Sunday, September 23, 2007

Random thoughts on Guam

Putting SPF 50 is like putting a coat of paint on your bald head. It doesn't come off without a lot of effort.

Guam is making the same mistake as us by putting the strip clubs and karaoke bars in the heart of its tourist district. I support naked, writhing women, don't get me wrong, but there is a place for everything. I'll leave that one open ended so people can have their fun in the comments section.

Here is one thing Saipan has done well: Keep the brown tree snake out, as there are very few birds in Guam.

Guam beats us in not having wild dogs every ten feet.

If anyone wants to know where all the Japanese tourists have gone, including the girls in their deliciously slutty attire, I'll save MVA the $200,000 consulting contract for the obvious: They are in Guam. There was a line 20 deep at the convenience store at 11:30 at night on a Thursday for overpriced nonsense. $4.25 for sun chips. I'm still bitter.

Given a little bit better shopping, more and improved restaurants and most of all more flights, we should be able to smoke Guam like a Cuban cigar -- Saipan is simply much nicer than Guam.

Guam schools look more run down and ugly than our schools do, and by all reports are much worse academically and discipline wise than our schools.

Kmart is still Kmart -- cheap crap. I did get a pizza stone and will be inviting friends over for my home made pizza in the not too distant future.

I'll strap my mask on, put in my reg and stick my head face down in the bath tub before I scuba dive in Guam again.

The airport still sucks.
I was listening to Electric Ladyland pool side and it hit me that if Cyn and I have a boy, it must be James Marshall Turbitt. I gave her majority sway if it's a girl, so she agreed.


lil_hammerhead said...

Just to point out some history for you Jeff - The strip clubs (Vikings, Playboy, Oriental and about five to seven others) were situated in Tumon long before its big development. When I say long before, I remember these places back in the early 80's - 25 years ago.

glend558 said...

Hammer: You say you remember 25 years ago?
You're busted! Your profile says you're 23????

The Saipan Blogger アンジェロ・ビラゴメズ said...

I agree. They shouldn't be in tourist center. They should be on Brad's lap.

I still like Wolfhunter Turbitt.

The Saipan Blogger アンジェロ・ビラゴメズ said...

Why do I instantly think of Monica Lewinsky when I see the words, "cuban cigar?"

Anonymous said...

A little bit better shopping?
C'mon ALOT better shopping.
Saipan is a little bit nicer but
Guam has ALOT more to offer