Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Angelo Villagomez and Bruce Bateman, the Lennon/McCartney of the Saipan Tribune


According to Middle Road, Angelo Villagomez is about to become a Saipan Tribune columnist. First he joined a secret satanic pact with the world's most evil woman, Katherine Harris, see below, then he joined a Neo-Nazi fraternity, now he is going to team up with his co-worker Bruce Bateman, sometimes referred to as the drunken face of evil or the world's worst person, to prove Ronald Reagan's adage that trees cause pollution and ketchup is a vegetable. Congratulations Angelo, and in the immortal words of non-Academy Award winning actor Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago, "I must break you!"

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol!

It's the final countdown!!!! (rocky music, i hope i'm right with that)

Bruce A. Bateman said...

That has a nice ring to it -- Lennon and McCartney --

What, ketchup is not a vegetable?

Angelo Villagomez said...

No, but chicken kelaguen is.

SteeleOnSaipan said...

They're giving out news columns nowadays like banks hand out VP titles. Don't try the local newsroom copy-and-paste pills, they say they're addicting and they'll bring you down man!

Mike Ernest said...

Many think that tomatoes are a fruit; and maybe they are, since they have seeds and all, but if I remember correctly, there's an old Supreme Court case that said that tomatoes are veggies.

So, if a tomato is a veggie, then a crushed tomato would also be a veggie.

So, yes, one could argue that ketchup counted as a serving of vegetable, depending on how much tomato was in it.

But I could be wrong.

Jeff said...

Why would the Supreme Court rule on such a thing?

Would you go to court with that argument Mike?

Would you want your kids eating ketchup as a vegetable?

One could argue lots of things, but one also could and should be laughed at.

Anonymous said...

Actually, ketchup has LOTS more veggie nutrients than do the french fries it is put on. Last I knew, potatoes were counted as a veggie. The sugar in the ketchup gives cause for pause, but it would be healthier to eat the ketchup and forget about the fries. Yup, I would let my kids eat ketchup as a veggie any day, if it didn't include fries with it. Well, it does depend a bit on the quality and actual ingredients in the specific ketchup.....

Jeff said...

Half of Angelo's work is done for him!

Mike Ernest said...

I'll try and dig up the case and will email it to you if I find it.

Yes, I would go to court and argue that, if it were in the best interest of my client.

Words like "fruit" and "vegetable" have lots of different meanings. To a scientist/botanist, they mean one thing, but to other (presumably) smart people, they mean different things. Potato a vegetable? I thought it was a tuber. Who is right? Both? Neither? There are definitions, and there are "Legal" definitions.

I remember a case from law school where the central question that needed to be decided was "What is a chicken?"

No joke.

Anonymous said...

An ongoing federal case in the mainland concerns whether poultry (chicken and turkeys) fall into the definition of "livestock," thus gaining them the protections of statutory humane slaughter provisions.