Random Hypercritical Thoughts

Copper Blues

2012-01-29T01:34:00.002+10:00

I went to Copper Blues in Phoenix Tuesday. Every waitress there had perfect breasts just out on display in a tribute to the glories of cleavage. I was there only with my wife who was just ready to pounce. I handled this situation well. And now I know how Indiana Jones felt when he couldn't look at the Arc of the Covenant.

January comedy dates

2011-12-24T13:00:00.005+10:00

After a three show rut in November, I had a couple of really fun nights at Monkey Pants and Tosos. The Tosos show might have been my favorite show ever. Just a really great crowd. So, here is where I'm at in January:

January 13 Tosos, North Central Phoenix 9:00 pm
January 24 Laughs and Drafts at Copper Blues, Phoenix, 7:00 pm
January 25 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix 9:00 pm
January 26 Monkey Pants, Tempe 8:30 pm

Last comedy dates of 2011

2011-11-10T13:44:00.005+10:00

I started doing comedy on St. Patrick's Day this year and I'm going to end the year having done 42 shows. A lot of comics have done a lot more than that, but I thought it was a pretty substantial investment for a guy living in the far west valley with a full time job, a part time job and three kids. My last four shows of the year are at Hidden House, Stand Up Scottsdale, Film Bar and Monkey Pants. I will be hosting at Hidden House and Monkey Pants, which will be my first times doing so. I'm very excited for all these shows.

Hidden House Comedy Wednesday November 16 at 9:00 PM

Stand Up Scottsdale Friday November 18 at 9:00 PM
Film Bar Phoenix Tuesday December 6 at 9:00 PM

Monkey Pants Tempe Thursday December 8 at 8:30 PM
Toso's Friday December 9 at 9:00 PM

Doo to doo doo Dora

2011-11-07T08:46:00.000+10:00

Took my daughter to see Dora the Explorer live on stage last week. Not sure it was my best parenting decision. She’ll need to try heroin to reach that level of bliss again as a human. We’ll be in a grocery store and she can spot a Dora lunch bag on the top shelf 100 feet away. If Osama Bin Laden wore a magic backpack and hung out with a talking monkey, it wouldn’t have taken Seal Team Six and a couple thousand CIA operatives to track him down. And when I say talking monkey, I include everyone at Fox News.

Don't dump society's education problems on teachers alone

2011-11-05T03:18:00.002+10:00

I have a column in today's West Valley View. I might return to doing a newspaper column after a significant break.

One of my favorite novels is the 1998 opus “The Beach,” which tells the story of a community of rugged individualists that cling to their unique ideals. Like all good literature, moral questions get raised and explored. In this case, a member of this separatist beach community gets injured in a shark attack and the group decides to stay isolated instead of bringing him back for the medical attention he desperately needs. His moaning and misery begins to spoil the mood, so he is whisked away from the group to fend for himself. His problem remains unsolved, but most just take comfort in having the issue out of sight and out of mind. A much smaller subgroup in the community tries to nurse him back to health with the limited resources available, while the rest wash their hands of it.

This scene reminds me a lot of the situation facing our public schools. I’m in my fourth year teaching middle school in the Liberty School District and what I’ve generally seen is this state shirk its responsibility to educate the youth. Our school budget, already among the nation’s most meager, goes down each year, while not coincidentally our prison budget is the lone area going up. Last year we had a local override extension election, few voted and it was narrowly defeated. Good teachers lost jobs, skimpily paid teacher-assistants lost jobs and many of the various student supports from reading coaches to English Language Development teachers to the librarians to the discipline coordinators were dismissed. Meanwhile we continue to make do with absurdly outdated computers, limited PE facilities and a dismantled full day kindergarten and sports program. Our exhausted, demoralized staff scrambles to plug all these leaks and truly hope the cavalry comes out to vote on November 8 supporting the override this time.

When people choose to either vote no or not vote at all in these override elections, the problems don’t go away. The students keep showing up, keep needing to be educated, keep looking for adult educators spread further and further thin in bigger and bigger classes with greater subordinate demands to give them the time and attention they often aren’t getting elsewhere in our society full of broken homes, increased poverty and income disparity -- problems children did nothing to cause. Not supporting the schools isn’t like skipping vacation this year to save money. The need and the obligation for education remains. What you are doing when you fail to support education is putting the problem on the teachers, then walking away and telling them it’s your problem. We don’t do that to doctors, nurses, plumbers or any other professionals. We teachers continue to plod along with less and less help despite the fact that it’s wrong, selfish and counterproductive to invest so little in our children compared to every other state in our country. Education is a partnership between parents, teachers, students and the community-at-large. It is not something teachers can, or should, do alone.

Our country right now is in a malaise. We have run up a staggering debt. The social safety net has huge holes in it. We’ve seen the values of our homes decrease, and I would suggest that one of the ways to help is to send a message that Buckeye is a place that supports and invests in education and where you want your kids to go to school. This election is a referendum on how people feel about the value of education and how they want to support those people who spend their days dedicated to the success of your children.

It is also important not to be bamboozled by the misinformation out there. The conversation on this topic in this forum and others tends to be ignorant and mean spirited. People often say factually inaccurate statements like, “there are too many administrators.” Every school in the Liberty District has only one administrator except the largest school. Another fallacy is the role of a teachers union. We don’t have one. I can be fired at any time for any reason, and in fact, my teaching experience by law can’t even be used as a retention criterion. It is actually in a district’s financial interest to fire veteran teachers the way the system is set up now. My check is down $100 from two years ago, my wife and kids don’t have health insurance, my 301 money is down $1500 since I started, and I don’t even have access to extra work like coaching and summer school to try to scrimp by anymore. The current conditions have at least three good Liberty teachers I know ready to leave the state at year’s end, and I would imagine that will be a growing trend.

The local school budget isn’t Washington D.C.’s cesspool of waste and ill gotten lobbyist pork. It’s a shoestring operation that generally solves its problems by just making more and more demands on teachers already stretched to the limit. We need your help and we need your support on November 8.

Incidentally, it should be noted that in “The Beach,“ the shark attack victim died despite the efforts of that small group. He needed more help.

Letter to the Editor West Valley View

2011-10-24T07:39:00.003+10:00

A recent letter writer made the claim that he had to remove his daughter from Freedom Elementary School to give her “a chance.” I’ve taught at Freedom for the bulk of the school’s existence, live a half mile away, my son graduated from Freedom in May and my younger son is in third grade there right now. I think I know the turf and am heavily invested. The school has never been better, and this is primarily related to an entire staff that is awesome. I teach middle school, so this is the area I know best and will speak of most.

Our reading and science scores are up dramatically, and this is in an environment in which our middle school staffing is down 20 percent in the last two years, not to mention the loss of other support areas such as librarian, ELD teacher, physical education teacher and the discipline coordinator. Our population is enormously transient given the housing market crash that continues unabated. I received a new student literally two days before the AIMS test in March and another 3 days before school was over in May to give you an idea of the constant revolving door the school faces through no fault of its own. One subject in one grade level not meeting an unrealistic benchmark can put an entire school on “warning status,” and give an unrealistic impression of what is happening in the big picture. While I hate to say a body as inept as the Arizona Department of Education is right on anything, when they say the AYP standard is unrealistic and misleading, they are quite correct.

The writer makes a factual error in saying the Freedom principal has eliminated writing instruction, and sarcastically mocks the idea that the social studies teacher can teach writing effectively. Writing has been spread among the staff in middle school and continues unchanged in the primary grades. It hasn’t been eliminated at all. And as the social studies teacher, I have 11 years experience teaching writing and have excellent student writing results at Freedom. We have two other highly qualified, effective and experienced writing teachers on the middle school team as well.

No one needs to pull their child out of Freedom or any Liberty School. What they need to do is vote in November for their own property values and their own children by supporting the $9 per month school budget override. They might also consider contacting their child’s teacher and saying, “How can I help you help my child.” And if really motivated, perhaps join the local PTO and pitch in. Those steps would be far more effective than making factual misstatements and insulting people who work long hours with low pay, little job security and lots of abuse for doing an amazing job. Stop by and see for yourself if you don’t believe me.

Quick thought on the occupy backlash

2011-10-19T13:58:00.000+10:00

Already the "hipster" personality type is being used to attack the various occupy movements. Like elections, this will be about personality, not issues. Yes, people protesting are more apt to read books, make scary references to banking law like the Glass Steagall Act and some might even inhale. If that's too much of a turn off, it makes perfect sense to bash those folks and side with the people who want to cancel your medical coverage when you get sick, destroy the last vestige of your union, foreclose on your house and pay you just enough to need two or three jobs.

Upcoming comedy schedule

2011-10-03T04:49:00.001+10:00

October 3 LMAO Phoenix
October 15 Speakeasy Comedy Lounge
October 19 Hidden House Comedy
October 24 The Turf Comedy Show

October 25 Stand Up Scottsdale

November 1 Film Bar Phoenix

Roman Religion

2011-10-03T04:18:00.000+10:00

The Ancient Romans fascinate me. They had a God for every activity that they had to bargain with to gain favor. A wealthy merchant going on a sea voyage would first visit the Temple of Neptune, sacrifice a bull and bathe in its blood. Now you can believe what you will and think what you want about these ancient religious practices, but I think we can all agree on one thing: Religion being ridiculous bullshit is no recent phenomena.

Cowboy up

2011-09-24T05:28:00.000+10:00

I'm from New Jersey. No one there is wearing a Cowboy hat and that whole get up unless it's Halloween. I was in a Chili's the other night and two guys came in all Cowboyed up. My first thought was, "I forgot to buy candy this year. All those kids are going to think I'm a dick."

Bono blown off stage

2011-09-18T14:53:00.002+10:00

Watch this chick get pulled up on stage, approach Bono like the restraining order just expired, and blow him off the stage with her dance moves. She highlights, like a college freshman with bad study habits, his Irish, white, middle-age lack of dance moves. The comedy kicks in around 3:57.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

2011-09-18T10:24:00.005+10:00

I play a Fender bass. I never saw anyone play electric bass and look uncool. And then there was Mike Huckabee. The pan flute is suddenly looking a lot more hip.

Really New York Times

2011-09-15T11:27:00.002+10:00

The New York Times is on Twitter. C'mon now fellas. Is the New York Times not
big enough forum for you? What media consumer out there said, "There are already too many media outlets analyzing fiscal policy, reviewing opera and describing the civil strife in Chechnya. What I really need is someone else relating the joy of McDonalds finally bringing back the McRib."

Partying with the Nuge

2011-09-04T06:59:00.000+10:00

I'm a Chomsky reading, secular humanist, long time liberal, but I have to admit, if I had invites to parties at both Ted Nugent's house and some NPR listening ethnic studies professor, I'm totally hanging out with the Nuge. He wins in every area. Conversation. I can have tedious discussions about my carbon footprint and genocide in Darfur, or I can talk NFL football with crazy, drunk people. Booze. I can pretend to taste the difference in those two different Beaujolais vintages, or I can slug Jim Beam straight from the bottle without looking out of place. Food, I can throw down on some grilled tofu with an organic parsley salad or I can have a steak grilled medium rare that Ted killed that morning. Music, I can kick it with a glockenspiel concerto or the eight minute Stranglehold guitar solo that includes an onstage animal sacrifice. Overall vibe. I’ve never been to a decent party where the statement, “Check out the tits on the blond,” is considered controversial. Finally, if Nugent's party sags, you know he'll just blow some shit up. Anyone ever seen a boring fire?

