates a need to improve their English skill development prior to entry into English 101, a far greater percentage require writing skill development than require further work on their reading skills."

This isn't very surprising. The high schools have a four period block schedule. A real world average of about 33 students times four eighty minute classes means 132 students. A two page writing assignment turns into 264 pages for a teacher to review. A five page paper would be 660 pages. Perhaps that is why a Hopwood teacher recently wrote a letter to the editor requesting help on this from other language arts teachers in the same boat. The simple fact is no one can do those in depth writing reviews more than once or twice per quarter, especially considering the no preparation time and wildly disparate skill levels in the classroom that are a fact of life in the public schools. In each class there is probably a minimum of two students who should be in an ESL class because they have absolutely no understanding of basic English. PSS has no ability to implement these classes because they lack the classroom space and the staff. It also just doesn't seem to be a priority.

Beyond that, while the local government has not funded education properly, an even bigger problem is that many parents have not instilled enough focus, will and urgency on their children to get that bachelor's degree, which is the admissions ticket for any serious hope at a decent middle class lifestyle. During my four years teaching seniors, I was staggered by the frequency that some of my best students told me their parents flat out told them not to leave the island to go to college. As expensive as college is these days, and it's astronomical, not going or taking the slow route is far more expensive. Median U.S. weekly earnings for a college graduate age 25 and older are $962. For a high school graduate the number is $595. That means it costs $19,084 per year not to have finished college in median earnings differential. That number might be even more dramatic in the CNMI. Very few students here avail themselves of federal financial aid loans that are easy to get, have low interest rates and flexible repayment schedules and instead hold out hope for the scarce "free college money," try the slow way by working low wage jobs to finance the degree or worst of all, "take a year off." That year costs a lot, and the longer it takes the student to get that four year degree, the more it costs in foregone potential earnings. Many other parents encourage direct military enlistment instead of going immediately to a four year college, joining college ROTC, entering the military with a degree as an officer and having far greater career and earning possibilities in the military while still receiving the college financial benefits the military offers, not to mention all that is offered by the college experience.

The CNMI is in a well documented financial crisis. There seems to be little will among our leaders to make hard choices. The temptation is going to be to continue to give short shrift to education as educational benefits are far off and the need to keep voters employed is immediate. Going that route would be a mistake. To obtain a college degree and to achieve a high level of intellectual ability should be a paramount skill and value we instill in our children. We should not look to diminish college standards because we are too cheap to do what we should be doing for the schools.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

A conversation with Dr. Edgar Tudor, MV 22

Dr. Edgar Tudor has been a private care veterinarian in Saipan for seven years and is the owner of Paradise Island Animal Hospital. He spent time as a boy living in various Micronesian Islands, though not in the CNMI. His time in this region and a long career in rural veterinary practice influenced his decision to set up his practice in Saipan. Dr. Tudor also served in Vietnam as a member of the U.S. Marine Corps. In this conversation he offered some candid comments on the state of pet care in the CNMI, the importance of preventative care, the costs involved with those pursuits and other issues.

JCT: What are some of the unique issues and problems pets and their owners face in the CNMI?

ET: The main challenge we face in the CNMI is that most of the people out here have grown up without the services of a small animal veterinarian. Because of this, many people here honestly have no idea what their responsibilities are to their pets. It's as simple as that. Keep in mind this is how I grew up.

JCT: If I am a pet owner with a limited budget like a lot of people here, what are the most important and cost effective things I can do to give my pet a better quality of life?

ET: The very simple answer is to remember that owning a pet is an option. No one forces you to have a pet. Taking care of that pet is not an option, it's an obligation not only to the pet, but to your family, your neighbors and your community. God gave us dominion over the animals and this means he gave us responsibility for their care. When we run into problems with this is when we try to sidestep our responsibility and make someone else responsible for our lives, or pets, as the case may be. So if you're truly unable to care for a pet, don't get one in the first place. It only leads to headaches, heartaches, and very bad feelings of guilt. Once you choose to bring a pet into your home and your heart, you need to jealously guard that pet from disease and this means preventative health care. It costs little to prevent disease, and much to treat the same disease, not to mention the emotional toll that a sick pet takes on the family. Before you get a pet, call the veterinarian and get an idea of what the likely cost will be. My wife Susan wants me to write an article titled, "How much does a FREE puppy cost?" Good point.

