Congratulations Brad and Kathy

One of the downsides to living all over the world is that the people you like most tend to be spread all over the world. It can be nice when you travel and get to see old friends. My buddy Brad Ruszala, frequent target of chop busting on this blog, got hitched yesterday to the lovely Kathy. Sadly I could not make it all the way out to Saipan, but I'm thrilled to death for the both of them and hope they enjoyed my internet based video chop busting.

Caption Contest Four

The only downside to my buddy Brad Ruszala being happily involved with a wonderful young woman in Kathy is that I have to feel a bit guilty about caption contest four, so this is purely in jest. My entry is below. Feel free to chime in.
Brad Ruszala runs out of women to woo in Saipan, and moves on to new species.

Play Buffet debuts March 7

I wrote this story for Friday's Marianas Variety.

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

Last year the public jammed the American Memorial Park for the original theater production "In Transit," which united the disparate stories of several individuals "stuck in an airport" into a common theme. The public's reaction was so positive that the company responsible for that production, the Voices of the Marianas, put together another incarnation of original theater on a similar theme. The new production is called The Play Buffet: A Little Something for Everyone's Taste, and it debuts Friday, March 7 at 7 p.m. in the American Memorial Park with followup performances March 8, 13 and 14.

The cast includes a list of veteran actors, including two drama educators in Harold Easton and Nahal Navidar, as well as high school students and general island gadflies such as Donald Cohen, Brad Ruszala, Elizabeth Henke, Susan Fishman, Richard Hamilton and others.

Like its precursor, the new play is a variety of original stories. “Some are taken from people's real lives, some from their imagination,” said producer and director Barbara Sher. "The idea is to have original theater in which people from different cultures, walks of life and ages can have an opportunity to tell their stories. In the show we have ten pieces that run the gamut from a Hollywood 40's type piece to very personal epiphanies. As I said, a little something for everyone. It's about life. That's why we called it the Play Buffet because life is a buffet, the good, the funny and the yucky. We hope to entertain, enlighten and delight our audience and perhaps inspire them to want to express their voice for the next show."

For Navidar, an accomplished actress with a degree in theater and English who has a piece about discovery of self and God in this play, theater is a means of expression. "Theater satisfies my soul. For the community and the world at large, theater is one of the most effective ways to make people question, and perhaps recognize, a piece of themselves in the characters and situations presented. Barbara Sher's passion for this project is contagious and I love working with her."

PTI Marketing Associate Brad Ruszala isn't a theater veteran exactly, but his interest in the craft became reignited when he played Patrick in "110 Flights" opposite Navidar last year. "I became interested in live theater as a senior in high school when I was cast in a musical. I've always wanted to participate in on-stage productions ever since. This play is special because it will give the audience an intimate view into the real lives of some of the performers. I was moved watching my friends and neighbors display their creativity in rehearsal. It'll definitely be a treat for everyone who comes to watch the show. It gives me the opportunity to get on stage and have a little fun acting out a part. It's a wonderful opportunity to enjoy another aspect of our culturally diverse community and the play offers another avenue to making new friends on Saipan."

Tickets are available for $5 from cast members, at the door or inquire via email at barbara.sher@gmail.com.

A great weekend full of talking, relaxing and diving

I had a very good weekend. Friday night I put together a group of five hyper-opinionated writers: Brad Ruszala, Zaldy Dandan, Ken Phillips, Angelo Villagomez and Bruce Bateman -- as well as one unabashed and equally opinionated Republican lawyer in Mike Ernest -- for a free wheeling four hour discussion over alcohol on all kinds of world matters from abortion to local politics to sports to Iraq and back again. Bruce pushed his bed time to almost 9. That is indeed p.m. Toward the end of the night there was one funny moment, one of many truly, when we realized that 3/4 of this remaining cabal had been called "racist" by Jane Mack and the fourth, Mike Ernest, had been called "a shit" by her. The overall discussion was open, honest, from all over the political spectrum, most decidedly not just small talk and I think everyone had a good time. I certainly hope and plan to do it again.

On Saturday, I spent the afternoon at the Mandi Spa with my very pregnant wife. We now have less than two months to go in this new baby production, though I really should say she, since Cynthia is most definitely the star of that show. I'm the assistant coach at best I suppose, but I will try to model myself on Winston Wolf and "fix problems." As I mentioned in my Best of Saipan post, Mandi Spa is the nicest, most underutilized location on the island. Drinking white wine in a hot tub with that view for the price I paid is pretty good living. I joined up again with the spa on the teacher's plan, and it has been a joy -- especially since I hadn't been doing any diving yet this year, which leads me to Sunday.

