Let the crying begin, it's over

"It aint over until it's over."
- Yogi Berra


It is indeed over and hurrah for that. All the CNMI lobbyist money went for naught. The forces of douchebaggery: Abramoff, DeLay and his corrupt minions, as well as the vast majority of the imbeciles making up our local government lost. President Numbnuts signed the bill to federalize immigration in the CNMI. The CNMI will now be forced to do the things necessary to turn this place around instead of just running the same old immoral and unsustainable play from their tired out cheap labor, no viable private sector playbook. The fact that Governor Fitial, with the reverse Midas Touch, will be crying tomorrow is a guarantee that this is the right thing. Just by following the near flawless "Do the opposite" approach with the CNMI government, we have the paradigm for improvement. Even funnier is that a lot of the people who should be happy will be angry, like Greg Cruz, and the people who should be concerned will be celebrating, like the guest workers.

Casting the lure, MV 19

There were a lot of things I thought quirky about the anti-federalization rally held over the weekend. The tone at first was typical of Greg Cruz, which was to make little practical sense and imbue the message with a dash of racism against contract workers. "The peaceful rally will follow the political activism of the CNMI's nonresident guest worker population clamoring for federalization to secure improved immigration status, " Cruz's first description noted. When more respectable people took part in the rally, the tone became nicer with this statement being issued: “we do not oppose any national group from seeking U.S. citizenship." Sure you don't. The one thing accomplished by the thousands of dollars in lobbyist fees recently spent by the broke government was the killing of the provision to upgrade the immigration status of long time guest workers.

First, how absurd is it in an age of global warming and a war based on fossil fuels, which are now up around $4.00 per gallon, to have a car rally. What kind of message does that send? It's also counterproductive in that it discourages those people without cars. It would be so much physically healthier and democratic to have people out walking while holding placards and actually saying what they want to say without being filtered through Cruz. The car rally idea might have been hatched to make the event look larger than it really was. The Tribune had the number at 150. The Variety quoted Cruz as saying the number was in the thousands. Several bloggers disputed Cruz’s numbers and were justifiably critical of the Variety going with Cruz's number in its headline rather than giving its own on-scene estimate. Blogger Tamara Hunter said, "I counted exactly 105 cars coming out of fishing basin, plus three police escorts," while fellow blogger Glen Doutrich counted 65 cars.

Regardless of how many participated, other than being against federalization, the message morphed each day. The improved immigration status some people dreaded is out of the bill, but organizers handed out this misleading statement: "We oppose the manner in which the federal government seeks to grant permanent residency and citizenship to aliens/foreign nationals working in the CNMI using out of the ordinary established immigration procedures and channels at the expense of the people of the CNMI by compromising the provisions of self-government found in the Covenant.” Since that immigration provision is out of the bill, what exactly is the point of saying that other than to lure people who don't follow the news closely enough to know it's out of the bill? Who exactly rallies against improved status for their fellow man anyway? The new approach was self government and a fake no representation argument.

Leading up to the rally, there was also this misleading statement from Cruz: "This event is an opportunity for all of our residents to join together against Federalization without representation." Like the phony improved status lure, the no representation lure is another distortion. This bill actually provides representation, and the new representative job pays around $160,000. There will be a mob scene of waving/sign holding politicos clamoring for that position. If representation matters, a logical person should support the federalization bill. This was another method to lure in those who don't follow the news closely.

Finally there is the whole anti-federalization idea that has been ingrained for years. People trumpet the doomsday scenario about how it will lead to the destruction of our economy. Our economy is already destroyed, and the continued total lack of a viable private sector paying living wages won't help revamp it. As long as the local government is allowed to bloat the labor supply, wages will still be stuck at the meager amounts they have been for years.

I spent a weekend in Guam a few months ago, and there were countless times I heard "Hey, Mr. Turbitt." It was ex-students who were now living and working in Guam where they are paid better wages. These young people voted with their feet by leaving the CNMI. More will continue to do so until we have a private sector that will pay them. The local government has failed at that miserably. I doubt federalization can make the situation worse. Don’t be lured in with only half the story.