The Comedy Store in Hollywood, my Ivan Drago pic

2011-09-04T06:34:00.000+10:00

Made it out to the Comedy Store in Hollywood this summer. I took this picture as a reminder of my goal to be performing here one day. That place is long removed from its heyday, but there is still a lot of history there. This book, "I'm Dying Up Here," really captures how the place fell apart quite needlessly over very little money, lots of ego and the general shitting upon of comics, which seems to be a normal trend that has changed little over time. I'm going to keep this picture as a reminder, kind of like Rocky did with Ivan Drago.

Latest Comedy Dates

2011-08-27T10:39:00.001+10:00

August 28 The Comedy Spot, Scottsdale

September 1 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 8 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 10 Speakeasy Comedy Lounge, Scottsdale

September 13 Film Bar Phoenix, Central Phoenix
September 19 LMAO Phoenix, East Phoenix

September 22 Hidden House Comedy, Central Phoenix

September 29 Monkey Pants Tempe

The floatation tank ought to be more well known

2011-08-09T11:43:00.000+10:00

I went for a float at the True Rest Floatation Spa in Scottsdale yesterday. This was my third float. I had a friend I worked with in New York City at the AMEX named Richard Torres, one person I miss and wish would find me on Facebook, and he was obsessed with this concept and talked about it often. That was approximately ten years ago, and Rich would also try to get me to Google floatation tanks at least once a week. There was little information on this concept at the time. I heard Joe Rogan discussing the tank experience on a podcast and it made me realize that this must exist more prevalently now, and all things considered, I'm shocked this concept hasn't taken off more. It's something I would buy stock in as I think it has nothing but upside. I suspect that in twenty years the tank will be as common as a massage. I did a search and found that there was a float center in Scottsdale, so I gave it a shot.

What it involves is extremely salted water set to exact body temperature, so you can lie down in a completely dark environment and float in a way where skin and water are almost indistinguishable. The ears are also plugged. Left with no distractions and little to do, the mind takes you on a trip that feels like what I would imagine outer space to be like. I felt the sensation of movement without going anywhere. The rest of the day I felt really relaxed and at ease, so while a float session isn't cheap, about 80 dollars a pop, there are specials to be had that makes it about half that. They had a half off Groupon I grabbed the other day. I would definitely recommend trying the tank.

Congratulations Brad and Kathy

2011-08-01T04:35:00.000+10:00

One of the downsides to living all over the world is that the people you like most tend to be spread all over the world. It can be nice when you travel and get to see old friends. My buddy Brad Ruszala, frequent target of chop busting on this blog, got hitched yesterday to the lovely Kathy. Sadly I could not make it all the way out to Saipan, but I'm thrilled to death for the both of them and hope they enjoyed my internet based video chop busting.

Stage spillover- Hollywood kisses its own ass

2011-07-30T11:57:00.000+10:00

Every year Hollywood blows itself with the self congratulatory Academy Awards show. They give statues to some pretty boy for being the “best actor.” The King’s Speech was the last big winner. A guy acted like a pampered royal whose big accomplishment was reading a prepared speech into a radio microphone without stammering. Whoa - what a stretch! I say if you want to honor someone playing a role, give it to a waiter on the fifteenth hour of his Waffle House shift. Acting like he gives a shit how your day was and if your eggs were cooked properly is a real performance. Give that tortured bastard a statue for the acceptance speech alone. “I’d like to thank everyone who made this possible. First thank you Fox News for convincing my fellow broke people that unions are a horrible anti-American plot pushing evil things like a living wage and a medical plan. I’d like to thank that condom for breaking in 1999 leaving me with teenagers needing braces. I’d like to thank my buddy Joe for convincing me to drop out of high school and work on the band full time. And finally thank you to that payday loan company on Van Buren. Without your support I would have blown it by throwing the coffee pot at that witch who finger snapped at me.

Iphone video not too shabby

2011-07-30T11:39:00.000+10:00

I took this with the iphone 4 at Rush's Time Machine show in June. Quite impressed with the results.

Latest dates

2011-07-21T11:16:00.000+10:00

Current comedy schedule through August.

Hidden House July 27 Central Phoenix
Manuel's Cantina July 28 North Phoenix
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
Monkey Pants Comedy, August 11
Hidden House Comedy, August 18
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale
Hidden House Comedy, September 1 Central Phoenix

Almost nothing can't be messed up with Arizona education

2011-07-17T09:35:00.001+10:00

The state introduced a new writing test this spring, changed the way it was graded and raised the passing score. Officials hoped the changes would stabilize passing rates, which have fluctuated wildly among grades and over the past five years. The passing rates fell steeply. A little more than 50 percent of fifth-, sixth- and seventh-graders passed the exam, down from about 75 percent last year. Sophomores did better. This year, 68 percent passed, down by only 5 percentage points from last year.The former writing exam was an essay in response to one question. The new writing exam is one essay and 27 multiple-choice questions. The essay counts for 60 percent of the writing test and the multiple-choice questions, 40 percent. Because of the test changes, "this dip in writing scores was expected," said Roberta Alley, the state testing chief.

Dear Miss Alley,

As someone who spent an enormous amount of time and effort teaching writing this past year, I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I am in how the state went about assessing writing this year. I do not believe the scores to be even close to reflecting real proficiency, especially as compared to other subjects. They do not even seem to represent a normal curve and paint an unusually harsh picture that makes it impossible to see year to year growth. A 25 percent drop in those passing basically means the test either then or now is wildly inaccurate. I would say now. On top of that, the multiple choice questions make as much sense as judging a cook by his or her ability to chop vegetables. How about we again give full weight to what really matters: the final meal? The holistic scoring gives the parent and teacher less data on strengths and weaknesses of the student, and is a clear indicator of where this is all headed given Arizona's meager support for education: A full on multiple choice test that's cheaper, less accurate and will only serve to further demoralize teachers in this state who get treated poorly enough as it is. I hope you'll be on the right side when that happens.

Regards,

Jeffrey C. Turbitt

The Gold Standard

2011-07-17T03:58:00.000+10:00

Want to keep this clip readily available to remind myself that the perfect six minute set does exist.

So much for good times at Smiling Cove Marina

2011-07-13T03:02:00.001+10:00

ACTING Gov. Eloy S. Inos yesterday signed into law two local bills, one of which prohibits the hanging of clothes especially underwear in areas visible to passersby. House Local Bill 17-40 has been dubbed as the “panties bill” because its author Rep. Joseph M. Palacios said he introduced it after seeing underwear hanging on a balcony in the Garapan tourist district. Palacios, R-Saipan, said he saw how tourists shook their heads in disgust upon seeing the panties. This, he said, will surely chase away tourists.

In separate news, it is now a crime to have a sail on a local sailboat!

The Cars are back. I'm glad, but...

2011-07-12T06:58:00.000+10:00

When I heard The Cars were returning after a near 25 year hiatus, I was pretty pumped. They were my first musical love. I'm conveniently ignoring that Billy Joel's Glass Houses was the first album I ever bought. The more experimental Cars songs, and there are a lot of them such as this one, still rank, to me at least, as some of the greatest songs of all time. Their latest album Move Like This is shockingly good for a band so far removed from their prime and so rusty. The album really feels like the next logical Cars album if they didn't sadly piss away all those good years for no particularly good reason -- especially in a world where Journey and Yes literally took people from tribute bands and made them their new lead singer. I've watched several clips of the mini-tour The Cars did, and there are some stellar moments. Elliot Easton's solo on You're All I've Got Tonight is just phenomenal. But man does this band miss the late Ben Orr. No one in this band can sing back up if their life was on the line. Overall, the playing is really sloppy. I wish they had just rehearsed more. They were never a stellar live act, and this hardly negatively impacts their legacy, but please prepare a bit more. There is a small cadre out there who really appreciates their artistry and want to see it as good as it can be.

Remaining July Comedy Dates

2011-07-12T05:38:00.000+10:00

Shout House, July 12 Glendale
Monkey Pants and Hidden House July 14 (Two this night in that order.)
Hidden House July 27
Manuel's Cantina July 28 North Phoenix
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale

Couple of new bits I tried out

2011-07-04T15:16:00.000+10:00

Here are a couple of new bits I tried out the other night. You have to show up to a show if you want to see more.

Stage Spillover - Don't side with the douchebags

2011-07-02T03:49:00.005+10:00

I inject myself with a thousand dollars worth of drugs every two weeks. It’s not a newly formed heroin habit, I have Chrohn’s Disease, and that’s the minimally effective medication I’m on. Everybody has something wrong with them. Diabetes, hypertension, shriveled up raisin testicles. Those of you who don’t currently qualify, can join this shitty party at any moment. Look around any crowd in this McCulture of ours. If our bodies were a car lot, this wouldn’t be the 2012 new car auto mall, it’s some Craig’s List auction of late 70s Pintos. Except for Tempe, damn there are some fine looking women there. If I were single. Who am I kidding, I’d be afraid to talk to you. Funny and educated always loses to short, fat, bald and broke. But I digress. I point this out because I really want to know, which of you broke SOBs was out there protesting health care reform? I had a one day hospital bill last fall of $10,000. There is probably a maximum of two people in this whole crowd who couldn’t be shit canned tomorrow on the whim of some dickhead and have no health coverage. Try going to the doctor then. You’ll get as much attention as the guy in the strip club tossing nickels around.

I know what you are thinking. These issues are complicated, I have a busy life and the media is no road map. I'm here to help. I’ve got a simple solution for establishing a world view and it's foolproof. On any complicated issue, look where the douche bags line up and just be on the other side. Gay Marriage. On one side you have judgmental busybodies, closet case politicans exploiting rednecks and preachers looking for attention. On the other side you have a group whose only major flaw is elevating Cher, Liza Minelli and showtunes above their cultural import. Pretty simple call. Another one: Global Warming: Science says it’s happening. Oil companies and Fox News says it isn’t. You don’t even need to turn off the X-Box to know where to side on that one. If you were teammates with the HMOs during that debate, you basically offered brass-nuckles to someone who keeps punching you in the face. Wisen up pinwheel! And if it was your stupid relative opposing it, throw an M-80 dangerously close to him at the Fourth of July picnic. Che Guevera got started that way.

Updated shows updated again

2011-06-08T08:54:00.009+10:00

My summer woodshedding, by my standards of performing at least, on the local comedy circuit has been going reasonably well. Restaurant shows are tough, but Dillon's on Cental went ok. Not nearly the disaster I had at Dos Gringos. LMAO Phoenix is quickly becoming the biggest and best crowd in the valley. I had my best set to date there in late May. Hidden House is still great. My last set there went ok, but I flubbed some things and wasn't as prepared in my delivery as I should have been. I'm very curious to see what my friends Steve Marek and Jamie Sanderson do with Monkey Pants in Tempe. So far they seem to be rocking it. Check out the podcasts those guys are doing on local comics. It is available on Itunes and on the link by their names.