I hopped on the Saipan Aquajet with my buddy Brad Derksen and we dove the Shipwreck and Ice Cream. Conditions on the north side of the island are still a little rough and there are few if any trips available there until April, but this was a nice, easy relaxing morning dive, and one of the great things about living in Saipan. The joys of this kind of morning I tried to capture in this post.

I saw three Eagle Rays and one very active eel roaming around. I also saw a bunch of very large fish, as well as the usual bounty of small and colorful fish. The clearing of my head during these dives gave me two ideas for books I'm interested in writing. That idea circulating in my head may very well be my project for next year, and it will be another thing I've wanted to do for a while, but have put off. This play in two weeks, and the comedy show perhaps a month later being two others. I also even came up with a possible business to put up here. Every year I've been here there has been a big project. The first was just living on a tropical island and getting acquainted. Years two and three were working on my master's and getting married. Years four and five dealt with getting Cynthia's green card, adopting kids and having my own child. Every year has integrated travel, writing and meeting new and interesting people. It was a great day and a great weekend.

Blogger to blogger assistance for live theater

Two weeks from Friday, March 7, is the opening of the Play Buffet in the American Memorial Theater in the Park. Nahal Navidar, an amazing actress, is in it. Brad Ruszala has a part, I have a piece, as do a bunch of other cool people. To help promote live theater on the islands, I'd appreciate it if my fellow bloggers would post this image on their blogs until we conclude the run in three weeks .
In other theater news from Saipan Bev, Real Christian Theater will be putting on a dinner show called The Mystery of the Kiss Kiss Diamond. It will be a one time performance on Sunday, March 9. The time will be announced later. The tickets are $15 for adults.

Blog reviews

Here are the five blogs I will review, as per Angelo's request, and I will say what I think is good and bad about them. Time, will, the factor of a small island and the conservativeness of most people getting older and afraid to upset anyone keeps most blogs either short lived or dull.

Angelo's Saipan Blog - Angelo takes a lot of guff, probably because he's so ubiquitous I suppose, but I don't think he is very controversial. He's not all that political, and a lot of people don't get his humor. It's really a northeastern style, so I get it. He has great pictures, videos and I like his humor. He can write well. Not all his topics are up my alley, but some are. I find the celebrity porn aspect annoying, and I wish he'd censor himself less, but he has his reasons.

Ken's SOS Saipan - I thought he was one of the best, and then he disappeared for a long time. I'm surprised he's back and hope he stays. He's bright, knows how to write and chooses important topics.

Bruce's Saipanuvian - I almost never agree with Bruce, and he puts very minimal effort into his blog, but I like to read his nutty opinions. As I've said before, column Bruce can seem like a dickweed, but the real Bruce is a great guy and a good friend.

Matt Taibbi is a journalist for Rolling Stone and one of my heroes. He is doing what I hoped I'd be doing if I stayed in journalism full time. He has been on Bill Maher's show of late, and that is like a Lennon/McCartney combination.

Marianas Dive - This isn't a blog exactly, and even with 10-15 contributors, it's light on content and dead and/or dull for stretches at a time, but I like diving and there are some things of interest here from time to time.

Honorable mention to Brad Ruszala not for his blog, but for his comments on other people's blogs, which he has always put more effort into than his own blog.

I'll tag Galvin, Cinta and Mike Tripp, three people who have a lot to offer the community and should post more.

Quote of the day

This had to be the funniest quote of the day.

"Odd relationship with bradinthesand, whom he repeatedly links with NAMBLA (see here and here)."
- Steve Woodruff

It's not all that odd really. Brad is one of my oldest and closest friends on island. What better way to show brotherhood than to publicize the link between Brad and the North American Man Boy Love Association. Doesn't everyone torture their friends like this, or is it just a northeastern thing.

Brokeback my ass

The apocalypse is here

There are things that let me know the world is falling apart that are obvious such as the Bush Administration, karaoke, global warming and the palpable excitement over a Taco Bell in Saipan. Then there are things that make me think humans aren't worth saving anyway, and that could be best demonstrated in Angelo's traffic. A thousand plus hits over an ugly French chick named Laure Manaudou who had a sex tape. How original. And did anyone check the news today. The only thing under heaven and Earth more vapid than Britney Spears is any front page news regarding 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears getting knocked up. Equally horrid are some out of focus titties of 42-year-old ex Chilean beauty queen Cecilia Bolocco. The only thing about Chili I care about is that no one makes a good one here in Saipan.

Amy Polumbo doesn't get enough attention as Miss New Jersey, so she pulls the oldest trick in the bar and kisses a girl or something, or was that Katie Rees. I feel sick that I know this much about this bullshit and that thousands of people are stupid enough to Google this crap.

