Right versus left

One thing I've contemplated of late is why right wingers I know, Bruce Bateman, Harry Blalock, Mike Ernest and even Richard Pierce come to mind, are way cooler people to hang out and talk with than the left wingers I agree with so much more. I think it boils down to humor, and the left's apparent lack of it. Angelo, pretty liberal himself, has had his spats with lefties Wendy Doromol, Ed Propst and Dengre. I've gotten it from lefties Jane Mack, monkey picture and a touch of it from Steve Woodruff. As usual, Matt Taibbi captures this phenomenon in a quote I just read.

As for why the left's writers are dull, that's probably the reason —
anybody who's doctrinaire is also always going to be dull. If I know what your
opinion is going to be on any subject, why should I bother reading you? Plus,
most of the left's writers are like Democratic politicians in general — always
worried about offending somebody. And they're always trying to stay on message.
There is something there left over from the old communist dictum about art for
art's sake being dangerous and unorthodox. What's most infuriating about this is
that humor is the most subversive force there is. If you can become the place
where people go to laugh at the system, you will attract all the dissenting
energy in the population. But the American left has no sense of humor and no
sense of fun at all. And so the would-be revolutionaries all avoid them like the
plague, go into day-trading and shit like that.

Guided by Harry Blalock's Ass

A bolt broke on the steering column on Bruce Bateman's boat. Bruce spent a lot of time trying to fix it, but the right part wasn't available, so Bruce's boat was navigated by Harry's ass. I mean this literally. The steering wheel was completely useless. It spun around without consequence. Our entire navigation system was Harry leaning his ass on the motors in one direction or another. So the two man operation was Bruce powering the motors from up front, Harry steering with his ass in the back (no pun intended), and me on the side making fun of them both. Before I commence the scorn and ridicule this situation begs for, it should be noted I knew this plan going in, and I still took this trip. I really like diving, but I love making fun of these guy even more. I'm going to offer my own best caption contest for the pics below. The winner for each gets a free drink at Porky's for the next blogger drinking session --hopefully on Bruce, aka Captain Useless. Here are my entries.

1. Q. How is your first night at Attica Prison and a trip on Bruce Bateman's boat similar? A. Both give your ass a workout?

2. And he said Gov. Babauta was the ass steering us in the wrong direction?

3. "I know I just admitted to ballroom dancing and I look like I'm really enjoying this, but I swear I'm not gay Bruce. Ask Kelli."

1. Q. What's more ineffective than the Saipan bureaucracy? A. Captain Useless and his spin wheel?

2. Harry likes it when we go full throttle. I didn't even give the order and I think he's "hard to starboard."

3. This wheel gives better spin than Richard A. Pierce.

Face to face with Darth Vader - and he's quite the charmer

I've had quite a day. I've spent the last two days cleaning my classroom, getting intellectually ready for the new school year, talking diving on Harry's Show this morning, and most of all having run into some people I've vilified in this blog.

Leaving the studio booth and heading toward the door I saw a face that was slightly familiar. There was no heavy breathing, so I wasn't sure. Sure enough Richard A. Pierce read my blog, saw that I said I'd be on Harry's Show this morning and wanted to meet me. I think he even made a special trip. We never met before. No chairs were thrown. There wasn't even any yelling, which was good after a pleasant live chat on diving. Richard wanted to introduce himself, show me he was human and vilify the Marianas Variety a bit.

Richard isn't just a little good at what he does, he is a master, said with a slight Jules Winnfield tone from Pulp Fiction, "I'm the foot fuckin' master." I once referred to Richard as the Nick Naylor of Saipan. Naylor is the fictional spokesman for Big Tobacco in the book/film Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley, William F's son -- who is far more impressive than his dad, who I met and corresponded with in college. In one scene in this film, Nick Naylor convinces a crowd that tobacco wants "cancer" boy to live so they can sell him more cigarettes. A plausible argument. He uses various other methods of sophistry. It's a great movie/film and it helps you understand today's media age if you are unclear at all. I have used it in class.

Richard didn't change my mind about the CNMI situation at all, and didn't much try. I certainly still think Zaldy Dandan paints a picture closer to reality than his many enemies, but Richard was successful at convincing me he isn't the Devil. He did say, "I like Darth Vader," which was pretty funny. I emailed him and told him I've been harder on him than anyone ever -- other than George W. Bush, and he is nowhere near W's class for evil and global upheaval. I also got the impression that Richard believes a lot of what he says, which I didn't think the case before. I've agreed with him in the past on his view on the drug and alcohol policy. He didn't ask for this, but I'm going to remove all my personal invective hurled at him. Things like prick, dirtball etc. I probably shouldn't have said those things. The post itself will stay, but I'm going to excise the personal name calling, which I guess I shouldn't have done. I told him we'll probably argue again one day, but it will be with less personal vitriol.

Having said this, if anyone does catch me softening on George W. Bush, I demand you tape some bowling balls to my leg and stick me in the washing machine at the Grotto. I almost bit it there once before. No cheating on this Brad and Angelo. I've got to say something like "Bush isn't all that bad," just so I'm clear on this point.

The true face of evil updated

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