JCT: What advice would you offer the local government to deal with the problem of the large stray dog population on island? Also, do you have any thoughts on the anti-animal cruelty bill that seems to be languishing in the legislature?

ET: Very simple, enforce the laws that are already on the books. Prosecute those that steal and abuse pets. I know of no society that turns a blind eye to theft or destruction of private property, even if it's a dog or a cat. Enforce the laws equitably. More laws isn't the answer to unenforced laws. There are already an abundance of applicable laws that could be enforced but aren't. When the people of Saipan want an anti-cruelty law they'll pass one, but in the meantime, enforce the laws that are already on the books.

JCT: If the animal shelter is actually built, are there dangers that the dogs living in close contact could pass disease to each other, and if so, how can that be prevented?

ET: Very good question. This is my greatest fear if a shelter is forced through before the government is truly committed to its upkeep. Shelters tend to become cesspools of disease if not properly managed, and I see little commitment on anyone's part to actually run a shelter the way it should be run. Besides that, Saipan already has a shelter. It's called Paradise Island Animal Hospital , and it costs the government of Saipan, and the people of Saipan, nothing to run it. It is financed by those that bring in their pets for care, that is, those that do, not just complain. Not many in the government know about it precisely because it costs them nothing, and it doesn't show up on anyone's budget -- except mine.

JCT: Please explain why spaying and neutering is important, and is there a way with medical advancements that the indigent people here would be able to do this in a cost effective fashion that might even help diminish the large stray population?

ET: Spaying for female dogs and neutering for male dogs is part of preventative medicine. Spaying prevents breast cancer, uterine infections and prevents unwanted puppies and kittens. It also keeps us from losing our favorite pets during the birthing process, which happens quite a bit on Saipan to non-spayed females. Neutered male dogs tend to stay home, tend not to get hit by cars and get injured in dog fights, which keeps the pets healthier and the owners happier because they aren't spending money they don't have. Spayed and neutered dogs also tend to live much, much longer with a better quality of life than their non-spayed and non-neutered cousins because of the above. We spayed more dogs and cats last year than in any previous year -- all without the aid of subsidies. We have expanded the services offered by Paradise Island Animal Hospital way beyond what it was when I got here and this has been based purely on demand for more and better services by my clientele.

The best way for me to save people money is to stress preventative care, not to provide cheap, ineffective care. If the dogs and cats are vaccinated, they don't get sick so the owner doesn't have to worry about not having enough money for the treatment. If the dog or cat is examined once a year and checked for parasites and other problems, any health challenges that are found can be caught earlier and treated easier and cheaper than by waiting until the pet is sick. People know that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. What they don't know is that an ounce of prevention is lighter than a feather, while a pound of cure can be very heavy to bear.

JCT: What is it like to be the vet, in terms of the emotional highs and lows, of a place with an animal population in such distress?

ET: Relative to "an animal population in distress," I don't see that. I've seen nothing but positive change in the seven years I've been here. It is a daily improvement and that keeps me high on what is happening on Saipan. When I got here the best pet owners were the mainlanders with the "locals" barely showing up on the radar screen. What a lot of people didn't know however, was how much these people wanted good veterinary care for their pets. Now the best pet owners are my Chamorro and Carolinian clients, followed closely by the Japanese and then the mainlanders. People here don't necessarily do as much prevention as I would like, but they never give up on their pets when they bring them in for care. In that respect it's much more rewarding practicing out here than on the mainland. People are gradually learning about the benefits of preventative health care for their pets. People out here love and care for their pets the same as on the mainland. The ugly story that "locals" don't take care of their pets is just not true. The numbers of neglected pets per capita on the mainland is much higher than out there. On the mainland, the local animal control keeps unwanted pets off the streets and puts them to death to accomplish this. We don't have this option on Saipan, so when you look at the number of strays vs. the numbers that would be running loose on the mainland without animal control continually removing them, we are doing much better out here than they are on the mainland. Our problems are just more visible. Millions of dogs and cats are put to sleep every year on the mainland due to rampant neglect of pets. How can we think that we are qualified to lecture anyone else on how to take care of their pets when we can't manage it in our own country?