Haven't we seen enough celebrity sex tapes? Isn't that a bit old? To have a celebrity sex tape don't you have to at least be a celebrity and hot? I'm taking this dispatch from the Saipan Blogger as a sign of the apocalypse because she's not a celebrity and she's not hot, and even if she was, who gives a shit!

"Laure Manaudou is the hottest name on the Internet right now. I had never heard of the girl until I opened up Technorati this morning, but variations of Laure, Manaudou, Manodau, and Manoudou take up 7 of the 10 ten most searched items today."

I've got nothing against sex or naked women. I happen to be a pretty big fan of both. The Internet is awash in these things. Does it really matter that they swam, were among the countless names you can't recall from these dated pageants or are the sister of an unhinged has been who was never really all that great.

If I were going to live vicariously through the sexploits of others, I'd buy Brad Ruszala a beer and let him tell me about his weekend, not Google this shit.

Island Blues and Roman History

I've had the island blues, and for one of the few times, have nothing to say. What I do have to say I'm trying to save for my Wednesday column. Sometimes it is hard to expatiate on island affairs, and to focus on our lousy government, the normal domain of columns, is just too depressing to do regularly.

I'm one of those people who need to get off this rock every six months, and at month four I get real itchy about getting away. I'm there right now. Other than diving Lau Lau today, I haven't done much all long weekend. I did attend Brad Ruszala's 40th Birthday party, and he rigged the game and cost me a phone in the contest. I was in the final three at Hard Rock and my competitors had the answer before I heard Brad's question. My competitors were hot Asian chicks, so I stood no chance. EJ won. So let me say right here: Brad Ruszala sucks. He may have a hot girlfriend and has worked his charms on every hot chick on island, but he sucks, too.

I can't stay hostile against Sand, though. He and I got the band back together for one night at Porky's on Friday. I was once a budding bass player, but could never live up to my hopes and Brad and I had a band, but it did not last beyond a day. Friday was day two. Brad sang Johnnie Be Good, and I did my best on bass. The only time I touch the fabled instrument is when the folks in bars drag me up. Jerry calls me up at Round Two on occasion. I could never quite live up to my own lofty ambitions as a four string axe man, so those days are over.

In this bored and tired funk of late I've been watching the HBO series Rome, which I've always figured I'd like, I'm a Roman history buff, and it has been great. When I was in the states I got a bunch of DVD series of renowned shows I've never seen. Some I'm taking to, some I haven't and others I need more time. I'm not seeing the reputed brilliance of "The Wire" just yet, but I'm only halfway through or less season one. I've not given up yet, but I don't get the fuss so far.

I've caught almost all four years of Entourage over the last couple months. Love the show. I read a quote that says, "Washington is Hollywood for ugly people," and it certainly fits. Hollywood, like Washington, gives the people what they most demand: mind numbing pablum. The folks who make the most sense are marginalized. This is a great show that captures how people are sometimes over rewarded in Hollywood.

I'm about halfway through season one of Rome. Love it. Casesar was a fascinating character. Shakespeare plays a big part in his renown, but his military prowess was obvious. To the right is a picture of where his body was cremated in the Roman Forum. Dead bodies never came there for fear of disease, but Caesar's was. If you look closely, you can see that 2,000 years later, some people are putting flowers at Caesar's grave site.

One thing that is interesting that people might not get. The Romans had been crucifying people for years. Jesus was not the first or anything. One Crucifixion artifact was actually found. The nails went through the heel bone and the wrist, which is not what those Renaissance pictures suggest. There is a picture of the bone to the left.

"The remains were found accidentally in an ossuary with the crucified man’s name on it, 'Yehohanan, the son of Hagakol'. The ossuary contained a heel with a nail driven through its side, indicating that the heels may have been nailed to the sides of the tree (one on the left side, one on the right side, and not with both feet together in front). The nail had olive wood on it indicating that he was crucified on a cross made of olivewood or on an olive tree. Since olive trees are not very tall, this would suggest that the condemned was crucified at eye level. Additionally, the piece of olive wood was located between the heel and the head of the nail, presumably to keep the condemned from freeing his foot by sliding it over the nail. His legs were found broken. (This is consistent with accounts of the execution of two thieves in the Gospel of St. John 19:31.) It is thought that since in Roman times iron was expensive, the nails were removed from the dead body to cut the costs, which would help to explain why only one has been found, as the back of the nail was bent in such a way that it couldn't be removed."

