Tuesday, November 27, 2007

New Rule Subway Restaurant

New Rule. Subway Restaurant must stop asking me if I want a meal with my sandwich. Your sub par sandwich is my revolting meal. I don't need to gorge myself on 24 ounces of sugar water and a cookie to complete this horrid experience. Why not just ask me if I would like my feet amputated or if I want a side order of "insulin plunger?" I guarantee Jarred wasn't making it a meal. It's upsetting enough that I eat that disgusting slop once a week because it is a bit less awful than the high school cafeteria at six times the price, but the fiftieth "do I want a meal" inquiry, like an email about an ex-girlfriend who drops twenty pounds and gets a boob job, only reminds me that I left good sandwiches 10,000 miles away in New Jersey and I'm stuck with the horror that is Saipan Subway.


Bruce A. Bateman said...

Wouldn't it be nice to walk into a Philadelphia (or any cosmopolitan city) deli and get a grade 1 sandwich/hogie/torpedo/submarine/hero? There is certainly nothing here that compares.

But hey, on the bright side, which deli could you walk into and get a nice slice of whole roasted suckling pig...or a platter of poki?

One other thing, you must go to Subway frequently enough to have decoded what the staff actually says. The couple of times I went there the girl behind the counter speeled off a torrent of heavily acented verbage obviously memorized off a cue card using the 'no inflection' style of robot speaking. I couldn't tell what the heck she was saying. When she asked me if I wanted a 'meal' I said no thanks and left.

::spaceboy:: said...

I always stuck with a Japanese-style sandwich and soup from Ebisuya, much tastier and more filling than Subway - and cheaper too.