Times Change, so must we, MV 17

By Jeffrey C. Turbitt

When I first arrived here I wondered why the CNMI is so strongly in the Republican camp. Historically it was the Democratic Party starting with Franklin Roosevelt and continuing on later with Lyndon Johnson that followed the John Maynard Keynes inspired notion of creating government jobs in the absence of private sector opportunities and set up social welfare programs such as food stamps that so many people here rely upon for important things like eating. D.C. Republicans, on the other hand, have been trying to dismantle these programs for years and have never been sympathetic to the poor in any fashion. This CNMI party preference is especially peculiar because the CNMI has an enormous number of poor people. The last census had that number near fifty percent.

The answer, I'm pretty sure, is that CNMI Republicans have little to do with D.C. Republicans, and for that matter, I'm not sure any of our elected leaders have any political philosophy other than the spoils system of giving public money and government jobs to political supporters. The second reason is that national Republicans have aligned themselves with the Religious Right, and the CNMI has a strong Catholic influence. And reason number three is that the demonized George Miller is a Democrat and he has been made the boogieman for years for his pointed criticisms of the CNMI, and his desire to federalize and reform the excesses in these islands that would necessitate a change in our economic model when we don't have a plan for a new model.

I'm now wondering why so many local people are against federalization of immigration. Put simply, it is this local government that has bloated the labor supply here for years to the point where there is still virtually no private sector paying living wages. I can understand why the Chamber of Commerce and business owners are against federalization as they'll have to pay more for labor, which means less money in their pockets. They are at least acting in their own economic interest. But why would a group like Tao Tao Tano be on the local government's side in an issue like this when this local government has treated people like Greg Cruz so poorly, and will continue to leave locals with only the $3.55 option as the garment factory money to fund the nonsense jobs continues to dry up. If the labor supply weren't bloated, there would be better options than $3.55.

The answer is that the average citizen here is being bamboozled by emotional issues, much like the average person in the mainland votes against their own economic interest because they are blinded by the use of the God, guns and gays non-issue in campaigns. D.C. Republicans have used prayer in school, gay marriage and gun nut pandering to get elected, start wars that drive the price of gas to $4.00, allow HMOs to keep sick people from seeing doctors and cut taxes for mega millionaire CEOs. As this is happening, costs for child care, college tuition and housing continue to skyrocket. But hey, we have a "moral" president that is against gay people kissing, which is more important than the cost of gas, housing, child care and medical care -- at least more important if you're a nitwit that can be easily manipulated by non-issues that don't really impact your life, which sadly makes up a large portion of my fellow Americans.

Same nonsense is going on here. Protect our right to "self government," fight the "federal takeover," "it's colonization" and other loaded terms make it sound like armed vandals are storming Garapan. These tactics tug at people's patriotism and emotions and away from their sense. It's good propaganda and a lot of people are buying it that shouldn't be. The Tao Tao Tano group is posting numerous videos on youtube.com with a generally derisive take on contract workers and federal government officials for their role in the Unity March and the nearly completed federal takeover of immigration. Other end of days proclamations went out for a $.50 cent increase in the minimum wage, normally something positive for the average worker that gets favorable public opinion, yet oddly it was other relatively broke people aghast at this turn of events.

Lost in all this loaded rhetoric is that a federal takeover is good for the average worker because it is the federal government that will actually clamp down on the supply of contract workers, and this reduction in labor supply will drive wages higher and motivate local people to actually work in the private sector, which needs to happen to have a functioning economy. The local government will continue to do what it has always done: Provide a steady stream of contract workers. It's what they've always done and always will do. The old model of using garment factory taxes to finance make work government jobs is broken, and there is no fix for it. There will be less government jobs each year. People will have to turn to the private sector, and who wants to work for CNMI private sector wages -- we know the answer to that and it isn't by and large people with American passports. The CNMI once had an economic model that mostly worked for local people, but it was rightfully derided around the globe for its immorality. That model is forever lost because the local garment factories can't use the U.S. tariff laws to its advantage any longer. The factories are closing and will continue to close. The sweatshops can make their clothes in Vietnam or China cheaper now and not pay a tariff. That's the consumer beloved free trade system, which isn't quite as appealing if you're a worker.

