Lots of new comedy dates

I'm having a blast finding my way in the Phoenix local comedy scene. I've done five sets thus far. Only one was a disaster, but I got a bit I liked out of that unpleasant experience at least. Ideas were flowing, though they've slowed down slightly of late. I have some things to polish, try and hone. Overall this is going better than I could have reasonably hoped. I have several dates coming up. I'll know more about where this is heading by the end of June.

LMAO/Arizona Virtual Studios May 23 East Phoenix
Film Bar Phoenix May 24 East Phoenix
Dillon's Comedy on Central June 1 North Central Phoenix
Hidden House June 2 Central Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 9 Tempe
Hidden House June 29 Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 30 Tempe
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale

At LMAO Phoenix

This is a recent set, the day after Osama was killed, at Arizona Virtual Studios, which puts on a great comedy show called LMAO Phoenix.

At the Hidden House April 21

My stand up debut on St. Patty's Day went better than I could have reasonably hoped, though I was a bit disappointed in myself that I flubbed a few things. It was very interesting to find out how things I thought were really good got minimal response, and things I thought were throw-away jokes got a big reaction. I'll be out at the Hidden House again on April 21. It was originally scheduled scheduled for April 14. My next set should be at least fifty percent new material for my friends who made it out last time. Late in the summer, July 31, I will be appearing at the Comedy Spot in Scottsdale. There is a big local comedy scene in Phoenix that I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago, so health allowing, I plan on performing two to three times a week this summer at various locations. There are a lot of cool people I've gotten to know doing this. These people have offered some great advice, support and feedback.

Precedent has been set

A headline in Tuesday’s edition of the Marianas Variety stated: “Judge tells man who fails to pay child support to get a job.” The law is based on precedent. After what happened to Judge Govendo, I’m wondering if this will also require another full-blown judicial anal probing with all the honesty and integrity of an online personal ad. This judge hurt this guy’s feelings when all he did was not support his children. Next thing you know this same judge might say something really harsh like “Adios Muchacho” to a spousal abuser. Deadbeats must be treated sensitively.

Making my stand up debut in March

I will be making my stand up comedy debut at the Hidden House Comedy Club in Phoenix on March 17. They have shows every Wednesday and Thursday with comedians that are very passionate about the art form and are there generally working out new material. The Hidden House Best of CD is quite excellent. I heard Volume I last night. The audience tends to be hard corp comedy fans and not the bachelorette crowd. I'm hoping the ghosts of Hedberg, Hicks, Kinison and others are with me. I've been talking about this too long and need to finally do it. If I do well, and things continue to progress, I'm going to head out to L.A. this summer to get more experience.

That perfect petri dish of capitalism

Almost three years removed from island life, I still try to keep up with the happenings of my old home of Saipan, and when it comes to island political affairs, few people nail it as accurately as my friend Zaldy Dandan, who is an incredibly bright guy and the voice of reason on CNMI politics with his clear-headed, reality based insight into CNMI shenanigans. For someone so on the money about CNMI politics, it's confounding to me that he can be so wrong in political philosophy.

About once a month or so, Z rails about liberalism and touts the virtues of the American Right, a group that is a virtual celebration of stupidity, oligarchy and fear mongering. While I can certainly understand his not being impressed by the Democratic Party, I'm completely confounded that someone as bright as Zaldy aligns himself with anything as moronic as the American Right Wing and its “the jury is still out on evolution” ethos, which is intellectually embarrassing, or should be, to anyone who takes thinking seriously.

In his latest column he comments on the famous, "perfect petri dish of capitalism," notion that the Republican jailbird Tom DeLay boasted about regarding the CNMI, which Zaldy feels is inaccurate. I disagree. Yes while the CNMI is, in part, incompetent government run amok, it is also pure capitalism. When the garment industry owns the government, and corporate control of government fits a definition of fascism, and can pay quasi indentured workers a mere $3.05 per hour to work in sweatshops and dump its waste into the ocean for someone else to clean up with no rules, no oversight and no restraint, that is pure capitalism. Given their druthers, and they've already made advancements by shipping jobs abroad and demonizing labor unions, the American Right would have that type of system everywhere, which is why DeLay spoke in such awe of the CNMI. He, a high ranking leader in the American Right, loved a place where business could do anything and workers had no rights and made meager wages.

The real canard today is that there are so many working class stiffs that just witnessed and are currently feeling the joys of deregulation, of just letting banks and businesses do whatever they want, and yet they still subscribe to this “government is the problem” philosophy and do the bidding of big business, even when their interests are so divergent. Government is the problem because while it is supposed to be the police and put some brakes on corporate excesses, these police are bought and paid for by these criminals through campaign contributions that give them excessive influence. Government is essentially paid not to do its job, paid not to act in the interests of the masses, but of a privileged few. The results is what we've seen from Worldcom, Enron, Citibank, Bank of America, Goldman Sachs and all these other corporate criminals: hubris, bailouts and profit privatized while loss and risk is transferred to the public.