People on Saipan want better care for their pets, not cheaper, lower quality care. Jesus made the comment that "The poor will always be among us". Our benchmark should not be the poor, or neglectful pet owners for they will always be among us. Let's benchmark our efforts based on the behavior of the responsible pet owners. This number is growing rapidly on Saipan and it has little to do with financial ability. To be sure, we will never be totally free of stray dogs and cats, and this is where the local government will need to step up at some point with a leash law (already on the books but unenforced) and a decent shelter (already on the books but not provided), but not before the commitment is there. Saipan can become a model for good pet ownership throughout Micronesia with very little effort.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

We print what people tell us, MV 21

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

There is an old saying in journalism that notes, "We don't print the truth, we print what people tell us." Nowhere was that on greater display than in the local media over the last few weeks.

Last week a story in the Saipan Tribune offered the headline: "Wage hikes harmful to NMI." The rest of the story followed that line completely, noting that a "U.S. Labor report said that raising the local minimum wage to the federal level would have adverse impacts on employment and lead to additional population declines in the Commonwealth."

Quoting press releases and writing one source stories with cherry picked report quotes from a local administration hell bent on keeping its poorest citizens poor is easy. Taking the time to read the actual report to get the full story and canvassing the community to get a broad range of opinion is harder.

What was completely omitted from the news was this caveat from the actual report about the recently enacted wage hike: "The Department’s research was limited by two significant factors: 1. Short Time Frame. The reporting time-frame specified in the legislation – no later than 8 months from the date of enactment (May 25, 2007) – did not provide sufficient time to observe actual effects of the minimum wage increases. The period following the initial increase was too short for significant observable effects to materialize. Adjustments of employment arrangements and of patterns of living standards typically do not occur instantaneously following a change in a key economic parameter. Immediate changes may be too small in scale to observe, and it may require the passage of many months before cumulative effects become large enough to observe."

Translated into simpler English, this statement above is code from academics to other academics that means the report does not have any reliable data, is speculation, has no merit, but it was requested by their bosses so they have to come up with something -- and please don't slam our lame research in any academic journals because we need to get a professorship somewhere when Bush leaves office next January.

This same story states, "Increasing the CNMI wage to $7.25 an hour, the report said, is comparable to raising the U.S. minimum wage to $16.50 an hour. No further explanation is given, notably this part from the report: "The scheduled increase in the minimum wage to $7.25 (by 2015) will likely affect at least 75 percent of wage and salary workers in the CNMI. By comparison, in order to directly affect 75 percent of U.S. hourly workers, the minimum wage would need to be raised to $16.50, the 75th percentile mark for wage and salary workers who are paid hourly rates."

All that means is most everyone here in the private sector makes meager wages. To affect 75 percent of the the U.S. population, the minimum wage would have to go to $16.50 because people in the mainland make so much more than us now. We're also talking about 2015. That statistic is hardly an argument against the increased minimum wage, but it sure looked like it.

Economics is hardly an exact science, so without data, these Bush Administration folks followed the usual Right Wing party line, which is to support anything that aids big business to the detriment of the working poor. Remember, this is an administration that kept its surgeon general from giving his honest opinion on stem cell research, tried to muzzle its top climatologist from speaking out on global warming and amplified sketchy intelligence in a State of the Union address to create an atmosphere for war. I'm sure the message came across to the economists who wrote this report to follow traditional Right Wing economic dogma about wages. Blogger Ken Phillips provides an excellent, detailed critique of the report at http://www.sosaipan.blogspot.com/.