LMAO/Arizona Virtual Studios May 23 East Phoenix
Film Bar Phoenix May 24 Central Phoenix
Dillon's Comedy on Central June 1 North Central Phoenix
Hidden House June 2 Central Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 9 Tempe
LMAO Phoenix June 27, East Phoenix
Hidden House June 29 Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 30 Tempe
Film Bar Phoenix July 5 Central Phoenix
Shout House, July 12 Glendale
Monkey Pants and Hidden House July 14 (Two this night in that order.)
Shout House, July 19 Glendale
Hidden House July 27 Central Phoenix
Manuel's Cantina July 28 North Phoenix
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
Monkey Pants Comedy, August 11
Hidden House Comedy, August 18
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale
Hidden House Comedy, September 1 Central Phoenix

Richard Turbitt, KIA 4-20-68

2011-06-02T10:02:00.005+10:00

My second cousin, Richard Turbitt (second from left), was killed in action in Vietnam on his twentieth birthday in 1968. He was there for a bit less than a year. I never heard much about him growing up and surprisingly didn't ask questions. I was fascinated by that war and read tons about it at a very young age. This is the only reference I could find on the internet that showed him, and didn't just make a reference to his name on a wall. Thanks to veteran Tom Ford for sharing it.

Lots of new comedy dates

2011-05-19T14:31:00.007+10:00

I'm having a blast finding my way in the Phoenix local comedy scene. I've done five sets thus far. Only one was a disaster, but I got a bit I liked out of that unpleasant experience at least. Ideas were flowing, though they've slowed down slightly of late. I have some things to polish, try and hone. Overall this is going better than I could have reasonably hoped. I have several dates coming up. I'll know more about where this is heading by the end of June.

LMAO/Arizona Virtual Studios May 23 East Phoenix
Film Bar Phoenix May 24 East Phoenix
Dillon's Comedy on Central June 1 North Central Phoenix
Hidden House June 2 Central Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 9 Tempe
Hidden House June 29 Phoenix
Monkey Pants June 30 Tempe
The Comedy Spot July 31 Scottsdale
The Comedy Spot August 28 Scottsdale

At LMAO Phoenix

2011-05-19T13:37:00.001+10:00

This is a recent set, the day after Osama was killed, at Arizona Virtual Studios, which puts on a great comedy show called LMAO Phoenix.

At the Hidden House April 21

2011-03-28T06:23:00.006+10:00

My stand up debut on St. Patty's Day went better than I could have reasonably hoped, though I was a bit disappointed in myself that I flubbed a few things. It was very interesting to find out how things I thought were really good got minimal response, and things I thought were throw-away jokes got a big reaction. I'll be out at the Hidden House again on April 21. It was originally scheduled scheduled for April 14. My next set should be at least fifty percent new material for my friends who made it out last time. Late in the summer, July 31, I will be appearing at the Comedy Spot in Scottsdale. There is a big local comedy scene in Phoenix that I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago, so health allowing, I plan on performing two to three times a week this summer at various locations. There are a lot of cool people I've gotten to know doing this. These people have offered some great advice, support and feedback.

Precedent has been set

2011-03-26T10:42:00.002+10:00

A headline in Tuesday’s edition of the Marianas Variety stated: “Judge tells man who fails to pay child support to get a job.” The law is based on precedent. After what happened to Judge Govendo, I’m wondering if this will also require another full-blown judicial anal probing with all the honesty and integrity of an online personal ad. This judge hurt this guy’s feelings when all he did was not support his children. Next thing you know this same judge might say something really harsh like “Adios Muchacho” to a spousal abuser. Deadbeats must be treated sensitively.

Making my stand up debut in March

2011-02-27T02:49:00.005+10:00

I will be making my stand up comedy debut at the Hidden House Comedy Club in Phoenix on March 17. They have shows every Wednesday and Thursday with comedians that are very passionate about the art form and are there generally working out new material. The Hidden House Best of CD is quite excellent. I heard Volume I last night. The audience tends to be hard corp comedy fans and not the bachelorette crowd. I'm hoping the ghosts of Hedberg, Hicks, Kinison and others are with me. I've been talking about this too long and need to finally do it. If I do well, and things continue to progress, I'm going to head out to L.A. this summer to get more experience.

That perfect petri dish of capitalism

2011-01-24T14:43:00.004+10:00

Almost three years removed from island life, I still try to keep up with the happenings of my old home of Saipan, and when it comes to island political affairs, few people nail it as accurately as my friend Zaldy Dandan, who is an incredibly bright guy and the voice of reason on CNMI politics with his clear-headed, reality based insight into CNMI shenanigans. For someone so on the money about CNMI politics, it's confounding to me that he can be so wrong in political philosophy.

About once a month or so, Z rails about liberalism and touts the virtues of the American Right, a group that is a virtual celebration of stupidity, oligarchy and fear mongering. While I can certainly understand his not being impressed by the Democratic Party, I'm completely confounded that someone as bright as Zaldy aligns himself with anything as moronic as the American Right Wing and its “the jury is still out on evolution” ethos, which is intellectually embarrassing, or should be, to anyone who takes thinking seriously.

In his latest column he comments on the famous, "perfect petri dish of capitalism," notion that the Republican jailbird Tom DeLay boasted about regarding the CNMI, which Zaldy feels is inaccurate. I disagree. Yes while the CNMI is, in part, incompetent government run amok, it is also pure capitalism. When the garment industry owns the government, and corporate control of government fits a definition of fascism, and can pay quasi indentured workers a mere $3.05 per hour to work in sweatshops and dump its waste into the ocean for someone else to clean up with no rules, no oversight and no restraint, that is pure capitalism. Given their druthers, and they've already made advancements by shipping jobs abroad and demonizing labor unions, the American Right would have that type of system everywhere, which is why DeLay spoke in such awe of the CNMI. He, a high ranking leader in the American Right, loved a place where business could do anything and workers had no rights and made meager wages.

The real canard today is that there are so many working class stiffs that just witnessed and are currently feeling the joys of deregulation, of just letting banks and businesses do whatever they want, and yet they still subscribe to this “government is the problem” philosophy and do the bidding of big business, even when their interests are so divergent. Government is the problem because while it is supposed to be the police and put some brakes on corporate excesses, these police are bought and paid for by these criminals through campaign contributions that give them excessive influence. Government is essentially paid not to do its job, paid not to act in the interests of the masses, but of a privileged few. The results is what we've seen from Worldcom, Enron, Citibank, Bank of America, Goldman Sachs and all these other corporate criminals: hubris, bailouts and profit privatized while loss and risk is transferred to the public.

Big business has no natural predators left. The carcass has been picked clean and there is very little left for the rest of us other than high unemployment, upside down mortgages, stagnant wages, and the cost of gas, medical care and higher education rapidly outpacing inflation. For them, corporate profits aided by their control of the U.S. Treasury continue to soar. For us, it's all backwards. The top 1 percent now owns 25 percent of national income, yet fear of a president with a funny name or of illegal immigrants or of some bogeyman who might take our guns foolishly drives the blue collar into the arms of these Right Wing grifters, who have managed to create silly controversies as a distraction while they are robbing the store.

Some benefit financially from this setup, some don't know better, but Z, you must know the deal. I'm not saying be a Democrat, but how you can be on that team?

Editors Note: Back in the day I used to meet up with a group of divergent Saipan thinkers, including Zaldy, and argue about these types of things over copious alcoholic beverages. How I wish I could do that again.

I've become a huge fan of Todd Barry

2010-11-15T14:10:00.005+10:00

About every two years I stumble upon a comedian, not necessarily an up and comer, just someone I was not in the know about, who blows me away. About four years ago there was Mitch Hedberg, which led me to Doug Stanhope, which in turn led me to Todd Barry. I just got all three of Barry's live albums and listened to them a couple of times. I think this one on the left is my favorite in the bunch, though they are all fantastic. Barry does an enormous number of relatively short riffs on everyday conventional wisdom, and he delivers them in his characteristic low key delivery. He takes everyday incidents and imprecise language, and he slams you with the truth on these little slices of reality.

Jokes.com

Todd Barry - Chocolate School

comedians.comedycentral.com

Funny Jokes

Funny Videos

Daniel Tosh Stand-Up

Looking forward to Arin Greenwood's new novel

2010-10-21T14:48:00.007+10:00

Arin Greenwood has a new novel inspired by the Saipan lifestyle coming out called "Tropical Depression," and I am really looking forward to reading it. Arin is a great writer, a versed traveler and, most importantly, a genuinely nice person. I remember back when I was on the island I googled Bali one day and read something she wrote about it. (If you Google her you will find a diverse list of topics expatiated on.) Either the article or the bio tag mentioned she lived in Saipan, and while everyone seems to know everyone in Saipan, I don't think I had met her at the time. I was so happy to see such a raconteur living right on my little island that I emailed her and expressed that I would love to meet her. We got to be friends and had several great conversations over the years. She was one of those people that island people I thought cool like Zaldy Dandan, Mike Ernest and Galvin Guerrero really liked her as well.

As for the subject material, I can relate. Lots of us dream of going off to live on a tropical island. Some of us do it. It's not always what you think, it definitely doesn't suck, and there is usually no shortage of memorable stories and characters. My five years in Saipan are probably the most memorable, pivotal and happiest five years of my life -- despite the many problems there.

A while back Arin did share with me an early partial draft of her novel, which comes out in November, and I know I am looking forward to reading the full treatment. Even though I am not writing about or from Saipan these days, I would like to think this blog is still a valid resource to those interested in life in the CNMI. I still get the occasional email about prospects for living there. Arin's book will include a great take on the various missionaries, mercenaries and misfits that have had Saipan sand in their shoes I'm sure. I will update the Amazon link here as soon as it is available.

Best of 2010 on Facebook

2010-10-15T07:06:00.005+10:00

Being educated but not wealthy in this country is kind of like being McMurphy on the basketball court in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest." Your teammates are easily distracted morons.

Anytime you see a stand up comedian take out a guitar that is a guarantee it is time to change the channel.

I'm calling bullshit on blenders right now. Grate, chop, blend, mix. They all just make the thing spin round and round just the same.

The New York Times is on Twitter. To quote the late great Mitch Hedberg: "I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary."

Did you ever watch tv all day and feel like you accomplished something because you now have more space on your dvr?

Starting to think Wal Mart needs to add stop lights and a traffic cop to handle all the motorized traffic.

If you can't put a mosque in lower Manhatten, can you put a Catholic Church near a day care center?

Add walking away from my two-year-old daughter this morning at the sitter as she clung to me for dear life with tears streaming down and cries bellowing "daddy" - because she had a slight fever and some congestion - onto my life's worst experiences list.

I will soon get paid like $1000 bucks out of the left over Obama stimulus money to schools for an educational training I attended. On one hand I'm truly grateful, and on the other I know it is 0.00001 of what Goldman Sachs was handed. I should also mention that unlike them I didn't have a hand in blowing a multi-trillion dollar hole in the economy.