People haven't quite wrapped their heads around the fact that the old way is finished, and it was the tariff law change, not the minimum wage or federalization that ended the old system. Ordinary people are taking their cues from leaders who still seem to think that meager private sector wages using third world labor can still work. The governor went out of his way to malign Interior Deputy David Cohen, and he ignored the Washington Rep., who saw the writing on the wall on this issue. The cheap labor ship has sailed. It's time for everyone to face it and stop blaming contract workers, the federal government and liberal haoles. We need to reinvent ourselves and use what we do have: a beautiful island, strong families, a vibrant history and an American stability near the large, wealthy or growing economies of Japan, Korea and China. We can not put our future in the hands of an unimaginative government leadership that can't adjust to change, not to mention keep the lights on or the hospital stocked with basic supplies and staff. The old model just doesn't work any longer. Times change and so must we.

Jeffrey C. Turbitt is the language arts department chairman at Saipan Southern High School, as well as an avid scuba diver and traveler. He offers more thoughts in his blog Hypercritical Thought at: www.turbittj.blogspot.com/ He welcomes feedback, tips and story ideas at turbittj@yahoo.com. His column appears regularly on Wednesdays.

A future Bush appointee in our midst

Remember when Tom Delay talked about the CNMI as the perfect petri dish of capitalism. Well now that the federalization situation is about to conclude in a way that ends our current failed model, here comes the fear mongering and the general obfuscation. Our work force will be "drained," unless of course it's "flooded." Capitalism offers a simple way to stop that problem of fleeing workers, one even Bruce Bateman would appreciate, and it's called paying people enough to make them want to stay.

"Heck of a job, Brownie."

But don't worry about any of this because Senate President Joseph Mendiola is on the case -- a case that makes no sense whatsoever, as he guarantees every coin flip will come up heads or tails.

SENATE President Joseph M. Mendiola is urging the Bush administration to
persuade the U.S. Congress to amend the federalization bill’s nonimmigrant
status provision for long-term guest workers, saying it will “drain” the CNMI of
its workforce.

Mr. Mendiola also offers the same absurdity as the Chamber President. First it's going to drain our workforce, but at the same time it's going to overwhelm our infrastructure with a population explosion. Which one is it, Houdini? They're all going to leave, or they're all going to come. I really don't get it.

He estimated that 15,000 migrants may benefit from the proposed
nonimmigrant status program and may bring their relatives to the
islands.“Assuming 15,000 nonresident workers qualify for the nonimmigrant status
under Section 6 of S. 1634 (60 percent of alien work permits issued in 2006),
and assuming each of these qualified aliens has one spouse and two children, the
CNMI would almost immediately see an increase in population of 45,000 additional
aliens,” said Mendiola.“This would certainly put a tremendous burden on the
CNMI’s already strained Public School System, public health system, public
safety services, courts, and numerous other community services that the CNMI
government is currently pressed to provide at this time,” he added.

My guess is that $3.55, overcrowded schools for their kids, and a power plant that doesn't allow two people to make toast simultaneously on the island won't draw the liberated masses away from Guam or the mainland. I see and hear of people leaving in droves. I know people who have been looking for most any job for months. I imagine they'll leave for greener pastures, so the first idea is probably correct, not the contradictory second part.

Here is the dessert in case all of the preceding is not convoluted enough.

Mendiola said the nonresident population which stands to benefit from the move
will eventually exceed the number of local people.

The nonresident population has exceeded the number of local people for years -- by far. What is this guy talking about? Is he trying out for the Bush appointment to the Supreme Court or something?

The latest attack from our Colonial Masters in D.C.

I went to the PTA meeting at Saipan Southern High School the other night, and a couple folks from Public Health came and educated the parents about a program to give free vaccinations for the human papillomavirus (HPV) to all girls 18 and under in the CNMI. This is the most expensive vaccine in existence, the presenters noted at almost $400, and HPV is the cause of 100 percent of Cervical Cancer. The vaccination is obviously a sensible precaution that virtually all young women should take, and for these young women of the CNMI it is free.

I think this is very generous of our colonial masters in Washington D.C., who usually spend their time seeking to destroy the CNMI in a fit of payback and revenge through federalization. I was scratching my head wondering how they could know from 10,000 miles away that it is a good idea to prevent HPV? I was thinking we should demand an impact study on whether vaccines actually vaccinate in the CNMI? Perhaps they shouldn't have destroyed local government by this incursion into local public health. I guarantee the local government officials would gladly give up their next few junkets for the opportunity to inoculate our local girls against a deadly disease. What a bunch of bullies the Feds are! If they give us a free new power plant next, I demand we secede.