The lack of the complete story wasn't the only lousy reporting by this reporter, Agnes Donato, who did a much better job than this paper's reporter on the federalization rally a few weeks ago. Continuing the one source, press release format in a separate story, she quoted the governor's public information officer Charles P. Reyes, Jr. as saying: “Just about everybody is in agreement that the Commonwealth cannot sustain additional increases to the minimum wage. We will do everything in our power to communicate this message to the U.S. Congress." Nowhere in the story was another viewpoint presented.

Really. Just about everybody. The local people not in the government bureaucracy making $3.55 are satisfied with those wages and don't want a raise? Where was Taotao Tano Greg Cruz's voice, a voice we hear daily and even discussing things like dentistry and medicine, who I presumed was the person who spoke up for the average working local?

Not once in five years of reading papers and discussing these types of issues with students and their parents did I hear anyone oppose a higher minimum wage. I can't recall hearing anyone not in the government leadership or the business community oppose a higher minimum wage. Some in the business community even acknowledge the shame of our wages. In fact, I would say most everyone not in the government leadership or business ownership community supports the higher minimum wage. Any reporter who walks around Kobler, San Antonio, Dandan or elsewhere would find out pretty quickly that it isn't so unanimous, but those folks don't write many press releases.

Real journalism is hard. It requires research and work. Writing one source stories from a press release from an administration that didn't win the most votes in Saipan while barely getting elected at all and whose party was massacred in the last election is easy and not very good.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

A Magical Saipan Experience, MV 20

A few weeks ago I had one of those magical Saipan experiences. I made my first hike to Forbidden Island. This memory sits in stark contrast with this other idea I'm having about who is going to come see this beauty we have when word spreads about the violent attacks on tourists that are becoming a common headline.

First, the good news. I don't always appreciate how unique the landscape here is and how much beauty there is to see if I put the effort in to seek it out. Sometimes this place is so gorgeous that I can just step onto my balcony and see beauty in the spectacular sky above me -- all without much effort. This hike made me think of how long I've been here and not seen this amazing vista and how it should be trumpeted to all our visitors.

I'm definitely not in great physical shape. I'm on the wrong side of thirty with that train heading toward forty, but I'm not broken down enough just yet to turn down the invite from some friends who are trying to make a Forbidden Island hike a New Year's Day tradition. I brought my ten year old son on the hike, and safe to say it was a lot easier for him than me. I took the slow and safe route down, as I had no eagerness for any damaged body parts, and I wanted to appreciate nature and the beauty that was all around while avoiding a heart attack.

Upon arrival after the steep climb down, it didn't take me long to enjoy that crystal pool of blue water, which feels all the more relaxing after the journey down. There was no shortage of colorful fish to be seen through my mask, though I remained aware that there was indeed a bit of ocean current. Mindful of the deaths of some Korean hikers a few months back, I kept my distance from any cliff lines or anywhere a wave could sweep in.

After that swim and some snacks, we went to check out the Forbidden Grotto, which looks a lot like the famous Blue Grotto in Marpi only with a much lower roof and much smaller. A light shines in that creates a near mystical, other world, ethereal scene. A pinkish rock sits in contrasts to the various shades of blue accented by the changing angle of the sun's rays over the clear water.

Near the Forbidden Grotto is a half water filled cave system, not particularly deep, with a breathable surface. The water is perfectly still inside, at least when we were there. There are many unusual rock formations with the usual diversity of color and shape found in most caves. An oblong triangle gape in the cave lets a swimmer look out at the crashing waves and ocean. Outside this lookout is a ledge where some people lost their lives, so it was not a place I was eager to go out and explore. Saipan is an island that requires caution, a lesson I learned with two near death experiences in my first six months on island. I have had none of those problems since I learned that scary point.

Forbidden Island offers the type of scenery we must amplify and highlight. A small percentage of tourists ever make it out there. Some of that is due to the fact that it is a bit physically taxing I'm sure, but it is still quite a place to see and it should be seen -- ideally on guided tours.