Also, there is also one piece of archaeological evidence for Pontius Pilate. This limestone block discovered in 1961 with Pilate's tribute in Latin to Emperor Tiberius, who was emperor at the time of the crucifixtion The words [...]TIVS PILATV[...] can be seen on the second line. This piece was discovered in 1961 in the Roman theatre at Caesarea Maritima, the capital of the province of Iudaea, bearing a damaged dedication by Pilate of a Tiberieum.[5] This dedication states that he was [...]ECTVS IUDA[...] (usually read as praefectus iudaeae), that is, prefect/governor of Iudaea. The early governors of Iudaea were of prefect rank, the later were of procurator rank, beginning with Cuspius Fadus in 44. The inscription is currently housed in the Israel Museum in Jerusalem, where its Inventory number is AE 1963 no. 104. Dated to 26–37, it was discovered in Caesarea (Israel) by a group led by Antonio Frova.

Scenes from Halloween

Somewhere in that picture is an edgy young lady, we hope don't know yet, just dying to get out and ridicule the Right Wing.

Here is Rose in the clutches of Glen D having flashbacks to that triggerfish attack.

The Boycott of Porky's isn't going well with several bloggers out opposing the forces of douchebaggery, but Bruce Bateman says bring it on regarding something that women the world over have been boycotting since time immemorial.

Daniel LaRusso was hiding out from Kobra Kai at Porky's bar.

Angelo Villagomez, sans EJ, was out at Porky's last night. A little picture on picture action with the Saipan blogger doing a clean up of Porky's

A couple of pretty cute monsters in Alex and Carl.

George Costanza, Bill Bellicheck and Angelo Villagomez

If you want to give Angelo a bunch of shit, such as people are doing here, and here and somewhat deservedly here, I have a better reason: He confessed to using a proxy server to try to cheat his way to victory in my Best Blog Poll. Angelo you Bill Bellicheckian SOB. I haven't been this not surprised since George Costanza admitted to cheating his way to victory in the masturbation contest on the series finale of Seinfeld. Angelo made this revelation in a comment today about someone who tried to vote like eight times for one candidate in his CNMI election poll, which leads me to another thing. These Vizu polls are not scientific and have no merit. They exist for one reason: Ridicule of Brad Ruszala.

New play on island

The Fabulous Invalid Theatre Company will present a one night showing of 110 Flights, written by Nahal Navidar. 110 Flights is a two person play toiling back and forth between two drastically different perspectives after September 11th. To call it a play about 9/11 would be inaccurate. It's a play about a very tender human relationship tarnished by the tragedies of 9/11. Shahla (an Iranian-American psychology graduate student) is married to Patrick (an Irish-American NYC cop). The play opens as Patrick and Shahla are planning for a very happy future: having babies, planning new careers and so on. When Patrick's best friend Evan dies in the attacks on 9/11, their world is turned upside down. Shahla has experienced grief on this level before having grown up in the Iran Iraq war. Patrick, however, has never experienced this kind of loss and doesn't know how to deal with his pain. He begins to despise Middle Eastern people and place all blame for his grief on them. As the play unfolds, Patrick falls deeper and deeper into his solace leaving Shahla without any idea of how to help him. Cast: Shahla-Nahal Navidar Patrick-Brad Ruszala. Show info: Saturday September 29 2007 @ 7PM American Memorial Park AuditoriumTickets $5 Email Fabulousinvalidtc@hotmail.com

See you at the Bee

Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today, I consider myself, the luckiest man, whoever ate... a Yum with Cheese. I may have had a tough break by missing out on a date with Boni, but I have an awful lot to live for, a trip to Jolibee with EJ, Marianas Life, Bev, CNMI Blogger, Deece, Melissa, Saipan Writer and Shazam. Beneath that Bee costume, I will indeed be going commando, but before that, I will be marinating my entire body...with twelve Swirlybitz Sundaes, only 22 pesos each. So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for.

When we was Fab and Ruszala like

Ok, given Brad's picture show when I had something slightly resembling hair, which should illustrate why I buzz it off completely, I'll open myself to scorn and ridicule and show what I looked like with hair in my peak physical condition as a high school senior in 1989/90. The hair went very young, and it wasn't a good feeling. Only when I buzzed it completely did I stop worrying about it. I stopped regular weight training and regular sports activity long ago - obviously. I do try to walk and swim and occasionally shoot hoops. I've had one or two renaissance periods of working out with some intensity, but never enough to equal Brad's Metrosexual intensity, and without the motivation of the potential for new women, unless my wife dumps me, I'll probably never get there again. This photo was taken after a summer of intense training, and it is indeed quite legitimate. Remember I do have feelings, and dis dog bites back. I already said on the Beach Boy's Blog I will make no distinction between Brad Ruszala and those who harbor Brad Ruszalas. You're either with us or with Jolibee's Playmate of the Month.