So this 8 year old is playing in the park with my baby girl for a while, and then suddenly decides she wants nothing to do with her, walks off and then starts complaining to me that my two year old is following her around. I can't say at this precise moment I wanted this eight year old hurt or anything, but it would ha...ve felt good to squeeze a little lemon in her eye or something.

One of the wisest things I've read in a while and I read it here on Facebook. Thanks to Zaldy Dandan. "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."

Just got my first Arizona summer power bill as a homeowner. I now know how the Gimp in Pulp Fiction felt.

The NFL is a mistress, MLB is a wife.

Camping in Prescott, AZ

2010-10-15T06:58:00.005+10:00

I spent a night camping with a colleague of mine out in Lynx Lake Campground in Prescott, AZ. To state the case mildy, I am not much of the outdoorsman, but I want to know more and get more comfortable. I love the concept, but I really don't have it in my upbringing. The net result was that I had a very good time. The number of meteors one sees in the night sky really staggers. The number of camp conveniences seem to work against the very purpose, but comfort was something that weighed on my mind. I was sitting with my buddy and we discussed what life was like for thousands of years. We were saying that if this were even 80 years ago we would be in serious danger that someone would come along and just take what we had and leave us for dead. We'd be standing a post with guns hoping we wouldn't get ambushed. I thought about the logistics of armies over the ages and was really amazed just contemplating it all. What a hard, rugged existence full of stress that must have been. There are some things I don't much get. I saw someone with a portable satellite dish, which makes me wonder what exactly their point is in camping. Are we really getting back to nature?

One interesting note is that much like my one other foray into camping, a skunk got involved. My buddy brought his dog, and this much protective four legged friend didn't like it entering our domain. So he chased the skunk, which sprayed and let's just say that the skunk severely outshined the fart contest my buddy, my son Alex and I were having.

The atmosphere was nice, the weather was cool, the pine smelled idyllic. I'll be out there again. Prescott is only a two hour drive from Phoenix, so it is convenient. It was nice to see some trees for a change.

Now you're mad?

2010-04-29T15:54:00.002+10:00

I discovered this on the internet. I can only ad an "Amen!"

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President. You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy. You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got ousted. You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed. You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us. You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war. You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq. You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people. You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans. You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden. You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed. You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city drown. You didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich. You didn’t get mad when, using reconciliation; a trillion dollars of our tax dollars were redirected to insurance companies for Medicare Advantage which cost over 20 percent more for basically the same services that Medicare provides. You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark, and our debt hit the thirteen trillion dollar mark. You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans… oh hell no. AND NOW YOU’RE MAD !

Hannibal Buress is a great new standup

2010-02-28T09:47:00.003+10:00

I absolutely love this guy's approach to stand up. I caught him on Comedy Central last week and love it, saw a few more online, and definitely like the dude's take.

Jokes.com

Hannibal Buress - Living Together

comedians.comedycentral.com

Joke of the Day

Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games

Thoughts pulled from my Facebook account

2010-02-20T13:20:00.009+10:00

As is pretty obvious, I have lost the blogging itch. I do still like to gather my thoughts. These days that is pretty much done in brief and on Facebook, where I try to occasionally throw in a witty or indignant barb. The blogs are better at organizing and displaying thoughts. Looking back, the media's frivolous nature seems to annoy me most. I pulled these from my Facebook profile from the past year.

On Tiger Woods:

The needle on my "don't give a shit meter" just broke from the strain of the Tiger Woods press conference. Not sure whether it's his safe, bland, corporate personality, the painfully dull sport he plays or indifference that he is one of like "all" athletic superstars who stray.

On the state of education, mainly the ethos that absolves kids of responsibility for themselves:

Education is the one place liberals shouldn't be in charge.

After getting Direct TV:

You find out new things about your spouse when you start sharing a DVR.

After TSA decided to keep people from the rest room on flights:

Kind of hoping there is an attempt to launch a respiration bomb on an airplane to see if TSA bans breathing during flights.

After seeing the Black Eyed Peas open for U2:

Have gotten into the Black Eyed Peas since I saw them with U2 last month. Found out the lead cat goes by Will.I.Am. I have decided that if I become a rapper I want to be called Boobs.I.Like

After allowing snacks in second period:

This week's sign of the apocalypse: The snack of choice for seventh graders appears to be raw ramen noodles

More disbelief at the lives of teenagers these days:

I had two seventh graders today claim ignorance of Michael Jordan. Last year I had an eighth grader emphatic in her obliviousness to the existence of the Rolling Stones. These weren't recent immigrants. I also had several emphatically claim not to have a book in the house.

Thoughts on the triviality of the media:

Is Michael Jackson still dead? I think I just flipped through channels successfully with no mention of it. Feeling confused.

On being a dad:

Baby vomit smells like really intense Parmesan cheese. I'm not happy to know this.

On irony about the complete corruption in our government that no one blinks at. That newspaper headline in quotes still amazes:

"Goldman employees told no big purchases." Isn't that what Jimmy told his crew in Goodfellas after the Lufthansa heist? Draw any parallels you wish.

More on fatherhood:

One good thing about being bald, I'm the only one in the family who doesn't get their hair pulled by the baby.

More on how much the media sucks:

I'm not sure, given the Michael Jackson feeding frenzy, whether the American media providing the needless details, or the population consuming it, should be more ashamed and embarrassed. Are we as a people really this gossipy and trivial?

General thoughts:

The greatest nickname in history has to be "The Edge," though "Magic" as in Johnson would be a close second.

On the dumbness on the extremes in public debate:

46 million Americans don't have health insurance, which is shitty and doesn't cover enough anyway. The richest 300,000 Americans have more wealth than the bottom 150 million. Can we stop this stupid socialist crap already!

On polls:

Jeff picked the five "People you would like to Punch In The Face!".
George Bush, Gilbert Gottfried, Bankers, 2004 Red Sox Team and Any TSA agent.

On media and public overreaction:

Wondering what Michael Phelps could have accomplished if pot didn't destroy his ambition.

More on our lousy media:

As best I can tell from the news, the only things going on in the world are that Tiger Woods has the peculiarity of wanting to escape from his boring job by having sex with very hot women -- other than his smoking Swedish wife, and Obama throws such amazing parties that two people risked criminal prosecution to do the... electric slide or something at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

On Black Friday:

Tired of the Black Friday hype. There is a good chance you don't really need it.

Reaction to seeing a world class incompetent re-elected:

Congratulations CNMI. Much like the U.S. in 2004, with the clear warning signs, you re-elected a corrupt, incompetent, misguided moron. That is what you deserve.

On Belicheck's call against the Colts backed up deep in his own territory on Sunday Night Football:

There are few greater sports joys than seeing an arrogant, joyless SOB like Bill Belichick facilitate one of the great single game collapses in football history by pulling an epic blunder with all eyes watching.

Thoughts on more physical activity:

Was asked to be Santa Claus at my school's holiday party for the little kids. Somehow I don't think I was asked because I'm so jolly. Time to exercise.

Analogy of the Day

2010-02-07T09:06:00.000+10:00

I nominate this for analogy of the day:

"Thanks to botox, lasers, and all the other products and cosmetic treatments, so many older women look fantastic now that it's like trying to figure out which potential Hall of Fame receivers or sluggers from the '90s and '00s should be Hall of Famers."

From the Bill Simmons mailbag

Classic Cartoon

2010-01-04T10:10:00.000+10:00

Love this cartoon!

Trip down good memory lane

2010-01-03T02:43:00.005+10:00

Was clearing out my storage shed over Christmas Break and found an old disk from some very fun times when I was a fledgling bass player. While teaching in Korea I started a band called Modeum Jigae, Korean for Mixed Soup, since our band had members from all different countries: Tom "Noddy" Elcock was our singer and the band diplomat, James DeSantis was the shy lead singer who hid in the background, our Korean drummer was a quiet guy and one of my students whose name escapes me, and I was the one who pushed to get everything going. Here we are playing Neil Young's Needle and the Damage Done at the Big Electric Cat in the Itaewon section of Seoul, Korea. By the time we started getting somewhere my contract was up and I decided to move to Saipan, even though I was really enjoying being in the band and and we were getting better. I'm very glad I did this.

Bilingual and ESL Classrooms

2009-12-21T02:55:00.003+10:00

If anyone is interested in purchasing the textbook Bilingual & ESL Classrooms by Carlos Ovando, Mary Carol Combs and Virginia Collier, please email me at turbittj@yahoo.com. I purchased one for $50 in the summer for the Arizona SEI Course I had to take, and would be happy to pass it along for something in that ballpark to recoup my investment and save you some money as well. I am in the Phoenix West Valley. Used versions are $66 on Amazon, and new ones are like $275, which is slightly more of an outrage than the recent banking bailout.

Bush redux

2009-11-25T15:13:00.006+10:00

The only upside to Fitial's victory is that I'm eager to see the opus written by Ed Propst capturing the outrage over the cosmic absurdity of what just happened. This event is an eery reminder of Bush's re-election in 2004: Very obviously a bad decision at the time, but a cautious "let's stick with our guy" mindset. With warning signs more than clear, a selfish electorate in an issueless race, drunk on fear given recent events, again empowered a dipshit. Let me restate -- maybe the shock will wear off: Saipan, on the precipice of complete meltdown, re-elected a demonstrably corrupt, incompetent, misguided moron. I can't help but think that this is what is deserved. I've not been this annoyed by something that has so little impact on me in a long time.
***
For anyone curious about the origin of the pic, I google imaged WTF and went with that one.

The Yankees win, the Yankees win.

2009-11-09T10:01:00.008+10:00

The Yankees won their 27th World Series this week. As usual, I followed the entire post season very closely. There are several things that stuck out to me about the experience.

Yankee fans have become extremely negative. Not one time in this post season were the Yankees in trouble. The only time they were down in any of the rounds was when they trailed 0-1 in the World Series to a Phillies team with exactly one good pitcher. How that team went that far with so little pitching remains a mystery. Yet the sense of doom was always palpable among the fan base. The Yankees had some key games, but they never really had a must win game in the entire post season. In following the fan reaction on WFAN in New York, on Twitter, and in the frequent texts between friends, so much worry and negativity was evident that I am not sure these fans could really enjoy this team's success. That joylessness defeats the purpose of the vast time suckage of following sports.

The most depressing thing for a fan, to me, is to follow the very long regular season, and then for your team to undergo a quick exit in the wild card series. Your team plays 162 games to qualify, and then they can be bounced out in three games in the division series. That has happened to the Yankees a lot in the last ten years, which I suppose is where some of this negativity came from. They were bounced in round one in 2o02, 2005, 2006 and 2007. In 2008 they didn't make the playoffs for the first time in fifteen years and went on a spending spree for the ages. With a division series loss, the season is just over in a blink. Such a quick and unsatisfying ending makes you feel like a chump for watching all year. When it is a great series, such as the famous 1995 series against Seattle, it is easier to live with. In all those other years, it wasn't even much of a series. For many of those years, the biggest issue was living up to the amazing success of the 1996 to 2001 teams. I took the above picture in 1999 when I was working in New York city and had a company office on Wall Street. This team in 2009 looked a lot more like those vaunted teams in the relentlessness and the comebacks.