In contrast, with the barrage of bad news that seems normal for this place these days, I'm not sure people quite understand that this recent series of violent attacks on tourists have the potential to be cataclysmic and completely destroy our tourism industry worse than any JAL pullout -- quickly. The CNMI doesn't have a reputation for being particularly exotic or high end, but it does have the reputation for being safe. In no time in this age of rapidly spreading internet information, that reputation can change and a country like Japan that has an extremely low violent crime rate simple won't tolerate it. Already a Japanese blog is spreading the word that the Eagle Rays are no longer to be found in Eagle Ray City. A law was recently passed to protect the Eagle Rays after several reported poaching incidents. These are man made actions in which we are doing harm to ourselves.

Nature has given us a beautiful island we should boast about, enjoy and be proud of, but it won't take too many greedy criminals to destroy this gift we've been given. We should get out and take advantage of the beauty around us, and at the same time, we should come down hard on those people trying to damage what we have been given.

Casting the lure, MV 19

There were a lot of things I thought quirky about the anti-federalization rally held over the weekend. The tone at first was typical of Greg Cruz, which was to make little practical sense and imbue the message with a dash of racism against contract workers. "The peaceful rally will follow the political activism of the CNMI's nonresident guest worker population clamoring for federalization to secure improved immigration status, " Cruz's first description noted. When more respectable people took part in the rally, the tone became nicer with this statement being issued: “we do not oppose any national group from seeking U.S. citizenship." Sure you don't. The one thing accomplished by the thousands of dollars in lobbyist fees recently spent by the broke government was the killing of the provision to upgrade the immigration status of long time guest workers.

First, how absurd is it in an age of global warming and a war based on fossil fuels, which are now up around $4.00 per gallon, to have a car rally. What kind of message does that send? It's also counterproductive in that it discourages those people without cars. It would be so much physically healthier and democratic to have people out walking while holding placards and actually saying what they want to say without being filtered through Cruz. The car rally idea might have been hatched to make the event look larger than it really was. The Tribune had the number at 150. The Variety quoted Cruz as saying the number was in the thousands. Several bloggers disputed Cruz’s numbers and were justifiably critical of the Variety going with Cruz's number in its headline rather than giving its own on-scene estimate. Blogger Tamara Hunter said, "I counted exactly 105 cars coming out of fishing basin, plus three police escorts," while fellow blogger Glen Doutrich counted 65 cars.

Regardless of how many participated, other than being against federalization, the message morphed each day. The improved immigration status some people dreaded is out of the bill, but organizers handed out this misleading statement: "We oppose the manner in which the federal government seeks to grant permanent residency and citizenship to aliens/foreign nationals working in the CNMI using out of the ordinary established immigration procedures and channels at the expense of the people of the CNMI by compromising the provisions of self-government found in the Covenant.” Since that immigration provision is out of the bill, what exactly is the point of saying that other than to lure people who don't follow the news closely enough to know it's out of the bill? Who exactly rallies against improved status for their fellow man anyway? The new approach was self government and a fake no representation argument.

Leading up to the rally, there was also this misleading statement from Cruz: "This event is an opportunity for all of our residents to join together against Federalization without representation." Like the phony improved status lure, the no representation lure is another distortion. This bill actually provides representation, and the new representative job pays around $160,000. There will be a mob scene of waving/sign holding politicos clamoring for that position. If representation matters, a logical person should support the federalization bill. This was another method to lure in those who don't follow the news closely.

Finally there is the whole anti-federalization idea that has been ingrained for years. People trumpet the doomsday scenario about how it will lead to the destruction of our economy. Our economy is already destroyed, and the continued total lack of a viable private sector paying living wages won't help revamp it. As long as the local government is allowed to bloat the labor supply, wages will still be stuck at the meager amounts they have been for years.

I spent a weekend in Guam a few months ago, and there were countless times I heard "Hey, Mr. Turbitt." It was ex-students who were now living and working in Guam where they are paid better wages. These young people voted with their feet by leaving the CNMI. More will continue to do so until we have a private sector that will pay them. The local government has failed at that miserably. I doubt federalization can make the situation worse. Don’t be lured in with only half the story.

Even More New Rules for the CNMI, MV 18

It is the new year, so it seems appropriate to bask in the absurdity all around us. Alas, I offer even more new rules for the CNMI.

