Friday, October 15, 2010

Best of 2010 on Facebook

Being educated but not wealthy in this country is kind of like being McMurphy on the basketball court in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest." Your teammates are easily distracted morons.

Anytime you see a stand up comedian take out a guitar that is a guarantee it is time to change the channel.

I'm calling bullshit on blenders right now. Grate, chop, blend, mix. They all just make the thing spin round and round just the same.

The New York Times is on Twitter. To quote the late great Mitch Hedberg: "I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary."

Did you ever watch tv all day and feel like you accomplished something because you now have more space on your dvr?

Starting to think Wal Mart needs to add stop lights and a traffic cop to handle all the motorized traffic.

If you can't put a mosque in lower Manhatten, can you put a Catholic Church near a day care center?

Add walking away from my two-year-old daughter this morning at the sitter as she clung to me for dear life with tears streaming down and cries bellowing "daddy" - because she had a slight fever and some congestion - onto my life's worst experiences list.

I will soon get paid like $1000 bucks out of the left over Obama stimulus money to schools for an educational training I attended. On one hand I'm truly grateful, and on the other I know it is 0.00001 of what Goldman Sachs was handed. I should also mention that unlike them I didn't have a hand in blowing a multi-trillion dollar hole in the economy.

So this 8 year old is playing in the park with my baby girl for a while, and then suddenly decides she wants nothing to do with her, walks off and then starts complaining to me that my two year old is following her around. I can't say at this precise moment I wanted this eight year old hurt or anything, but it would felt good to squeeze a little lemon in her eye or something.

One of the wisest things I've read in a while and I read it here on Facebook. Thanks to Zaldy Dandan. "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."

Just got my first Arizona summer power bill as a homeowner. I now know how the Gimp in Pulp Fiction felt.

The NFL is a mistress, MLB is a wife.

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