Roman Religion

The Ancient Romans fascinate me. They had a God for every activity that they had to bargain with to gain favor. A wealthy merchant going on a sea voyage would first visit the Temple of Neptune, sacrifice a bull and bathe in its blood. Now you can believe what you will and think what you want about these ancient religious practices, but I think we can all agree on one thing: Religion being ridiculous bullshit is no recent phenomena.

Cowboy up

I'm from New Jersey. No one there is wearing a Cowboy hat and that whole get up unless it's Halloween. I was in a Chili's the other night and two guys came in all Cowboyed up. My first thought was, "I forgot to buy candy this year. All those kids are going to think I'm a dick."

Bono blown off stage

Watch this chick get pulled up on stage, approach Bono like the restraining order just expired, and blow him off the stage with her dance moves. She highlights, like a college freshman with bad study habits, his Irish, white, middle-age lack of dance moves. The comedy kicks in around 3:57.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

I play a Fender bass. I never saw anyone play electric bass and look uncool. And then there was Mike Huckabee. The pan flute is suddenly looking a lot more hip.

Really New York Times

The New York Times is on Twitter. C'mon now fellas. Is the New York Times not
big enough forum for you? What media consumer out there said, "There are already too many media outlets analyzing fiscal policy, reviewing opera and describing the civil strife in Chechnya. What I really need is someone else relating the joy of McDonalds finally bringing back the McRib."

Partying with the Nuge

I'm a Chomsky reading, secular humanist, long time liberal, but I have to admit, if I had invites to parties at both Ted Nugent's house and some NPR listening ethnic studies professor, I'm totally hanging out with the Nuge. He wins in every area. Conversation. I can have tedious discussions about my carbon footprint and genocide in Darfur, or I can talk NFL football with crazy, drunk people. Booze. I can pretend to taste the difference in those two different Beaujolais vintages, or I can slug Jim Beam straight from the bottle without looking out of place. Food, I can throw down on some grilled tofu with an organic parsley salad or I can have a steak grilled medium rare that Ted killed that morning. Music, I can kick it with a glockenspiel concerto or the eight minute Stranglehold guitar solo that includes an onstage animal sacrifice. Overall vibe. I’ve never been to a decent party where the statement, “Check out the tits on the blond,” is considered controversial. Finally, if Nugent's party sags, you know he'll just blow some shit up. Anyone ever seen a boring fire?

The Comedy Store in Hollywood, my Ivan Drago pic

Made it out to the Comedy Store in Hollywood this summer. I took this picture as a reminder of my goal to be performing here one day. That place is long removed from its heyday, but there is still a lot of history there. This book, "I'm Dying Up Here,"  really captures how the place fell apart quite needlessly over very little money, lots of ego and the general shitting upon of comics, which seems to be a normal trend that has changed little over time. I'm going to keep this picture as a reminder, kind of like Rocky did with Ivan Drago.

Latest Comedy Dates

August 28 The Comedy Spot, Scottsdale

September 1 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 8 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 10 Speakeasy Comedy Lounge, Scottsdale

September 13 Film Bar Phoenix, Central Phoenix
September 19 LMAO Phoenix, East Phoenix

September 22 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 29 Monkey Pants Tempe

The floatation tank ought to be more well known

I went for a float at the True Rest Floatation Spa in Scottsdale yesterday. This was my third float. I had a friend I worked with in New York City at the AMEX named Richard Torres, one person I miss and wish would find me on Facebook, and he was obsessed with this concept and talked about it often. That was approximately ten years ago, and Rich would also try to get me to Google floatation tanks at least once a week. There was little information on this concept at the time. I heard Joe Rogan discussing the tank experience on a podcast and it made me realize that this must exist more prevalently now, and all things considered, I'm shocked this concept hasn't taken off more. It's something I would buy stock in as I think it has nothing but upside. I suspect that in twenty years the tank will be as common as a massage. I did a search and found that there was a float center in Scottsdale, so I gave it a shot.

What it involves is extremely salted water set to exact body temperature, so you can lie down in a completely dark environment and float in a way where skin and water are almost indistinguishable. The ears are also plugged. Left with no distractions and little to do, the mind takes you on a trip that feels like what I would imagine outer space to be like. I felt the sensation of movement without going anywhere. The rest of the day I felt really relaxed and at ease, so while a float session isn't cheap, about 80 dollars a pop, there are specials to be had that makes it about half that. They had a half off Groupon I grabbed the other day. I would definitely recommend trying the tank.