New Rule. If you let your pre-teen shoot off fireworks over the holidays, you earned a nomination for worst parent of the year regardless of whether junior escaped the event without blowing off his testicles. Kids are supposed to do do stupid things, which are even more prevalent when they are handed over cheaply made explosives. The "pretty colors" aren't worth the price of a couple fingers, not to mention the public nuisance being inflicted. You the parent are supposed to stop your kids from doing these dumb things, not enabling them. Junior is not that far removed from trying to eat bugs and not being able to dress himself. Handing your kids cheap fireworks from China -- a place where people think a good business proposition is borrowing thousands of dollars or several times your net worth from a loan shark to hand over to a recruiter for the right to work for $3.55 in the dying CNMI garment factories -- probably isn't very wise.

New Rule. When boonie dogs are lying in the middle of the street either indifferent to death or actively seeking suicide from the incoming traffic as they are now, it is time to stop talking about it and actually get the dog shelter built. Man's best friend is treated worse here than the Gimp in Pulp Fiction with a resident even opening fire on one like it is a rival rapper, yet the anti-animal cruelty bill and dog shelter languishes like broccoli at a movie theater concession stand. Here is a radical plan, do the job you have the money and have had the time to do.

New Rule. The burgeoning graffiti artists must learn to spell better. It's bad enough juvenile delinquents are tagging the island while others are trying to clean up the place, but the hoodlums can't spell simple three letters words. They're an offensive to English teachers the world over. There is a phrase criminals who can't spell need to learn, and it goes like this: "Would you like fries with that, sir." If and when the graffiti artists are caught, the judge should require remedial English classes after their jail sentence. Ron Hodges can't be the instructor.

New Rule. Stop building office space. Who do you think is moving in here, the Pentagon? Haven't you seen what happens to dormant space at La Fiesta Mall? That albatross around all our necks is as hairy, overgrown and messy as a pack of French travelers stuck for three days in an airport snow storm. Do we really need more office space? The empty space inspires as much investor confidence as CUC.

New Rule. If you are a tourist escaping northeast Asian winter, maybe you should actually embrace the sun you flew hours to feel and not wrap yourself up in enough towels and blankets so you look like you just joined the Taliban. It's called sunbathing, so try taking a little of it in. I wouldn't travel to the Great Wall and put on a blindfold.

New Rule. People driving on Middle Road need to stay in their lane and stop bouncing around like they are playing a real life Frogger video game. The average person here hasn't gotten a brake job since there was a coherent Bush in office, so maybe speeding along and jumping lane to lane isn't such a good idea. This is Saipan, there aren't that many places to go, and there aren't too many urgent meetings to get to, so just chill out there Mario Andretti and let's get home in one piece.

New Rule. Both local newspapers need to see what it is like to publish a paper without the half baked thoughts of Taotao Tano dental adviser Greg Cruz. The local papers are covering this man's scientific take on fluoride in water. Huh? Cruz in general makes as much sense as the black KKK member on the Chapelle show-- a worker's rights advocate fighting tooth and nail for our local government's right to continue to bloat the labor supply and keep his people's pockets emptier than the Paseo De Marianas. And memo to Greg, there is a body that chooses whether Tina Sablan should be one of their leaders, and it's called the voters in Precinct One, not you.


Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thoughts at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

Times Change, so must we, MV 17

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

When I first arrived here I wondered why the CNMI is so strongly in the Republican camp. Historically it was the Democratic Party starting with Franklin Roosevelt and continuing on later with Lyndon Johnson that followed the John Maynard Keynes inspired notion of creating government jobs in the absence of private sector opportunities and set up social welfare programs such as food stamps that so many people here rely upon for important things like eating. D.C. Republicans, on the other hand, have been trying to dismantle these programs for years and have never been sympathetic to the poor in any fashion. This CNMI party preference is especially peculiar because the CNMI has an enormous number of poor people. The last census had that number near fifty percent.

