Remaining July Comedy Dates

Shout House, July 12 Glendale
Monkey Pants and Hidden House July 14 (Two this night in that order.)
Hidden House July 27
Manuel's Cantina July 28 North Phoenix
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale

Couple of new bits I tried out

Here are a couple of new bits I tried out the other night. You have to show up to a show if you want to see more.

Stage Spillover - Don't side with the douchebags

I inject myself with a thousand dollars worth of drugs every two weeks. It’s not a newly formed heroin habit, I have Chrohn’s Disease, and that’s the minimally effective medication I’m on. Everybody has something wrong with them. Diabetes, hypertension, shriveled up raisin testicles. Those of you who don’t currently qualify, can join this shitty party at any moment. Look around any crowd in this McCulture of ours. If our bodies were a car lot, this wouldn’t be the 2012 new car auto mall, it’s some Craig’s List auction of late 70s Pintos. Except for Tempe, damn there are some fine looking women there. If I were single. Who am I kidding, I’d be afraid to talk to you. Funny and educated always loses to short, fat, bald and broke. But I digress. I point this out because I really want to know, which of you broke SOBs was out there protesting health care reform? I had a one day hospital bill last fall of $10,000. There is probably a maximum of two people in this whole crowd who couldn’t be shit canned tomorrow on the whim of some dickhead and have no health coverage. Try going to the doctor then. You’ll get as much attention as the guy in the strip club tossing nickels around.

I know what you are thinking. These issues are complicated, I have a busy life and the media is no road map. I'm here to help. I’ve got a simple solution for establishing a world view and it's foolproof. On any complicated issue, look where the douche bags line up and just be on the other side. Gay Marriage. On one side you have judgmental busybodies, closet case politicans exploiting rednecks and preachers looking for attention. On the other side you have a group whose only major flaw is elevating Cher, Liza Minelli  and showtunes above their cultural import. Pretty simple call. Another one: Global Warming: Science says it’s happening. Oil companies and Fox News says it isn’t. You don’t even need to turn off the X-Box to know where to side on that one. If you were teammates with the HMOs during that debate, you basically offered brass-nuckles to someone who keeps punching you in the face. Wisen up pinwheel! And if it was your stupid relative opposing it, throw an M-80 dangerously close to him at the Fourth of July picnic. Che Guevera got started that way.

Updated shows updated again

My summer woodshedding, by my standards of performing at least, on the local comedy circuit has been going reasonably well. Restaurant shows are tough, but Dillon's on Cental went ok. Not nearly the disaster I had at Dos Gringos. LMAO Phoenix is quickly becoming the biggest and best crowd in the valley. I had my best set to date there in late May. Hidden House is still great. My last set there went ok, but I flubbed some things and wasn't as prepared in my delivery as I should have been. I'm very curious to see what my friends Steve Marek and Jamie Sanderson do with Monkey Pants in Tempe. So far they seem to be rocking it. Check out the podcasts those guys are doing on local comics. It is available on Itunes and on the link by their names.

LMAO/Arizona Virtual Studios May 23 East Phoenix
Film Bar Phoenix May 24 Central Phoenix
Dillon's Comedy on Central June 1 North Central Phoenix
Hidden House June 2 Central Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 9 Tempe
LMAO Phoenix June 27, East Phoenix
Hidden House June 29 Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 30 Tempe
Film Bar Phoenix July 5 Central Phoenix
Shout House, July 12 Glendale
Monkey Pants and Hidden House July 14 (Two this night in that order.)
Shout House, July 19 Glendale
Hidden House July 27 Central Phoenix
Manuel's Cantina July 28 North Phoenix
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
Monkey Pants Comedy, August 11
Hidden House Comedy, August 18
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale
Hidden House Comedy, September 1 Central Phoenix

Richard Turbitt, KIA 4-20-68

My second cousin, Richard Turbitt (second from left), was killed in action in Vietnam on his twentieth birthday in 1968. He was there for a bit less than a year. I never heard much about him growing up and surprisingly didn't ask questions. I was fascinated by that war and read tons about it at a very young age. This is the only reference I could find on the internet that showed him, and didn't just make a reference to his name on a wall. Thanks to veteran Tom Ford for sharing it.

Lots of new comedy dates

I'm having a blast finding my way in the Phoenix local comedy scene. I've done five sets thus far. Only one was a disaster, but I got a bit I liked out of that unpleasant experience at least. Ideas were flowing, though they've slowed down slightly of late. I have some things to polish, try and hone. Overall this is going better than I could have reasonably hoped. I have several dates coming up. I'll know more about where this is heading by the end of June.

LMAO/Arizona Virtual Studios May 23 East Phoenix
Film Bar Phoenix May 24 East Phoenix
Dillon's Comedy on Central June 1 North Central Phoenix
Hidden House June 2 Central Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 9 Tempe
Hidden House June 29 Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 30 Tempe
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale

At LMAO Phoenix

This is a recent set, the day after Osama was killed, at Arizona Virtual Studios, which puts on a great comedy show called LMAO Phoenix.

At the Hidden House April 21

My stand up debut on St. Patty's Day went better than I could have reasonably hoped, though I was a bit disappointed in myself that I flubbed a few things. It was very interesting to find out how things I thought were really good got minimal response, and things I thought were throw-away jokes got a big reaction. I'll be out at the Hidden House again on April 21. It was originally scheduled scheduled for April 14. My next set should be at least fifty percent new material for my friends who made it out last time. Late in the summer, July 31, I will be appearing at the Comedy Spot in Scottsdale. There is a big local comedy scene in Phoenix that I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago, so health allowing, I plan on performing two to three times a week this summer at various locations. There are a lot of cool people I've gotten to know doing this. These people have offered some great advice, support and feedback.

Precedent has been set

A headline in Tuesday’s edition of the Marianas Variety stated: “Judge tells man who fails to pay child support to get a job.” The law is based on precedent. After what happened to Judge Govendo, I’m wondering if this will also require another full-blown judicial anal probing with all the honesty and integrity of an online personal ad. This judge hurt this guy’s feelings when all he did was not support his children. Next thing you know this same judge might say something really harsh like “Adios Muchacho” to a spousal abuser. Deadbeats must be treated sensitively.