I think some negativity also comes from that and from scars from the Boston collapse in 2004, not to mention the still grating World Series loss in 2003 to the Marlins when the Yankees underperformed. This joylessness, which wasn't even as bad as it was in previous years, is still overblown in my opinion.

The other striking thing is how brilliant Mariano Rivera still is at nearly 40 years old. I think every Yankee fan is either a Jeter guy or a Rivera guy. I'm a Rivera guy and always have been. I pulled this from Jon Heyman's column:

For the 19th time in 29 postseason series, Rivera did not allow a run. His
patented cutter is a mystery to practically everyone, but especially to National
League batters who haven't seen it. He actually lowered his lifetime 0.77
postseason ERA to 0.74 by allowing one run in 16 innings. He might be the most
valuable player of his generation.

The other striking thing about being a Yankees fan is that nothing can match 1996. For Red Sox fans, I'm sure the same can be said about 2004. In 1996, the Yankees were the underdog. They hadn't won in 18 years. They lost the first two games of the World Series to the Braves. No one expected them to come back. Then Cone gutted one out. Then Leyritz hit that homerun, then Pettite beat Smoltz 1-0 and then Girardi hit that triple at the stadium. As great as this post season run was, nothing in my lifetime of watching sports can match the joy of 1996.

Very disappointed in Obama so far

2009-11-09T08:57:00.005+10:00

I see the Congress just passed the watered down health care bill. There are a few improvements such as removing the whole pre-existing condition scam, but overall this, like the entire Obama presidency thus far, is a vast disappointment. It's nice not to have a complete moron in charge, but the man is far too willing to compromise with lunatics who never have and never will be reasonable or play fair.

When Bush was in office, that crop had the votes and just did what it wanted to do. They give the impression they at least believed in all their evil, misguided deeds. The Dems, as always, are wishy washy and spineless. They send the message they don't even really believe in what they're doing. Obama can't even tell students to take responsibility for themselves, set goals and study hard without it becoming a controversy. At my school all the teachers were given an explicit directive not to show Obama's speech, not that I planned to. This made me half wonder if I was still allowed to tell my students to study hard and set goals for themselves. That phony controversy should have made everything clear to him about the crop he was trying to woo.

This week the Democrats lost a governorship in a Democratic state, my state, of New Jersey. I would bet the house they lose the house in the mid-terms next election. What will be left is this presidency will be Clinton without the sex scandals -- a talented man accomplishing little and being a vast disappointment. I hope I'm wrong.

U2 in Glendale

2009-11-08T04:23:00.010+10:00

Somehow my seldom blog updates have become U2 centric. I didn't plan it that way, and while I'm still a big fan, I'm not in the enthrall I once was. Regardless, I've been meaning to sit down and relate my thoughts on the show here two weeks ago.

I haven't seen the band since the unfairly maligned Popmart album and tour in 1997, which I saw at Giants Stadium. I also saw them in 1992 in about the third total Achtung Baby concert in Charlotte, North Carolina. I was in college back then and didn't know them as well at that point. Being overseas for a long time, I missed several of the tours. I got to make up for that lost opportunity by seeing a great show at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale a few weeks ago.

For this 360 tour, U2 set up an a general admission area known as "the pit." There is a large ring around the stage, and the enclosed area closest to the stage is "the pit." It is not the most comfortable place to wait or watch a concert, as it is standing room only and crowded, but given that most concerts with actual seats, at least up close, are standing room only, this isn't the end of the world -- no pun intended. The general admission tickets in the pit area are not unreasonable -- in fact they are very moderately priced at about $60. I dropped by at the opening of the line up-just to check it out at around 11 am. There were several people there already at that time. The arena opened up at 5 to allow people in, and that's when I got there -- about three hours before the show. This was still plenty of time to get into the pit, which is the way I'd recommend seeing the show. I was about 12 feet from the stage. If I waited all day, I'd have been about 4 feet away. I was happy with that trade.

The band connects the center stage to the outer rings with a movable bridge. I took the above picture of the Edge, who was literally that far away. The man is a guitar genius. I love his use of guitar effects. The band is an entirely different experience that close. I saw Dave Matthews last Summer from row six, and then again in May from the lawn. The first was a seminal experience-- perhaps also because they chose a particularly inspired set list that night. The latter felt like a pointless ripoff being that far away. It cost about $90 for two sets with indistinct sound and a visual set up I could barely see from so far. The lawn has its charm for some, but I won't do it again, and these shed tours are pretty much the norm these days. How many arena acts do we even still have?

For the U2 shows, I've read different reports on the sound quality being weak in the upper areas, but in the pit area the sound was immaculate. Bono radiates a real personableness and a general stage presence and humanity that really puts him high on the list of people I most admire. The concert helped build some appreciation for the band's latest album, which is good, but is definitely not great. The set list included some less renowned favorites like Ultraviolet and the Unforgettable Fire, and other classics like Streets Have No Names. My only disappointment is that Bad wasn't on the set list, which I happen to think is the best song of the 80s. They have played it on other stops of this tour. I just watched the streaming youtube cast they did from Los Angeles, and that has been a nice way to relive it as well -- a far better value than the $45 t-shirts.

My little ladybug

2009-11-08T04:13:00.002+10:00

My little ladybug had quite the Halloween. Some of the best days of my life are when we go on our Saturday afternoon dates together. She's already a fan of fried calamari and fine cuisine in general.

Having kids is a chance to be a kid again

2009-10-23T13:52:00.005+10:00

I've been really blessed to have some really fantastic children, and a heck of a sweet wife who doubles as their mom. What I'm disovering is that having kids is a chance to be a kid again. I do all kinds of stuff I never did, or haven't done in years like playing wiffle ball, pickup basketball, going to laser tag, racing go carts, going to amusement parks, having chicken fights in the pool, giving nuggies to my older boy and throwing wet socks at both the boys in the pool. I never had a younger brother, so this is my chance to be both dad and sometimes big brother/tormentor.

It's one louder

2009-10-04T10:17:00.001+10:00

I think I was trying to see if that amp went up to 11

Bootleg technology has come a long, long way

2009-07-19T06:53:00.001+10:00

HD is really amazing. Props to the camerman.

Night Train - pretty good for a B movie

2009-06-14T03:32:00.005+10:00

I grabbed this flick at Blockbuster the other night on a whim. I knew little of it. It's a decided B-movie without, as I later found out, even a single review at Rottentomatoes.com. My biggest concern was the cover, which suggested it might be a gruesome, mindless slasher film. It isn't. It turned out to be a pretty good choice.

Night Train is a story of three strangers that meet aboard a train on one snowy night -- one with ridiculously few passengers and not much of a business model. Danny Glover is the train's conductor, Leelee Sobieski is the hot, but unhinged med student, and Steve Zahn is the scheming, eccentric salesman. When a nameless passenger dies shortly after boarding their car, Zahn and Sobieski discover he was carrying a box containing a fortune in diamonds. Together they plot to dispose of the man's body and keep the box's contents for themselves. All manner of paranoia, double-crosses and murder follows. There also may be something more sinister and mysterious to this box than any of them suspect.

The movie is a homage to movies of yore -- dumbed down Hitchcock. The scenery and setting is very appealing. The characters are beguiling. The ending, however, is absurd, and ruins what could almost have been a fantastic movie. Overall, it is still worth a watch.

Putting the band back together, sort of

2009-06-07T05:46:00.009+10:00

I lost all interest in blogging for a while and wanted to take a break, but I'm thinking of getting back into it. I like the idea of keeping a journal.

Topics will be a hodge podge of whatever interests me at the moment. It will be niche oriented and in flux. I suspect I will probably be writing about things like Phoenix restaurants, film, comedians and professional sports. I've been gone from Saipan for a year now, so that won't be a topic.

The school year is over and I'm in the midst of doing a number of things like shopping for my first house, getting some health problems evaluated and I'm planning on taking a comedy course that concludes with a set at the Tempe Improv. I'm also hoping to really explore Arizona, and will probably drive out to Las Vegas, which will be my first time there. If fate should smile on me, I'm hoping to get out to either Belize or Roatan to do some diving and to try ziplining. I don't even have a passport right now, which shows how life has changed for me. I applied and that problem should be fixed. Travel to even the Caribbean is impossible without one now.

Alex just completed kindergarten and his growth amazes. He reads up a storm and is very inquisitive. He asked me the other day if God was real. I heard him use the word "addicted" in a sentence -- in his case a reference to his feelings about a videogame, which I thought a pretty impressive word choice for a six-year-old.

My Ashley is developing quite the personality. I can't get over how fast she is growing. I take her in the pool most every day. She walks around "supervising" the place constantly.

U2 - Magnificent Live on David Letterman

2009-03-08T01:27:00.001+10:00

This is my favorite tune off the new U2 album. It's truncated, and Bono is losing his voice to an extent, but it's still cool.

U2 No Line on the Horizon out today

2009-03-04T10:38:00.004+10:00

I got my copy of the new U2 album from Amazon already. I've just finished my first listen, and so far I'm impressed. I'm also looking forward to seeing these guys in concert, as is Cynthia. They have some clunkers of course, but I still find their recent, and not very frequent, albums generally very impressive and not just a nostalgia act.

Mitch Fatel

2009-03-03T14:10:00.001+10:00

I saw Mitch Fatel last night at the Tempe Improv. What a fantastic show. He had a packed crowd on a Sunday night and I talked to him a few minutes after the show. Cool dude and great comedian.

How does anyone hit major league pitching?

2009-03-03T13:44:00.009+10:00

The weather hit like 90 degrees, so it seemed like a pretty good time to take in my first Cactus League game. There is a real quiet to the crowd, which was small, and an intimacy to these games, at least versus the regular season. I was able to get right up on the bullpen, where I remain astonished that anyone can get even a foul tip in major league baseball. The ball comes in like a blur, and this guy throwing isn't exactly Nolan Ryan by major league standards. Omar Vizquel, the wizard at shortstop, was the big attraction for the Indians fans.

The Wrestler is a haunting film

2009-03-02T02:49:00.008+10:00

I'm not a fan of professional wrestling, and other than a brief period in the early '80s, never was, but the movie "The Wrestler" blew my mind. A week after seeing it, the stark realism of this film, most notably in its highly relatable and sympathetic main character Randy 'The Ram' Robinson, still haunts me. Wrestling is the backdrop, but the movie is really about being lost as a person, clinging to the familiar, simple survival in a rapidly changing world and searching for human connections.

Randy pursues a stripper nearing the end of her run named Cassidy, played brilliantly by Marisa Tomei. Her embrace of change stands in contrast to Randy's more innocent and naive approach to life. Both use their bodies to make a living, and time is the enemy of both, but the difference is Randy genuinely loves what he does and can't think of what else to do. Cassidy doesn't like what she does, but can't think of what else to do, either.