The answer, I'm pretty sure, is that CNMI Republicans have little to do with D.C. Republicans, and for that matter, I'm not sure any of our elected leaders have any political philosophy other than the spoils system of giving public money and government jobs to political supporters. The second reason is that national Republicans have aligned themselves with the Religious Right, and the CNMI has a strong Catholic influence. And reason number three is that the demonized George Miller is a Democrat and he has been made the boogieman for years for his pointed criticisms of the CNMI, and his desire to federalize and reform the excesses in these islands that would necessitate a change in our economic model when we don't have a plan for a new model.

I'm now wondering why so many local people are against federalization of immigration. Put simply, it is this local government that has bloated the labor supply here for years to the point where there is still virtually no private sector paying living wages. I can understand why the Chamber of Commerce and business owners are against federalization as they'll have to pay more for labor, which means less money in their pockets. They are at least acting in their own economic interest. But why would a group like Tao Tao Tano be on the local government's side in an issue like this when this local government has treated people like Greg Cruz so poorly, and will continue to leave locals with only the $3.55 option as the garment factory money to fund the nonsense jobs continues to dry up. If the labor supply weren't bloated, there would be better options than $3.55.

The answer is that the average citizen here is being bamboozled by emotional issues, much like the average person in the mainland votes against their own economic interest because they are blinded by the use of the God, guns and gays non-issue in campaigns. D.C. Republicans have used prayer in school, gay marriage and gun nut pandering to get elected, start wars that drive the price of gas to $4.00, allow HMOs to keep sick people from seeing doctors and cut taxes for mega millionaire CEOs. As this is happening, costs for child care, college tuition and housing continue to skyrocket. But hey, we have a "moral" president that is against gay people kissing, which is more important than the cost of gas, housing, child care and medical care -- at least more important if you're a nitwit that can be easily manipulated by non-issues that don't really impact your life, which sadly makes up a large portion of my fellow Americans.

Same nonsense is going on here. Protect our right to "self government," fight the "federal takeover," "it's colonization" and other loaded terms make it sound like armed vandals are storming Garapan. These tactics tug at people's patriotism and emotions and away from their sense. It's good propaganda and a lot of people are buying it that shouldn't be. The Tao Tao Tano group is posting numerous videos on youtube.com with a generally derisive take on contract workers and federal government officials for their role in the Unity March and the nearly completed federal takeover of immigration. Other end of days proclamations went out for a $.50 cent increase in the minimum wage, normally something positive for the average worker that gets favorable public opinion, yet oddly it was other relatively broke people aghast at this turn of events.

Lost in all this loaded rhetoric is that a federal takeover is good for the average worker because it is the federal government that will actually clamp down on the supply of contract workers, and this reduction in labor supply will drive wages higher and motivate local people to actually work in the private sector, which needs to happen to have a functioning economy. The local government will continue to do what it has always done: Provide a steady stream of contract workers. It's what they've always done and always will do. The old model of using garment factory taxes to finance make work government jobs is broken, and there is no fix for it. There will be less government jobs each year. People will have to turn to the private sector, and who wants to work for CNMI private sector wages -- we know the answer to that and it isn't by and large people with American passports. The CNMI once had an economic model that mostly worked for local people, but it was rightfully derided around the globe for its immorality. That model is forever lost because the local garment factories can't use the U.S. tariff laws to its advantage any longer. The factories are closing and will continue to close. The sweatshops can make their clothes in Vietnam or China cheaper now and not pay a tariff. That's the consumer beloved free trade system, which isn't quite as appealing if you're a worker.

People haven't quite wrapped their heads around the fact that the old way is finished, and it was the tariff law change, not the minimum wage or federalization that ended the old system. Ordinary people are taking their cues from leaders who still seem to think that meager private sector wages using third world labor can still work. The governor went out of his way to malign Interior Deputy David Cohen, and he ignored the Washington Rep., who saw the writing on the wall on this issue. The cheap labor ship has sailed. It's time for everyone to face it and stop blaming contract workers, the federal government and liberal haoles. We need to reinvent ourselves and use what we do have: a beautiful island, strong families, a vibrant history and an American stability near the large, wealthy or growing economies of Japan, Korea and China. We can not put our future in the hands of an unimaginative government leadership that can't adjust to change, not to mention keep the lights on or the hospital stocked with basic supplies and staff. The old model just doesn't work any longer. Times change and so must we.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thought at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