Diving, federal jobs and Phil Rizzuto

Harry and Mike and others are putting together this Marianas Dive website, as they have a point that diving has not been properly marketed here in the CNMI. This little example hardly revitalizes the economy, but taken further, it helps just a bit. I bought Mike's Underwater World of Saipan just as soon as it came out. Of all the dives on the DVD, the one that looked the best, I thought, was Bonzai Cliff. I had never been there. Sure enough yesterday I dropped $45 and hopped on the Aquajet to head to Bonzai and Spotlight Cave, and reality is just as good as the video. There is an incredible diversity of corals at Bonzai with an amazing explosion of colors. Seeing the cliff from the water was cool all by itself. Bonzai is probably now my favorite dive in all of Saipan other than the Grotto. After the dive, I bought myself a new dive bag at a local dive shop, another $45, as I figure I'll continue to dive a lot. Two small examples, but they could go further, and I think those guys have a point on the opportunities in diving here left untouted.

This picture to the right is of the first dive, Spotlight Cave. This picture is by Dr. Mark Robertson. It wasn't as spectacular for me when I went as this day was for Mark, who says the best time to go is on a cloudless day around noon to get this type of spectacular spotlight view. This picture makes me want to do Spotlight again I must say. Great picture Mark.

To the left is the land view of Banzai Cliff of World War II infamy where mass suicides of Japanese soldiers and civilian personnel took place, including women and children. They jumped to their deaths rather than face capture by advancing American forces in 1945. The Japanese on the dive boat with me were seen praying as we passed over the spot.
***
SSHS has a federal grant that allows for afterschool tutoring. The pay is actually pretty meager, but I'm instituting an afterschool ESL program at SSHS, which we otherwise don't have the money to create. I took a graduate ESL course last year, and I remain in contact with the professor, had lunch with him in New York City this summer, and he has given me plenty of good advice on the most effective ways to proceed. The principal attendees based on sign ups will be Korean students, who I "supposedly" am racist against.
***
I talked to a friend in the business community, someway who keeps his finger on the pulse of these things, and he says federalization should be done by October, and there will be a lot of federal jobs out here soon thereafter. He also speculated it might be hard to fill them, and that these jobs would be based on merit, via education and test scores, not who you voted for or how many friends you have in government. He said CPA would be gone, as well as labor and immigration, and more jobs would be coming in to the islands.
***
The Yankees have a look in their eye I didn't expect to see, with a lot of young players performing well, and a lot of veterans turning it around. They are now in the thick of the pennant race.

On that subject, this week Phil Rizzuto died. He was an institution as a broadcaster, and his shtick was a staple of my Yankee obsessed teenage years. He does the play by play in Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell, which was just fantastic.

Here is a list of his greatest on air quotes. He barely paid attention to the game, and would routinely leave early, very early, to beat traffic. I met him once and got his autograph. He was great with the fans.

'And that ball is out of here. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. What
happened?'

'Well, that kind of puts the damper on even a Yankee win.'
(After hearing Pope Paul VI had died in 1978)

Rizzuto: 'Reggie's home run has gone clear out of the ballpark.'
Bill White: 'Actually, Scooter, the ball landed in the seats.'
Rizzuto: 'It doesn't matter. They can't see it anyway at home.'

'If Don Mattingly isn't the American League MVP, nothing's kosher in
China.'

'Oh, deep to left center, nobody's gonna get that one. ... Holy Cow,
somebody got it.'

Rizzuto (after foul ball is hit into dugout): 'Boy, I hope that's not (Ron)
Guidry who got in the way.'
Frank Messer: 'Scooter, uh, Guidry is on the mound.'
Rizzuto: 'You know, Frank, you're right.'

'I gotta tell you what I did. You won't believe it, Bill White, but it's
something I've wanted to do my whole life and finally today I got nerve enough
to do it. I had a facial... No wonder women go. It took two and a half hours.
Oh, they massage your face with oil, and then cream, rub your eyeballs...'

'Okay, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here, two down,
nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth...' 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light'