The fact that the movie is set in New Jersey, and filmed in a particularly grim winter with a typically plain yet powerful Springsteen tune as its theme song, adds even more -- at least for me personally.

The film displays much insight into what the real world of professional wrestling is like -- especially on the "has been" circuit in local school gymnasiums, as well as the physical toll the sport takes on a body. Wrestlers often find an early grave, which is documented here. I remember attending a few of these bouts at my local high school when I was a kid. I recently watched the extensive Charlie Rose interview with Mickey Rourke and the actor really does come off as similarly chastened and longing to "get back" as the character he plays. This was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.

Laser Floyd hits Phoenix

2009-02-23T02:17:00.003+10:00

Laser Floyd came to Phoenix this weekend. The tickets were pretty reasonable, getting around and parking in Phoenix is much easier than the typical big city, and it was quite a display.

All Star Jam Session Crazy Dunk

2009-02-19T11:05:00.005+10:00

The NBA All Star Game was in Phoenix this weekend. I went to NBA Jam on Monday and saw this dude pull one crazy stunt -- a backflip slam dunk

Lil Hammerhead outed as Roberta Guerrero

2009-02-12T12:57:00.031+10:00

Saipan is too small an island for things to remain a secret for too long. Today Roberta Guerrero was seen editing her "Must Be the Humidity" blog at Java Joes. That's Lil Hammerhead on the left with Killili Sablan and Tina Sablan, the two people her blog is dedicating to venerating -- and who happen to be by far the two best CNMI leaders out there. I'm sure about Roberta. I have two sources. This isn't guesswork or speculation. There is an eyewitness. Beyond that, when you're married to a Filipina who has been on the island for fifteen years, you join a network that gets you a lot of eyes and ears in a lot of places. I knew this would happen eventually.

Comments were made about this on Monkey Picture's blog, and the comments were deleted. I followed up with the same comments, and she deleted mine as well. It's a designed conversation after all. What a phony! She never deleted it or went so bananas when people said Lil Hammerhead was Ed Propst, but she's going ballistic now. Ed has always stood by his own comments anyway. I'm going to write a very short letter to the editor about this to the Marianas Variety because the squirming will be delicious. Heck, maybe she'll get a Stanley Torres resolution, or maybe he'll buy her a drink. So, the secret is out there. "Must Be the Humidity" is written by Roberta Guerrero, who was described to me as one of the "Godfather's Hags." I don't know anything about her, but the fight is now fair. This cockroach has a big flashlight on her and she's scurrying. Feel free to vent about Roberta -- especially if you are anonymous --- the more salacious the better. She certainly had no problem doing that anonymously to many others. Get ready to take the heat Roberta. I can just imagine you dropping that coffee cup at Java Joes -- kind of like a reverse Dave Kujan at the end of The Usual Suspects when he realizes who Keyser Soze is.

Update: Roberta is not taking her newfound fame very well. Roberta is also getting googled up a storm. She is screeching like a banshee about me in two posts on her blog. My prediction is that she fades away or starts anew under a different name now that she's been outed and the other side can fire back at her. Such is the way of the gutless. Some are trying to muddle the simple truth about Roberta, but it's out there now and you can't put that toothpaste back in the tube no matter how hard you try.

Update Number Two: Here have been the tactics Roberta has used to sweep this under the rug. First, let's just delete all the comments and references to Roberta Guerrero. That didn't work, so she moved on to number two: Bruce Bateman said something mean. Let's call MVA and make this about Bruce. When the absurdity of that was dismissed, she went to number three: I will sue this blogger because this post hurt my feelings. After that silliness is dismissed, I can't wait to see number four. Roberta is up to like five posts about me. She can't get enough. This has made her more unhinged than I ever dreamed. The last leg of her rocker has been shattered like a bat after a Mariano Rivera cutter. Someone commented about doing a full background check on Roberta and having it published. While I'm not going there on this blog, I wonder how she'll react if and when those people follow through. My guess, not well at all.

If you build it, they might not come

2009-02-08T12:19:00.004+10:00

Part of the reason I left Saipan is that I wanted my boys to have better access to sports both as players and fans. For me, major league baseball and professional football rank very high on the interest scale -- with the NBA a very distant third. This wasn't always the case. I remember very distinctly my father taking me to see Julius Erving play in the Spectrum circa 1980 and that ignited a strong interest in the NBA. I went to the 1982 NBA All Star Game in New Jersey, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was horrible that day, and many other games with my dad or my Uncle Freddy. I watched the famous 1980 Lakers Sixers tape delayed NBA finals on a Friday night late at my grandmother's house with my uncle and was not happy with the result.

That interest in the NBA faded drastically while my interest in major league baseball increased dramatically. I've probably been to at least 100 major league games and have seen many different stadiums. My boys are very much into basketball, which is an interest they developed on their own. With some encouragement they really got into the NFL and football in general this year. Despite some mild prodding by me, they don't seem to give a hoot about baseball.

I was talking to one of my colleagues, who is also the athletic director at my school and a baseball coach, and he was relating that he barely has enough players to get a baseball team together. This is out in sunny, nearly rainless Arizona where a kid could play baseball year round. The ones who do come out for baseball, he said, tend to be the chubbiest, least athletic sort -- who are mostly afraid of the ball. Many teens find baseball "boring" -- they find most everything boring, but that's another rant for another day. My colleague thinks baseball is about twenty years from being dead in this country, and I think he might be right. Major league baseball, for the moment, continues to post record revenues, but I've been to enough games to know that it is a very gray haired and white demographic at those games. I've spent enough time in Asia to know that basketball is rising there, and baseball barely exists, though it certainly holds sway in Japan and to a small extent in Korea, but I'm a bit worried that our "National Pastime" is falling victim to today's prolific ADHD culture.

I'm not going to fight the trend too much. Right now I'm coaching my son Carl, who is on the sixth grade boys basketball team at school. He is by far the smallest kid in his class, but he is really an amazing ball handler. We did get smoked in our first game, and while this didn't came as a surprise to me, I found out real quick I'm not exactly John Wooden. I'm hoping to get him in a basketball camp this summer so he can develop his skills. We have three games coming up this week, and I think our team will improve. I'm going to make him at least try little league this spring. I think he might change his mind about the game.

Action shots

2009-02-08T05:03:00.004+10:00

She has two big brothers and a protective dad helping her enjoy her first ever slide.

Random thoughts of late

2009-01-26T06:17:00.011+10:00

Last Saturday I made mariscada for dinner, a pitcher of Sangria and watched "The Song Remains the Same" with my baby girl on my digital projector. I forgot about the famous "Dazed and Confused" clip where Jimmy Page plays with a violin bow. That concert film, preposterous and pretentious in parts of course, takes a lot of heat, but there are some brilliant moments and the No Quarter/Song Remains the Same/Rain Song section ranks really high for seamless transitions of brilliance and innovation. The only thing that flows together as well that I can think of is the Mean Mr. Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came in Through the Bathroom Window section of Abbey Road.
***

I love Ancient history, especially that of Rome, Greece and Egypt. This isn't the best set of podcasts I've heard on these topics, but it is very good and it's free. This one is much better, but it costs money. I got it as a gift from a friend. There are countless others on that website I'd like to have. When traveling, or just farting around in line at the bank or shopping, I absolutely love having access to these lectures and podcasts. There are tons of free podcasts at Itunes. Some of these things pile up, and traveling gives me a chance to catch up on a lot of them.

***

I love the movies, but find the vast majority wretched beyond belief. I'm not the biggest Eastwood fan, but I plunked down $9.50 and saw Gran Torino last week, and it is a really good film. It captures the generational divide especially pointedly at the vacuous nature of the current one.

I also saw Slumdog Millionaire, and while I liked it, I wasn't overwhelmed or anything. It is a very dark film for sure. It captures India and poverty really well. I saw a Filipino film called Cavite, which also captured poverty really well, but the overall plot of that film was nowhere near as realistic as Slumdog Millionaire. Prior to that I saw Nixon/Frost. I've read and seen a lot about Nixon, who was before my time. The most striking thing about him I think what is that what Bush did is so much worse, but Nixon paid a much higher price. Nixon was chased out and largely ostracized for far less damaging over the top political shenanigans -- crimes for sure, but can they really compare to what W did. Bush will most likely get away with far worse crimes such as lying about reasons for war, torture, extraordinary rendition, the Scooter Libby commutation, asleep during Katrina, the Alberto Gonzales attorney purge scandal and the general politicization of the Attorney General's office, snooping on citizens et al.

***
I'm normally skeptical of celebrities hawking things out of their area of renown, but I was especially impressed with the Estefan Kitchen cookbook and bought a copy last week. I scanned numerous Cuban cookbooks at my local Barnes and Noble and I thought this one was the most useful by far.

***
My sister is a big fan of Bill Burr. I think he belabors some of his bits too much, but I like his style and agree with her on his talents. He's coming to the Phoenix area in May. Mitch Fatel will be here late next month, and I will doubtlessly check out that show.

***
I wonder if this was humbling at all for U2, whose new album and doubtless tour I'm looking forward to seeing. Legendary band at historical moment in a monumental location and all of Bono's efforts can't warm up that frozen stiff crowd.

In case I need a mood lifter

2009-01-21T16:33:00.007+10:00

I want this image easily accessible for those dark, depressing or sad moments. I was only slightly comforted that the rest of the country finally "got" what an inept clown this guy was --five years too late for what was painfully obvious on day one. His legacy: financial wreckage centered on an unimaginable debt, joblessness, homes lost, medical care unaffordable, millions of Iraqis dead, thousands of Americans killed or maimed, the terrorist who killed 3,000 Americans still at-large, the language butchered, our global prestige dissipated, the culture even more dumbed down and the document he promised to "preserve, protect and defend" pissed on. Good riddance.

David Letterman George Bush Finale Top Ten List

2009-01-18T03:10:00.001+10:00

I think number eight says it all.

It's not kryptonite

2009-01-02T16:14:00.003+10:00

I picked up a Himalayan Crystal Rock Salt Lamp in Sedona and I love it. So far it hasn't drained any of my non-existing superpowers.

Malcolm Gladwell's new book Outliers

2009-01-02T15:55:00.003+10:00

I read this book in its entirety last night, which means I found it pretty compelling. I've read Malcolm Gladwell's two previous books, Blink and the Tipping Point, and I liked both of them and the author's manner of presenting scholarly research in a rich, vibrant style with lots of anecdotes and personalized stories. This book takes a look at what factors determine wild success stories, as well as the role of culture as it impacts success in certain endeavors. His chapter on why Asians succeed in math was especially fascinating. There were a few dull sections, and some of the conclusions about education I think are way removed from the real world, but overall this is a fantastic read.

New Years Day in Sedona

2009-01-02T12:35:00.006+10:00

Budae jigae: One of the first Korean fusion dishes

2008-12-30T08:32:00.008+10:00

When I was teaching in Korea some friends told me about this famous stew called Budae Jigae, which roughly translated means, "Military Soup." Everyone prefaces the description by saying, "It sounds horrible, but," which is a fair assessment. When food was scarce in the Korean War period people improvised and came up with this fusion soup of traditional Korean red pepper broth and added the hot dogs and spam that were readily available. It takes something like this to make me touch Spam with a ten foot pole, but I have to admit, this is pretty good food. The items below are fairly standard, but people have been known to add bulgogi, baked beans and rice cakes. If the idea of spam and hot dogs is too horrifying, one variation is to omit those and use a can of tuna. This is basically called chamchi jigae, and is also very good. It sounds strange, but it is a nice dish. Serve it over rice of course.