Rota is a great place to chill out, MV 16

Seasoned travelers often cite a lack of other travelers as the standard of purity and desirability in a location. So talk like "Bali was great before all the tourists arrived" becomes typical travel boilerplate. If people really mean it when they cite unspoiled as a draw, then they'd do well to spend time in tranquil Rota as I recently did.
Rota felt calm and relaxing from a Saipan resident's chilled out mindset. For someone from Tokyo or Seoul, it must be an oasis of uniminaginable peacefulness. I've lived, worked or traveled in those bustling cities and firmly believe those overworked people would relish the opportunity to be somewhere without any pollution or traffic lights, and more importantly, few people and beaches all to themselves. To get to the East Coast Korean beaches from Seoul in summer involves hours of traffic to get to a wildly crowded beach where you have enough room to lay out and relax if you fit on a book of postage stamps. Korean beaches in high season are about as comfortable as a intercontinental flight in coach between two flatulent Sumo wrestlers. To our core travel market, Rota should feel like a VIP pass to the Playboy Mansion, not the 200 meter crawl over glass shards they’re used to undergoing in order to cool off and relax.

My friends and I pretty much had the whole Coconut Village to ourselves, which was a clean, nice and reasonably priced lodging site near the Rota swimming hole where I took a late night swim and saw a small meteor shower over a night sky that redefined spectacular.

My primary draw to Rota was the clear, pristine underwater environment, so I hauled my dive gear over and did a few dives and saw what sure looked like the world's largest moray eel. The Rota Hole, the best of the four dives, offered a spectacular backdrop of light and dark through underwater cracks in the earth. The reefs appeared healthy and lightly taxed given the small population and the water warm with its famous visibility indeed a reality. As a diving location, Rota offers three wrecks, as well as walls, drift dives and the aforementioned Rota Hole. If nearby Rota doesn't get some spillover from the lousy yet burgeoning Guam diving market, as well as general Guam tourism, there is a major marketing and advertising debacle going on in a place that seems to be extremely poorly marketed. The recently passed Rota Casino Initiative hopefully won't harm Rota’s prime virtue -- its calmness.

Sandra Atalig, an administrative specialist at the Rota branch of Marianas Visitors Administration, said that island serenity is still the main lure to the island. "We want to promote the tranquility. We want people to enjoy the relaxation. It's about coming here and just relaxing. Tourists are really into exploring the beach side and the friendliness of the people, as well as the peacefulness and lack of traffic. Tourists are not worried about being robbed -- they feel safe." Atalig noted that arrivals have been up slightly of late with the Rota fiesta and triathlon. However, it is hard not to notice that business in Rota is suffering terribly. Abandoned houses and businesses are prevalent. Downtown Songsong makes the Paseo de Marianas look like a Hong Kong shopping district.

I made one other trip to Rota a few years ago when the Attorney General's Cup was held there, and thought the place had a distinct cultural feel to it. All the public events were conducted in both Chamorro and English, which makes the place feel a lot different from Saipan. Rota probably isn't going to attract bacchanalian twentysomethings, but for older travelers who want a place to relax, read, swim, fish, golf and explore the underwater world, Rota is a wonder.

After sitting idle for nearly 18 years, the revolving 360 Restaurant at the Marianas Business Plaza is now operational. I visited Friday night and thought it pretty good. They are also now open for lunch. Associate Manager Rick Jones said the restaurant has gotten good support so far and jogged the memories of patrons who remember going there in the 80s. Jones described the food as "American style with an international flair" and said the investors thought it was a unique business opportunity, noting the 360 Saipan panorama offered to diners. "The view during the day is fantastic. At night you don't see the ocean, but the atmosphere is stylish,” Jones said.

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This column, not necessarily this blog, will go on Christmas break for two weeks. I wish all my readers Happy Holidays.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thought at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.