Big business has no natural predators left. The carcass has been picked clean and there is very little left for the rest of us other than high unemployment, upside down mortgages, stagnant wages, and the cost of gas, medical care and higher education rapidly outpacing inflation. For them, corporate profits aided by their control of the U.S. Treasury continue to soar. For us, it's all backwards. The top 1 percent now owns 25 percent of national income, yet fear of a president with a funny name or of illegal immigrants or of some bogeyman who might take our guns foolishly drives the blue collar into the arms of these Right Wing grifters, who have managed to create silly controversies as a distraction while they are robbing the store.

Some benefit financially from this setup, some don't know better, but Z, you must know the deal. I'm not saying be a Democrat, but how you can be on that team?

Editors Note: Back in the day I used to meet up with a group of divergent Saipan thinkers, including Zaldy, and argue about these types of things over copious alcoholic beverages. How I wish I could do that again.

I've become a huge fan of Todd Barry

About every two years I stumble upon a comedian, not necessarily an up and comer, just someone I was not in the know about, who blows me away. About four years ago there was Mitch Hedberg, which led me to Doug Stanhope, which in turn led me to Todd Barry. I just got all three of Barry's live albums and listened to them a couple of times. I think this one on the left is my favorite in the bunch, though they are all fantastic. Barry does an enormous number of relatively short riffs on everyday conventional wisdom, and he delivers them in his characteristic low key delivery. He takes everyday incidents and imprecise language, and he slams you with the truth on these little slices of reality.

Jokes.com
Todd Barry - Chocolate School
comedians.comedycentral.com
Funny Jokes Funny Videos Daniel Tosh Stand-Up

Looking forward to Arin Greenwood's new novel

Arin Greenwood has a new novel inspired by the Saipan lifestyle coming out called "Tropical Depression," and I am really looking forward to reading it. Arin is a great writer, a versed traveler and, most importantly, a genuinely nice person. I remember back when I was on the island I googled Bali one day and read something she wrote about it. (If you Google her you will find a diverse list of topics expatiated on.) Either the article or the bio tag mentioned she lived in Saipan, and while everyone seems to know everyone in Saipan, I don't think I had met her at the time. I was so happy to see such a raconteur living right on my little island that I emailed her and expressed that I would love to meet her. We got to be friends and had several great conversations over the years. She was one of those people that island people I thought cool like Zaldy Dandan, Mike Ernest and Galvin Guerrero really liked her as well.

As for the subject material, I can relate. Lots of us dream of going off to live on a tropical island. Some of us do it. It's not always what you think, it definitely doesn't suck, and there is usually no shortage of memorable stories and characters. My five years in Saipan are probably the most memorable, pivotal and happiest five years of my life -- despite the many problems there.

A while back Arin did share with me an early partial draft of her novel, which comes out in November, and I know I am looking forward to reading the full treatment. Even though I am not writing about or from Saipan these days, I would like to think this blog is still a valid resource to those interested in life in the CNMI. I still get the occasional email about prospects for living there. Arin's book will include a great take on the various missionaries, mercenaries and misfits that have had Saipan sand in their shoes I'm sure. I will update the Amazon link here as soon as it is available.

Best of 2010 on Facebook

Being educated but not wealthy in this country is kind of like being McMurphy on the basketball court in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest." Your teammates are easily distracted morons.

Anytime you see a stand up comedian take out a guitar that is a guarantee it is time to change the channel.

I'm calling bullshit on blenders right now. Grate, chop, blend, mix. They all just make the thing spin round and round just the same.

The New York Times is on Twitter. To quote the late great Mitch Hedberg: "I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary."

Did you ever watch tv all day and feel like you accomplished something because you now have more space on your dvr?

Starting to think Wal Mart needs to add stop lights and a traffic cop to handle all the motorized traffic.

If you can't put a mosque in lower Manhatten, can you put a Catholic Church near a day care center?

Add walking away from my two-year-old daughter this morning at the sitter as she clung to me for dear life with tears streaming down and cries bellowing "daddy" - because she had a slight fever and some congestion - onto my life's worst experiences list.

I will soon get paid like $1000 bucks out of the left over Obama stimulus money to schools for an educational training I attended. On one hand I'm truly grateful, and on the other I know it is 0.00001 of what Goldman Sachs was handed. I should also mention that unlike them I didn't have a hand in blowing a multi-trillion dollar hole in the economy.

So this 8 year old is playing in the park with my baby girl for a while, and then suddenly decides she wants nothing to do with her, walks off and then starts complaining to me that my two year old is following her around. I can't say at this precise moment I wanted this eight year old hurt or anything, but it would ha...ve felt good to squeeze a little lemon in her eye or something.

One of the wisest things I've read in a while and I read it here on Facebook. Thanks to Zaldy Dandan. "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."

Just got my first Arizona summer power bill as a homeowner. I now know how the Gimp in Pulp Fiction felt.

The NFL is a mistress, MLB is a wife.