3 tablespoons Korean soup stock mix
3-4 cups water
2-3 tablespoons gochujang or more if you like it even spicier
2 hot dogs sliced up
2 slices spam
2 green onions chopped up
3 garlic cloves chopped
tofu
1 or 2 packages of ramen noodles
bean sprouts
leafy vegetable like kale
kim chi, of course

From the Bill Simmons mailbag

2008-12-27T10:44:00.001+10:00

Q: How hilarious would it be if President Bush pardoned O.J.???!!! I just think that would be a great ending to a terrible presidency! He'd go out with a bang.-- Gian Gonz, Austin, Texas

SG: This idea slayed me for some reason -- not the premise as much as how everyone would react to the news. I think it would make Bill Maher self-combust. He'd just explode like a hot-air balloon.

Foxy

2008-12-26T08:52:00.004+10:00

I was strolling down memory lane this morning looking at old pictures, and this one struck me. I'd see some awfully strange stuff living in Korea.

Out in the open in one of the most polluted cities on earth, Incheon, it might seem like a good idea to wrap up those chickens sitting quite close to the exhaust fumes on this pick up. It was cold as hell that day, I'm not sure ice was the most important idea to be had.

And how many eggs exactly can fit on one motor scooter, which leads me to the Ja Ja Myeong problem as philosophers call it. In Korea, restaurants will deliver food to your place in minutes, and they'll give you real plates. They come around and collect the plates and silverware from your hallway an hour or so later. Tipping is also forbidden. If you try to tip them, they'll refuse. The drivers take their scooters on snow and ice and take quite a few nasty spills. If you screw up in high school, noodle deliveryman is pretty much your fate. Late bloomers aren't such a huge feature of Korean society. I'd pose the question to my students on whether these guys were nuts to deliver food for little money risking life and limb, or noble servants doing their duty. Most sided with the latter option.
I used to live in this little office tel in Incheon, and I do mean small. I never knew any of my neighbors. I'd just hear the click of high heels late at night. The only people who would live in that place were English teachers, a ubiquitous lot in Korea, and room salon girls, who were equally ubiquitous. Korean businessmen pay a couple hundred dollars to sing karaoke, eat fruit and drink whiskey with young, attractive Korean women. Supposedly that was all that went on. Around that apartment I would see several ajummas, the perm was the telltale sign, carrying off the cardboard in their rickshaws.

Now this is a warning sign. How many drunken, pregnant, old people attempt to ride a roller coaster? Unrelated to Korean experiences, but I took this in the late 90s on the Staten Island Ferry. It still seems like some kind of bizarre movie idea that those towers went the way they did.

Peruvian Aji Verde Sauce

2008-12-24T18:14:00.008+10:00

When I worked in New York City I used to have lunch as much as possible at a place called Sophies. It's cheap, it's good, and it's different. The key to the whole restaurant was their slightly spicy green sauce they'd offer for most anything. There are a lot of people who have discussed this sauce on the internet. It's killer. I tried to make it many moons ago and failed miserably using green bell peppers. I tried it again today and came real close. It looks and is prepared like a pesto, though cilantro and peppers are the key. Normally I don't go lightly on things like garlic and onion, but too much of either will ruin this sauce. It needs just a touch. Put all these in the blender and puree it all. It's great with rice, chicken, pork or most anything.

3/4 cup of cilantro leaves

1/3 cup olive oil

one garlic clove

2 jalapeno peppers (stemmed and seeded to taste)

1/4 of one green onion

dash of lime juice

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

salt and pepper

I'm going to add Cotija Cheese next time. I think the Cotija is what made the Sophies' version slightly whiter in color. Cotija is salty, which is something to keep in mind.

Santas turn to Civil Disobedience

2008-12-24T05:14:00.001+10:00

One of the most annoying features of the Phoenix Metropolitan Area is the police state method of having photo radar everywhere. If you are driving more than ten miles over the speed limit, you get flashed by the all seeing eye like Britney Spears tongue kissing Paris Hilton at a paparazzi convention, and a near $200 ticket arrives in the mail. My major beef is that the speed limit keeps changing on the highway, so what is legal on one stretch of highway with the cruise control set, suddenly becomes illegal and expensive. I've not been ticketed, though I got flashed once. Overall, photo radar is not very popular. Some people have spray painted the lenses, taken target practice with paintball guns, simply covered them up, or in this case, knocked them out with Christmas cheer. This state is regressive enough with its obscene 10 percent sales tax, so three cheers for the Kris Kringle vigilantes.

Mr. October is only a compliment in baseball, not football

2008-12-21T15:03:00.003+10:00

Man is it frustrating being a Dallas Cowboys fan over the last twelve years. This team is underachieving and is finding creative and disturbing ways to lose. I invested my Saturday night in the debacle against the Ravens. The Cowboys traded a first and third round pick to the Lions for Roy Williams, then gave him the second largest wide receiver contract and the guy is absolutely no factor at all. I'm so sick of the underachieving and whiny Terrell Owens there aren't words. The rookie sensation Felix Jones got knocked out for the season without even playing. Somehow his hamstring harmed his toe. I don't get that one. The team has a lousy coach, which continues the trend going on since the owner fired one of the best coaches ever in Jimmy Johnson fifteen years ago. Other than Bill Parcells, the Cowboys have not had a competent coach in all that time as it went from Barry Switzer, the worst ever, to Chan Gailey, forgettable but not as bad as others, Dave Campo, a complete disaster, Parcells, did some good things but the team always faded late and Parcells came up with the hair brained idea to make Vinny Testaverde the starting QB at 40 plus, and now the comatose Wade Phillips.

On the baseball front, the Yankees are doing an even better job of giving money to rich people than the Bush administration. A.J. Burnett killed the Yankees, and the Red Sox for that matter, over the last several years, and if he stays healthy will probably be a good signing, but I have to wonder about 290 pounds of CC Sabathia in the August heat at Yankee Stadium. This guy couldn't close out the Red Sox with a 3-1 series lead in the 2007 ALCS and now gets seven years and $161 million. Yikes. I have more faith in Burnett at about half that price. The Yankees are going to be more hated than ever with this over the top spending spree. No one was bidding even close to what they gave Sabathia, and who still wasn't in any rush to be a Yankee and has a three year escape clause in his bloated contract. The ticket prices at the new Yankee Stadium will be completely off the chain.

Black beans and rice with mojo marinated onions

2008-12-18T12:46:00.007+10:00

I'm not one normally for vegetarian meals, but this is one I like: black beans and rice with sliced raw onion marinated in mojo, which requires:

1/3 cup olive oil
1 orange
1 lime
1 lemon
4 garlic cloves chopped
ground cumin
oregano

To make the marinade, I heated up the olive oil over medium heat and cooked the garlic about 90 seconds. I wouldn't even call it cooking, just trying to extract some of the flavor. I then combined the oil with the juice of one orange, one lemon and one lime and mixed in the cumin and oregano and let the onions marinate in there a couple hours. The marinade takes some of the punch out of the raw onion aspect, and I then just topped them over some black beans and rice, and garnished with a fair bit of fresh cilantro. The extra marinade is good for pork chops as well, which I think work best grilled, and from experience I do not recommend marinating the chops excessively -- just a couple of hours.

Getting even cuter and showing lots of personality

2008-12-16T14:57:00.006+10:00

This sweetie is developing quite the personality now at eight months, moving around quite a bit, showing reckless disregard for her head, which she bumps frequently, and is definitely in the Christmas spirit thanks to mom.

And Alex is now six years old and has quite the keen sense of humor.

Portuguese style chicken in garlic sauce

2008-12-04T18:33:00.008+10:00

My second favorite Portuguese dish is chicken in garlic sauce. I've tried it recently in different attempts using white wine, sherry and brandy. The white wine version seemed too conventional, the sherry just didn't catch me in the mood I guess, but the brandy was just right. This dish requires a lot of garlic. I served this with a packaged saffron rice, and to see what would happen, I tried a mix of white wine and chicken stock in lieu of water to cook the rice. The result was damn good. It turned out like a creamy risotto, so that ode to spontaneity worked out well.

Ingredients
2 lbs chicken thighs
splash of olive oil around pan
8-12 garlic cloves
1/3 cup brandy
1/2 cup chicken stock
4 saffron threads
chopped parsley

1. Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and cook the garlic. Remove garlic from the pan.

2. Cut up the chicken pieces, add salt and pepper, and saute them in the oil. Chopping them up makes them cook faster and throughout.

3. When chicken is brown and cooked through, return garlic to pan, pour in chicken stock.

4. Pour in the brandy. Do not pour brandy into a hot pan or it will flair dramatically.

5. Add saffron threads.

6. Simmer over medium high heat until sauce thickens a bit.

7. Garnish with chopped parsley.

Coldplay concludes U.S. tour in Phoenix

2008-11-28T04:42:00.008+10:00

I saw Coldplay in Glendale last night as they concluded their American tour, and it was one of the most creative concerts I've ever seen. It was also the first non-amphitheater concert I've seen in a very long time. I'm guessing U2 circa 1997 was the last one I saw that wasn't in one of those sheds. The show had many highs and a few disappointments. One of the best parts was the spectacular laser show. Short of Pink Floyd and probably U2, I'm not sure I've seen any band incorporate the visual element as well as Coldplay did last night. During the song Lovers in Japan they had tons of butterfly paper cutouts in fluorescent colors come streaming down, which were all lit up. The picture in the bottom gives an idea of what it was like. When darkened in the arena, it created a spectacular effect. They had a series of disco balls with visual images of the performers throughout the arena as well. The whole band walked literally into the crowd, with only mild security really, which put the whole band about 3 feet from me, which rarely happens in an arena concert and was quite cool. They played a few tunes in the aisle right next to the crowd in the cheaper seats, and I mean right there. Chris Martin is a top notch arena rock front man -- personable, talented and energetic. The only real downside to the show is that it was a bit short at maybe ninety minutes, and the ending was sudden and anticlimactic with only one encore. For what concert ticket costs in this day and age, the band should err on the side of pumping out a few extra songs. Their best song Clocks had a new, faster and not improved arrangement, and they didn't play several of my favorite songs like Daylight, Moses and others. Overall, it was a very impressive concert that offered an enhanced appreciation of their latest album.
***
I'm gone from Saipan, but glad to see not forgotten, as the whole family made the Marianas Variety thankful list for the fourth year. Very cool.

Variations on a theme

2008-11-25T12:29:00.003+10:00

I made shrimp fra diavlo last week and it turned out pretty well, so I tried it with mussels tonight and it was even better. Wal Mart sells frozen mussels that are already cleaned and ready to go for about $2 pound, so my mussel consumption has increased dramatically. They're quick, easy and cheap, which is the right combination. I think the key to this dish is a fair amount of spice and not to skimp on the onions. I eased up on the onions last time and regretted it. I served it over linguine. The pic is the one I made.

3 tablespoon olive oil
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large chopped onion
1/2 cup white wine
1 12 ounce can diced tomatoes with juice
1 small can tomato paste to thicken the sauce
1 pound mussels
red pepper flakes
top with chopped parsley and basil

Heat oil in large frying pan over medium heat.
Add the garlic and onions, cook briefly until fragrant
Add the can of diced tomatoes with juices
Add the wine
Bring the mixture to the boil and add the mussels, cook 3-5 minutes
Thicken the sauce with a can of tomato paste. Omit if you like a thin sauce.
Stir in red pepper flakes and some salt.
Top with chopped parsley and basil and serve over pasta of your choice. I used linguine.

Doug Stanhope in Tempe

2008-11-23T03:03:00.005+10:00

Last night I caught Doug Stanhope for some renegade comedy at a rock club in Tempe. He doesn't do comedy clubs because he thinks they're, "Adult Chucky Cheeses for all occasions." This was definitely not a sanitized, corporate comedy club experience, there weren't even chairs, which was mostly good. I enjoyed the 75 minutes of vitriol Stanhope offered, and got to chat with him a few minutes after the show, and he was cool. Stanhope had one of his drunken friends open with fifteen minutes of pointless, humorless rambling, which had a certain unintentional Andy Kaufmann make the audience hate you vibe. I also saw Dave Attell at the Tempe Improv a few weeks ago, which started strong but weakened as the set went on and wasn't aided by $8 per drink in this economy. Liked this line from Attell about watching the presidential debates with the sound down: "It looks like a snowman is yelling at very young pharaoh."

Quote of the week II

2008-11-16T15:49:00.007+10:00

"America is like Jessica Simpson, sometimes it's so stupid it embarasses you, but on the other hand, 'How about them titties.'"

- Bill Maher, in a good mood celebrating the greatness of America and offering the final word for this season's finale of Real Time.

Facebook is nuts

2008-11-15T14:08:00.005+10:00

I signed up for Facebook the other day on Boni's invite, and I talked to about six people I haven't talked to in five to fifteen years -- including relatives and of course ex-Saipan folks. I found both my old college roommates in about five minutes. The most interesting thing was seeing the people from grade school. The names are a real jolt from the past. From what I can tell, I'm the baldest and the one who has been the most geographically removed. It seems like everybody is on this thing. This internet is quite the invention.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-05T14:16:00.006+10:00

What a strange and bizarre feeling it is to be back living in a country where I'm again confident the right and sensible thing will be done. How good it feels to know that there is someone with real intellect in charge; someone with wide support who won't pander to the worst, most divisive instincts in people. It is a profound change to no longer expect as the norm wildly irresponsible fiscal planning and globally embarassing public policy positions. How enouraging it is to see someone empowered who will actually go about fixing the enormous real problems that face both this country and this world. I'm proud of this country again for the first time in a long, long time. Kudos to Sen. John McCain for an incredibly noble and not just rote concession speech.

Get out and vote

2008-11-05T00:13:00.006+10:00

It takes a lot to get me out of bed at 5:30 in the morning, but I found the will and got down to the polling place at 6:00 a.m. to hopefully not wait in line for hours to vote. Mission only slightly accomplished. It still took an hour in line even at that time. Lots of people won't vote over this common problem and that system needs to be fixed. Regardless, let's hope the polls are right and our long national nightmare of Republican misrule ends today.

In praise of the slow cooker

2008-11-03T14:07:00.005+10:00

I'm a big fan of the crock pot. I made a wonderful fresh tomato sauce in it a few weeks ago. It was the first time I made fresh tomato sauce and thought the result worth the extra effort. I've tried a few times and not thought it worth the trouble until now, and I thought the slow cooking process had a lot to do with the improved final results.

My general philosophy of cooking is that too much garlic is never enough. I'm coming around to a similar worldview on that as it relates to basil and shallots, which I used in abound to make that fresh tomato sauce. I used garlic, shallots, basil, parsley, sugar, oregano, red pepper flake, a splash of red wine and of courses seeded roma tomatoes cooked for a long time on low to make a lively red sauce.

The slow cooker is always great for making chicken stock without much skimming required. I regularly also use it for cooking whole brined, chicken with stuffing, pot roasts, sauerkraut and kielbasa cooked a long time on low with some onion and a bacon slice, as well as my favorite Portuguese dish, mariscada, which I continue to experiment with. This weekend I added saffron threads to the broth and a splash of sherry.

The canned hunts - hilarious

2008-11-02T10:15:00.001+10:00

This might be a little dated in terms of being "newsy," but it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

Matt Taibbi on Sarah Palin

2008-11-02T09:23:00.002+10:00

Here's the thing about Americans. You can send their kids off by the thousands to get their balls blown off in foreign lands for no reason at all, saddle them with billions in debt year after congressional year while they spend their winters cheerfully watching game shows and football, pull the rug out from under their mortgages, and leave them living off their credit cards and their Wal-Mart salaries while you move their jobs to China and Bangalore.

And none of it matters, so long as you remember a few months before Election Day to offer them a two-bit caricature culled from some cutting-room-floor episode of Roseanne as part of your presidential ticket. And if she's a good enough likeness of a loudmouthed middle-American archetype, as Sarah Palin is, John Q. Public will drop his giant-size bag of Doritos in gratitude, wipe the Sizzlin' Picante dust from his lips and rush to the booth to vote for her. Not because it makes sense, or because it has a chance of improving his life or anyone else's, but simply because it appeals to the low-humming narcissism that substitutes for his personality, because the image on TV reminds him of the mean, brainless slob he sees in the mirror every morning.

Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power.

Quote of the Week

2008-10-22T15:51:00.005+10:00

"It's the ultimate irony: a pin-up girl for people who don't believe in masturbating."

- Dana Gould on Sarah Palin

The "suns" also rises

2008-10-21T17:03:00.007+10:00

My boys are both huge NBA fans. Growing up in Saipan they never had to take their life in their hands by sitting behind an NBA basket while Shaq prepared to clang one, but tonight they took that risk and we all survived and had a great time. First, I had a plan. No one gives a hoot about the preseason in this country, so that's where I step up. I got four tickets for $5 each, which is the right price -- about half of what a movie ticket costs. I last saw Shaq play, for free with student tickets, in Columbia, S.C. against my college team the University of South Carolina when Shaq was a sophomore at LSU circa 1993. He dominated that night. Fifteen years later he's much richer, much slower and definitely the grand poobah on the court. I could see the opposing players sucking up to him during every stop in play. Shaq is still quite the figure, though Suns forward Amare Stoudamire is quite the athlete. He is big and he is very fast. Shaq did play very well tonight and the Suns won in double overtime.Alex also had quite the night. All I could do is proudly claim, "That's my boy," as he was swallowed up by the Suns cheerleaders and put on the Diamondvision. Can't really tell, but he is in the middle of that cheerleader sandwich. Not a bad night for the kid.

Grant Hill also managed to play this entire game and not get injured. He looked pretty good as well.

Larry Brown found time to contemplate what team he will coach next. He has coached the Kansas Jayhawks, Indiana Pacers, San Antonio Spurs, Philadelphia Seventy Sixers, The New York Knicks and now the Charlotte Bobcats in just what I can remember offhand without googling the complete record. I'm sure there are even more.

Ashley just took in the lights and prepared to eat the tickets. Eating paper is her new favorite pastime. Though waking me up at 3 am -- still -- ranks high for her.

Secret Machines Live

2008-10-19T05:39:00.001+10:00

The Secret Machines are my favorite new band to come along in a long while. I love their effects laden guitar and the Zeppelin, Floyd, Rush inspired space jams. I caught these guys in Tucson a while back in a small club and really liked the vibe created with the laser show they also managed to integrate. The band has a self titled new album that was released last week.

Lions and tigers oh my

2008-10-19T02:42:00.006+10:00

Ashley turned six months today, so we celebrated her half a year birthday with a trip to the local zoo, which is very close to home. The world renowned San Diego Zoo is also not terribly far, so I'm sure we'll be checking that place out eventually as well. The weather has cooled off and it feels really nice to get the occasional chill in the air after many years without one.

In the news again -- Ron Hodges

2008-10-19T02:27:00.005+10:00

I walked into my local Barnes and Nobles, which nicely is just across the street, and was looking at the many new offerings when this book caught my eye. I knew there had to be a Saipan section, and sure enough there is. And wouldn't you know it, the principal source on that chapter was none other than persona non grata himself Ron Hodges, who is quoted rather extensively. The overall mood captures the depressed economic state of the CNMI, but some of it, there were several sources, was a bit exaggerated with suggestions that the place is especially violent playing up the Mafia angles and suggested there are hordes of people with broken thumbs and such from gambling debts. The book does a good job of explaining the depressed pricing of Saipan real estate, and it uses the staggering difference in the cost of building the Hotel Nikko and what it just sold for, it might have been hundreds of millions less I can't recall, to illustrate the point.

The tenets of Scientology

2008-10-16T16:26:00.001+10:00

Tonight I caught the new Bill Maher movie Religulous, which is a combination of the two words "religion" and "ridiculous," which does seem to be a reasonable word combination. My favorite scene is this one where he goes to London and starts preaching the tenets of "Scientology." He gets treated like he's crazy because, well, it is crazy, and he makes the point that it only sounds comparatively crazy because it's newer and we haven't heard these stories as often as the ones from the more mainstream religions. Bill's too smug for the dopey masses to even contemplate a lot of what is offered in this movie, but it's nice to see someone putting up the good fight against the forces of superstition, prudism, dullness and dogma.

Smashing Pumpkins Starla

2008-10-14T06:13:00.001+10:00

This song is great. It is good to see the Smashing Pumpkins back. I love their moody, atmospheric songs that continue to build like this one.

Good game, lousy ending

2008-10-13T13:32:00.006+10:00

I got a good seat to the Dallas vs. Cardinals game today in Phoenix. From my perspective as a Cowboys fan it didn't go particularly well. The current Cowboy coach Wade Phillips is a horrible NFL coach -- maybe as bad as Barry Switzer. The rookie sensation Felix Jones doesn't get the ball nearly enough, the all pro receiver might be slipping and doesn't get the ball thrown to him very often and last year's team was an all time underachiever -- the only number one seed to go one and done in the playoffs. I made the right call to stick to the end of this game and saw a miraculous comeback to tie it up and send it to overtime, but I also saw an atrocious and brief Cowboy overtime performance where they lost in ugly fashion.

The behavior of people at these games confounds. It's like the Ancient Roman Arena only we watch people pull hamstrings and tear knee cartilage instead of slicing off limbs. When I see how kids act in school, today was a reminder of where they are getting it from. It was still cool to see the game up close and personal. I've seen the Cowboys live in three different seasons. In the previous two times they later went on to win the Superbowl. I saw them in Atlanta in 1993 and at Giants Stadium in 1995 when Emmitt Smith ran wild on the night they retired Lawrence Taylor's number.